tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85116738672703922142024-03-14T07:50:23.593-06:00Archibald's ArchivesLoving our God with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength through all of our days.Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-28442284555757568832022-03-20T22:28:00.007-06:002022-03-20T22:28:58.787-06:00The Good Shepherd<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i> “The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leds them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.”</i></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>John 10:3-4<span></span></i></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>We moved to the country not to long ago. It has been an adventure ever since. We had plans to fill our 5 acres with animals … to enjoy, not to eat! We had visions of each animal that would come to be …. only to discover “finding” these animals wasn’t as easy as we thought. It wasn’t like just go to the humane society and adopt your forever family member! We kept asking, but couldn’t find the door in.</i></span></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>Until last week! We heard of a man who was selling his flock of sheep and we knew to act fast. We reached out and Thursday after Duane got off of work, we ventured out to pick up our newest family members. I think it took almost two hours before we had caught our sheep … they didn’t want to go, and just wanted to stay in the pen they knew. We had a good home for them … weeds galore and a pen they didn’t have to share. Mama </i></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicDjitMKn--uNP34tXP9ItLk3kI-AUwz9rA_z3HPLOvtDJGhEerDSFYTZ4piHOldtIHnDuI5kY0ABKG2j8Ga-B2WheivT3IpOzrkjbSLsY7iI8R7_RHON-jQAQOMWI2-t0OQpDSjU_nTHU6od_ejbGk0TtcP04TfTXMSFvrwFhFCIuE1wW6GxfFQJ7=s4032" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicDjitMKn--uNP34tXP9ItLk3kI-AUwz9rA_z3HPLOvtDJGhEerDSFYTZ4piHOldtIHnDuI5kY0ABKG2j8Ga-B2WheivT3IpOzrkjbSLsY7iI8R7_RHON-jQAQOMWI2-t0OQpDSjU_nTHU6od_ejbGk0TtcP04TfTXMSFvrwFhFCIuE1wW6GxfFQJ7=s320" width="240" /></a></i></span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>and baby were going to a good home. </i></span><p></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>I never saw the movie .. but we are thinking of naming these sheep “Thelma and Louise”. They are feisty and have their own minds. Mama sheep stomps her front leg to let herself be known that she is going to protect her baby and herself … we are to stay away. </i></span></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>The past three days we continue to go out in their pen and we visit them throughout the day. I talk to them and let them know I’m here. I let them out of their shelter in the morning so they can roam the pasture and make sure they are tucked in at night for their protection. I fill their water and make sure their alfalfa is plenty. They are starting to know my voice … yet Mama continues to stomp her foot to let herself know she is in charge. </i></span></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>I </i></span><i style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;">have pondered the verse “they will know my voice” as Jesus speaks. I have always had an image that the sheep are obedient, loving and grateful with a smile on their face. Yet these past few days has me thinking something else. It is my</i><i style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;">hope that these sheep will trust me and will approach me as we call them. It is my desire to be loved as I continue to pour loving actions toward them. It is my vision all along we would have a relationship and enjoy each other’s company. But maybe just maybe they decide they still want their space, and the closeness I have hoped for won’t every be. </i></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>Isn’t that how our Good Father is towards us? He has the same desire yet waits it out so we learn to trust Him and desire a relationship with Him. He continues to pour His care and love, provides and feeds - physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. He is my good shepherd. I long to know His voice and go when I’m called. And those times I’m a little slow on the calling … I’m reminded how He never left me, never gave up on me, never turned his back on me. He is my Good Shepherd!</i></span></p><p><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;"><i>I will continue and shepherd Thelma and Louise. I will continue and hope that they will warm up to me and come to me. Until then, I will continue and care, protect and provide for their needs. I hope they will warm up to me but until that day, I will be with the perfect Good Shepherd as He calls my name. </i></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi-EttWfrMOPrSMbaT5kDEetuhT2wviWvDbHebaGaBLIDM40lDWqtHcQn_kYGtnfn-z_jg9UxZELUV6IGdlK0qzrl9ZzCcV8S7W-plJ-82R-IVQmEecCOou4AXl2MSXc97Fp5jEF_YdsI9xrQRP3anWvtTgshDY0iTqB0hE88Vn6smOtjqiw1zBkWLQ=s4032" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: verdana; font-style: italic; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi-EttWfrMOPrSMbaT5kDEetuhT2wviWvDbHebaGaBLIDM40lDWqtHcQn_kYGtnfn-z_jg9UxZELUV6IGdlK0qzrl9ZzCcV8S7W-plJ-82R-IVQmEecCOou4AXl2MSXc97Fp5jEF_YdsI9xrQRP3anWvtTgshDY0iTqB0hE88Vn6smOtjqiw1zBkWLQ=w219-h292" width="219" /></a></div><p></p>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-36448344596649188522021-10-04T00:10:00.000-06:002021-10-04T00:10:29.557-06:00Thankful for Each of You<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #741b47;"><b> <i>“We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety.”</i></b></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #741b47;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>2 Corinthians 1:8-11 NLT</b></span><i><b></b></i></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">It is about time I recognize so many. I have a story to tell. And God has directed me to writing. I just have chosen not to write, nor tell my story because I have believed that my story isn’t worth sharing … and truthfully … who reads this blog? </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">I read this passage tonight in several translations. And as I read it, I could identify with the words. I could easily say “…I was crushed and overwhelmed beyond my ability to endure COVID-pneumonia, and I thought I would never live through it. In fact, I expected to die. But as a result, I stopped relying on myself and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And He rescued me and will continue to rescue me again. I have placed my confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue me. And <i><u><b>YOU</b></u></i> are helping me by praying for me.”</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">I have so much to say, but I will start there. I endured Covid, and five days later I was in the ER being diagnosed with pneumonia , and the day after I was back at the ER because my oxygen level was so low, leading me in the ICU for 11 days, and then 5 days in the hospital until I could go home. Now two months later, I am still in recovery. I still have oxygen attached to me constantly, and unable to work. I depend on those around me. Healing is coming, but slower than anyone anticipated. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">My husband and I never got to say goodbye as they whisked me away to ICU and he couldn’t stay with me. We were totally separated. I was afraid because he has all the answers and he would always look after me. But for the first time in our 29 years of marriage, I didn’t have him to depend on. Duane could call the nurses and hear updates, but the doctors and the hospital would never contact him or return his calls. I was incoherent with sickness and drugged with medication; so we both didn’t know what was going on or the outcome. I was put on the maximum oxygen intake one can receive. They tried putting a pressurized mask on me without any communication which didn’t turn out well … and I was just shy of going on the ventilator. Life was uncertain for me. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">The first two days life was so uncertain - and I didn’t know if I would see Duane ever again. I didn’t know if I’d be able to love on my girls and experience the life I have come accustomed to. I was scared. I needed Duane near me and pleaded to go home the very first day. But with no strength, no ability to take in air and no wellness whatsoever going home was not going to happen. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Rest never came because Duane wasn’t there. Rest also never came because fear controlled my mind and heart - I didn’t know what they were giving me, and I didn’t know all these faces coming in and out of my room; the sounds and the constant interruptions of vitals being taken wouldn’t let me sleep either. Duane had called at one point and it was reported to him that I am not resting nor eating. Duane sent me a text encouraging me to eat and sleep. But he didn’t understand that I needed him. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">Sometime in those two days I realized the people I have known are more likely going to be seen again when we all meet together in heaven. It also didn’t help that my boss had texted and said “see you on the other side”. I had no fight within. And finally peace filled me, and filled my room. I had Jesus with me and was ready to just hold his hand and go with him. I knew I was ok. However, (as hard as it is to explain) I was encouraged to take one last look at what I was leaving. I only</span> <span style="color: #741b47;">got as far as looking at my husband and knowing we were just getting ready to celebrate 29 years of marriage and had plans to celebrate 30 years in another year! God created me as a person who enjoys numbers … and I have always been determined to see those 30 years, and I didn’t want to miss it. All of a sudden a big celebration wasn’t what was desired … I just wanted to hold Duane’s hand - no dinner, no flowers, no getaway - just his hand. And that is when things changed for me … my soul seemed to wake and start to fight. I was determined to live once again. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">There are many stories I will share with you in those 11 days in ICU. Psalm 30 was the scripture I focused in on day and night. I didn’t rest until I created a playlist to sing over me and make sure that I was worshipping not only when I was awake but I wanted my soul to worship as I slept too. My mind had to be focused on Him - not the lack of Duane’s presence or the fear that would creep in. In spite of my stay being much longer than I had ever visualized, I knew I was going to be ok because God’s word and our praise for Him doesn’t come back void. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">But there was another reason I came through this life and death situation … it was because of each of <b><u><i>you</i></u></b>. </span> <span style="color: #741b47;">Your prayers saved my life. Your prayers opened the doors for Jesus to come. Your prayers brought peace not only to me and in my room, but for Duane too. Your prayers brought me healing. Your prayers not only helped me physically - but emotionally and spiritually too. Your prayers were so powerful - and “God will continue to rescue” because of your faithfulness in prayer. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #741b47;">So today I give God thanks once again for bringing me through this, and saving me. But I give <b><i><u>YOU</u></i></b> thanks too! Your faithfulness was so good to me. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i><span style="color: #741b47;">~Karen</span></i></p>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-4576263943452238792021-06-16T05:42:00.000-06:002021-06-16T05:42:01.304-06:00Rock Bottom<div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>Tonight I put my fingers back on the keyboard and search out my heart, and be as transparent as ever with an audience I don't know … and perhaps an audience that doesn't exist - but the One that I need to start writing to once again. This is the second night that I just can't sleep … and thoughts continue to run through my mind. Thoughts of where God has me, thoughts questioning me and challenging me, thoughts that are difficult to share. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br />The phrase "rock bottom" comes to my mind. And I searched as to the meaning of it. It often is referred to those who have somesort of addiction and they hit their lowest point possible in life and can't get any lower than where they are at due to their illness. Another definition refers to be in a hopeless or difficult situation which makes you feel very depressed. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br />That is where I feel I'm at. I have hit my rock bottom. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br />What do people do when they hit their rock bottom? The internet suggests: <br /><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Let yourself feel.</i></li><li><i>Take the time to reflect.</i></li><li><i>Have faith.</i></li><li><i>Be self-compassionate.</i></li><li><i>Engage in creative outlet.</i></li><li><i>Spend time in nature.</i></li><li><i>Listen to music.</i></li><li><i>Try new things.</i></li></ol></i></span></div><p></p><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>And that is where I am at - at least some of them, and am doing it naturally. I'm finally allowing myself to feel and sort through. I'm trying to stand on what faith I have and hopefully it will grow through all this. And as I write to you I hear my "prayer playlist" playing in the background. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>What does all this mean? What am I getting at? </i></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>No I don't have an addiction. </i></span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>But I feel I have hit rock bottom. Duane and I have been enduing more than our fair share in a short amount of time. We have pressed through. And we are surviving. Which means we are making it through. Because of the circumstances, we have shared some but unable to share it all. Our world has made it so we can't. So we don't. And many have walked away because the weight of it all is so heavy and frankly it is easier to just walk awy from it all. </i></span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><span>But someone like me … who needs to talk and process things </span>outloud makes it hard to heal - and even hear from God when no one is there to just be a soundboard. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>As we go through the trials we are in, it is all wrapped in a name …that of lonliness. We have our connections. But do we have someone to call and talk to? Do we have someone to hang out with? Do we have someone to explore with? Do we have someone to try new things with? Do we have someone who will hold us accountable and pray with us as we walk the intimacy of these trials? Not really. We have held this wrapping for so long … I'm actually done with it.</i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>I have hit my rock bottom. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>The thing about being at your rock bottom is that no one can bring you out of it. There is only one - and I know Who that is. I'm thankful that I have never left You far enough that I have to find You. Or maybe I have. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>I don't know where it started … maybe the stress, the unknowing, the helplessness I have had when my dad was placed in assistant care for his Parkinson's I honestly have feelings built up in this area that has been shoved in … because well, I have heard it isn't about me. So I focus on his illness. I focus on how my mom is handling it all and do whatever I could do to help … always feeling it wasn't enough. I have focused on my daughters as they haven't dealt with a loss so close - at least one they remember. </i></span></div><div><i style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><br /></i></div><div><i style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;">When I would visit my dad, he would mention others and didn't seem to have the same fondness for me as I have for him. My dad means so much to me … and yet, as he has deteriated over the past year and a half I question as to what I mean to him. My confidence has waivered. </i></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>His situation only worsened as the world was shut down to the pandemic and then wildfires relocated him - which caused him bed sores so bad, surgery was the only solution. And yet as I held my breath as I wonder if we would see each other again, he fought through it all. He has been quarantined twice due to being in contact with those with covid, and just recently with another disease that was running through the facility. And everytime he remains unaffected physically. Yet he questions why we don't visit, and thinks we have moved on without him, and wonders about the love that covers him from his family. His love for his wife runs deep. Deeper than I have ever experienced. I am grateful to see, and honored for the foundation I was built upon. Yet, my confidence of his love for me continues to waiver. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>My heart feels lost. I don't know how to show or express my love to him. I want him to know how much I adore him. </i></span><i style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;">Now today his mind is away - and I don't know where I am in his picture. And it scares me. It hurts. And causes a lonliness that can't even be described. </i></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>My mom started having some accidental falls after she had her knee replacement. Concern filled my heart and I have tried to take the responsibility a child should offer ones parents. My job had it's own demands and made me not the "best daughter" in the world, but I tried to make that 2 hour drive at least once a week. It was at the very end of April that I heard of a bad fall that caused her to break her arm and I ran right down when I heard. I made sure she had food and had a game plan; and was willing to be part of that plan if needed. And then it was just a week later that I hear that she has fallen again - knocking herself out when her head hit the piano, waking to a pool of blood. Eighteen staples was needed. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>I'm still worried about my mom. She is all I have when I think of my extended family. And we have gone through so much. I have thought about her living with us - but know we don't have the ability in our home, and to give her a safe place without stairs. Sometimes I'm mad because I have to deal with this - because I don't see her as old enough to need this care. But most of all I'm trying to be the best child I can be and care for her - and because of my circumstances I am not even doing that. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>Last year, Duane has endured some medical issues. Something that remains unspoken - completely Something that we both have had to walk together. Something that isolates us even more and something that has been a trial in our marriage. As I tried to drift off to sleep with him tonght I know that part of our hearts are not dealing with the situation. Ignoring it seems to be the easiest thing. But is only a time bomb ready to go off to create devestation. But it has made me so insecure - because lets just face it; men and women are so different. He thinks with his mind, and I think with my heart and we just don't fully grasp one another. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>And then me. Nothing too major. Two concussions - within a matter of five days. Something you would think would be easy to get over. Fear has gribbed me as Alzeimer's has been spoken into my life for my future. The seriousness of how I can not have anymore accidents or falls has paralized me. The doctor says to rest for two months. I have lost all freedom of driving and even walking by myself. I'm thankful that my husband has been there to hold onto and for his extended hand of protection .. but also hate depending on him. The symptoms that haven't left is frustrating because it has been so long. I feel I have judgment from those who doubt it all - I wish they could see the world tilted in my eyes. I am nauseous frequently because of the unbalanced motion of the world. My home is my safe place. I just found that I don't have cancer in the brain - and the thought they were even looking for that! I wait for the specialist for another 1 1/2 months. Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatments, vitamin B, a machine to get all the bad stuff out of my water, and rest fills my days. I'm ready for normalcy. </i></span><i style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"> </i></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>And tonight I reach out to you because I can't hide the emotions anymore. I have hit the point so low that depression does greet me with welcome arms. I long to just run. I long to run away from California. I long to run away from my church. I long to run away from everything I know. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>I keep remembering that we know You are good. Yet I think of all that I'm walking through and ask myself - Do I believe You are good - even though you are gradually taking my dad? Do I believe You are good - even though my mom continues to have falls and now is facing surgery? Do I believe You are good - even though I have been put in a silent room with an illness that hurts a husband and wife? Do I believe You are good - even though the world is unbalanced through my eyes and not better yet? Do I believe you are good in the isolation?</i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>So tonight, as I reach my rock bottom, I searched to see if you have anything to say about the matter … </i></span></div><p></p><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i> That person is like a man building a house who dug deep and laid the foundation on rock. When the floods came, the water tried to wash the house away, but it could not shake it, because the house was built well. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana; font-size: x-small;"><b>Luke 6:48</b></span></div></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>It has been around 34 years now that I have chosen you in my life. I have built that foundation on a rock. The floods are coming, and doing everything to wash all that I have away. But today I stand on You - my Rock and can stand in confidence the choice I made 34 years ago will get me through this these days and these trials. I hate to say that my rock bottom, can even get more rockier … but I choose you to be the Rock that greets me in it all. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>The Lord is my rock, my protection, my Savior. My God is my rock. I can run to him for safety. He is my shield ad my saving strength, my defender. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana; font-size: x-small;"><b>Psalm 18:2</b></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>God, I confess to you I want to run. I want to take things in my own hand. Tonight you grab my attention as you won't let me sleep - and I reach out to you and see that I need to run to You - not away. I've been grumbling about all that has hit us. I'm thankful for the lives that you have put into mine. I'm thankful that you have not isolated me. I am thankful that my parents are with me and You have drawn my mom and I closer than we have ever been. I am thankful that my husband and I are able to hold hands more than ever. I am thankful that our love remains and how You have proven that the greatest is Love. I am thankful that when I opened this blog that as been neglacted for so long that an unposted message greeted me and refocused my direction. I am thankful that through this time of waiting for "normalcy" I have the opportunity to seek you even more. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>So are You a Good God?</i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>You have remained. You are faithful. You make ALL things good and use even the brokeness to your favor. You heal. You redeem. </i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: verdana;"><i>You are Good! </i></span></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-90448093022254716282021-06-16T03:36:00.001-06:002021-06-18T16:51:06.580-06:00The AssignmentIt was a simple question that the pastor's wife asked of us. To just post a picture of us standing in our favorite part of our home or property, and post another in our least. I could have sent any ol' picture but for whatever reason this question really got my mind pondering.<br />
<br />
And thanksgiving over flowed in my heart. After days of pondering I realized what a testimony this home is. What I have experienced in this home, I haven't experienced in any other home we had … at least to the depth.<br />
<br />
We have recently remodeled a couple of rooms: our bathroom and kitchen. It would be natural to take a picture in those rooms. The kitchen is where I experience creativity and passion and able to serve. And as much as I experience the joy of kitchen … it's not my favorite. The bathroom is the gratest transformation: something truly horrible and ugly now so purposeful and beautiful. Isn't that Jesus in our lives? How He transforms us from our horrible selves into something beautiful. That could be it … but no, it wasn't it.<br />
<br />
Do I post a picture of our sitting room? That could it. It is a room where plants surround me, reminding me of life. It is a place I come and meet with Jesus in my quiet time, and where my intimate conversations take place with those I hold dear. That could be it. But I still had hesitancy as I thought about all the other rooms. <br />
<br />
The laundry room, even though, the frequent mess of dirt trampling through and the collection of shoes still brings me a pleasant feeling. The dining room is full of fellowship, intimacy, laughter and conversations. A place where I can serve those I love. That surely could be it. The family room is where the girls play their instruments and worship. It has turned into our santuary where we have church now and we gather to watch movies, play games and where my husband holds me or my hand. That could be it too. Or what about the stairwell where so many pictures greet me and remind me of the good memories I have had with so many people. Or what about our room with its solitude and the intimacy, love and embrace only a husband and wife share. And the fourth bedroom .. storing the fun of games, creativity of crafts and sewing and such, and a place I can work or rather daydream as I stare out the window. Or do I stand in the only room we liked when we purchased our home .. .the downstairs bathroom, the room we still love and are thankful for because it drew us here. Or what about the rabbit coop where I'm greeted with so many cute faces and the fun they are. And the back porch where I can sit and relaxe and soak up the sun and enjoy the beauty of the flowers that surround me.<br />
<br />
As I pondered, I have been grateful of all that God has blessed us with. I have experienced His blessings in each room and each room is filled with His goodness. I have a tangible reminder of a good God and the overflowing of goodness He has provided me.<br />
<br />
I couldn't help but remember the day we found this house. We had transitioned back to California. We were trying hard to make something new, because we were determined to not return to the life and area we had known. We were going to live somewhere new, somewhere different. The realestate business was hot, and we had put eleven offers in different homes … all of them going at least 100,000 over asking prices - something we couldn't even compete in. Our temporary housing was about up and we were running out of hope. One thing happened after another, and we saw our now home on Redfin. It met all the criterias, but I just didn't like it. We placed an offer on the home still but <b><i><u>way</u></i></b> less than the offer, believing the bank would never accept. But God always wins .. and the keys were ours.<br />
<br />
I had a disagreement with Duane right after watching church on Sunday. And true to form I retreated to <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb5BR-0u6UFk_8KVXCuTYyYjYiGJs3RSdNAb_4FIZJtcFYCoTwk7EQZNy8pWyAafgE4rTxYtdnUX3xZNiVpCt16BiuRtWDLM7gwqUvnYh-hGoNlJeneAqXbt4BIwg_gWCFEwQj0cu0P20/s4032/IMG_4826.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb5BR-0u6UFk_8KVXCuTYyYjYiGJs3RSdNAb_4FIZJtcFYCoTwk7EQZNy8pWyAafgE4rTxYtdnUX3xZNiVpCt16BiuRtWDLM7gwqUvnYh-hGoNlJeneAqXbt4BIwg_gWCFEwQj0cu0P20/w180-h240/IMG_4826.HEIC" width="180" /></a></div><br />the place that always welcomes me. I took my tea and poindered. I was upset with my behavior and frustrated with my husband. But I went and sat and confessed my heart to God there. I sat and looked around and saw the beauty around me and thanksgiving filled my heart. I felt close to God once again. I realized then and there where my favorite spot was - my front porch. It is there no matter what I'm going through my heart always sores towards Him and thanksgiving fills my heart. It is there I welcome those into our home, and send off my love when they go - and God does the same with each of us. I watch the birds, and the bumble bees and rabbit - even though it eats my flowers. It's not my favorite door, and the porch needs some touching up - but in spite of that, God is with me.<br />
<br />
The least favorite place in our home was just as difficult because each room is so good because God is part of each of them. It could be the girls room as there are many times it is hard to find the floor … but because of the lives that fill them, I'm even fond of those rooms. But then I remembered a room that intensifies my fear of the dark because there is no electricity, and the spiders and mice have been easy to find. But also a place where we have had kittens born in there .. the detached garage, carriage house, shed or whatever you want to call it. <br />
<br />
So today thankful that God not only gives us a testimony in our lives but in our homes as well. And I am thankful He chose us to live here. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-612673193233190952020-07-16T11:49:00.003-06:002020-07-16T11:49:55.278-06:00My Perfect Counselor<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You guide me with your counsel,and afterward you will take me into glory." </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Psalm 73:23-24</b></span></div>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I have endured life challenges and have a sensitive soul, so it won't surprise you when I mention that I seek counseling throughout my life. My counselor has helped me so much and has helped free me from the torments I have put in my mind … and heart. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Life continues to throw it's challenges and discouragement, and has a tendency to overwhelm me, and I had to make an appointment to seek my counselor once again - making sure I'm thinking straight and to help me with balance in my life, and just a place I can unload. I'm grateful for him. And I'm grateful for the technology as I continue to use the same counselor who has walked with transitions and hardships in Colorado, as I move on with life in California. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Counseling. A safe place I can be true with what is going on. A place I feel heard. A place I seek wisdsom, advice and accountability. A place I have someone on my side. I place I can receive empathy and compassion in and unempathetic and uncompassionate world. I don't like admiting I need counseling during those rough times, but once I go I enjoy going all the same and have a hard time letting go when it comes to an end. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>My God. The ultimate Counselor. The safe place where I can run to and where I can be true and feel heard. The perfect source of wisdom, advice and accountability. He is always there for me and on my side. I not only receive empathy and compassion but wisdom and truth. My pride keeps my from admitting that I need counseling and perhaps the rough times come often so He can remind me how much I need Him. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>At the end of each counseling appointment come the payment. I'm reminded that I'm seeking professional help, not the connection of a friendship that comes freely. But as I prayed and recognized God this morning I not only have a friendship that has never walked away but He has paid the ultimate price for me. He sent His son so I can come to him without any payment. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Thank you God for your sacrafice. And thank you God for being the perfect counselor. </i></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-48823551319302471792020-04-19T14:36:00.000-06:002020-04-19T14:36:02.682-06:00God's Sanctuary<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Luke 10:38 - 42 </b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>God has put this familiar story on my heart the past couple of days. Any guesses as to whether I'm a Martha or Mary? Family members can't be included in this question! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I have noticed that since we have been a sheltered in place society and church has been online for the past couple of months that I still get ready for church. What that means is I still get a little dressed up and I find myself serving the church. You know in our church we serve some how in some way. We have greeters, ushers, worshippers and the list goes on. I have never found my exact place … but now that we are sheltered in place I have. I find this odd. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkafj592IQNDJ9URrwHNzYCDmlNq7tRa2H1UWPYbXYx-S4SbLYDEjVBjFYi1-umnDGkyzBEWo1i0oM47fs2JxCIAPubkKBUIXSB5UqDyAQ3UtxhJsgrfWgCy9qoChGBufZWpWCi_iMzkU/s1600/IMG_4685.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkafj592IQNDJ9URrwHNzYCDmlNq7tRa2H1UWPYbXYx-S4SbLYDEjVBjFYi1-umnDGkyzBEWo1i0oM47fs2JxCIAPubkKBUIXSB5UqDyAQ3UtxhJsgrfWgCy9qoChGBufZWpWCi_iMzkU/s320/IMG_4685.HEIC" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I just recently noticed what I have been doing. If it isn't the night before, it is the hour right before I make sure the family room is ready to be our sanctuary. I dust, vacuum, make sure the connecting bathroom is cleaned. I felt God show me what I have been doing, and questioned my motives. In my response it is my worship to him, and it draws me closer to Him. It is my preparation for what is about to take place, and a sanctuary that others can feel welcomed and invited in. It is a place of peace. I know it is my worship because there is joy in the giving and my heart is already with Him as I worship through the songs that play in the back ground.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Since the above passage was nagging at me, I looked at it once more. Martha has a bad name in this story…always has. I have heard countless of times in my church journey "don't be a Martha". Martha's heart might have turned in the wrong focus, but she is the one that opened the home and welcomed Jesus and his followers a place. She is the one that welcomed Jesus in for Mary. No one knew what was going to take place that day, but Martha was the one that allowed it to take place.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Martha's eyes shifted a bit and focused in all the details: the menu, the clean kitchen, the grocery shopping, the serving, the cleaning: dusting, vacuuming, and making sure everything was just so. She focused on so much that she judged others for not seeing and doing as she was…when simply Jesus wants us to focus on Him and soak in His presence. Her perfectionism and detailed mind claimed the tasks were more than Jesus, and turned her heart from welcoming to accusing. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4gYKdCDfJ5ymHCWnuVJFc-2YT6JikDv_TWIwuI6AY7JmwYdNmxCcyhYOQ6b25Th-Yq1Blvwv5a4SlU3w6QJnQ-lz_RDvdp_jTOuNameGrTJcxuPgEau14FDVPfvN8tSSFYtsFlM5oWuE/s1600/IMG_9077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4gYKdCDfJ5ymHCWnuVJFc-2YT6JikDv_TWIwuI6AY7JmwYdNmxCcyhYOQ6b25Th-Yq1Blvwv5a4SlU3w6QJnQ-lz_RDvdp_jTOuNameGrTJcxuPgEau14FDVPfvN8tSSFYtsFlM5oWuE/s320/IMG_9077.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Does that mean since I can identify with Martha I'm not sitting before His feet? Not today. But there have been times I haven't. But as I prepare and serve the church by getting the sanctuary ready it has become a place of preparation where I find myself already connecting with Jesus and it brings me so much peace and joy. In this act of worship, it will also be a place where all will feel welcomed to come just as they are and sit before the Lord. I will continue to prepare a place that I won't be distracted to the message that I need to hear. But what I won't do is make it a task of demands, and get in an overwhelmed state because of the things that must be done, or make it something that I have to do. I will continue to give to the Lord as He has created me to be, but won't demand others to do the same. The girls will give to the church through their musical talents and Duane will continue to give with his wisdom, as he continues to lead this home. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I know that Martha gets focused on the tasks and details and shifts her eyes off Jesus. But in the beginning she invited Him in. And Jesus has an open invitation this Sunday and the following to come into this home and reclaim this home as His sanctuary. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>So … life will eventually return back to normal. What will that look like for me? I don't know anymore. Jesus will continue to have an invite into our home … and I will have to find myself a place to serve where I can worship the Lord. </i></span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </i>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-36643278404026582602019-12-19T12:10:00.000-07:002019-12-19T12:10:32.444-07:00My Prince of Peace<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rest."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Luke 2: 8-14</span></b></div>
<br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRprhm22ROoA8tbTqqZ7x6Y73mptn_gASSE5iHmfaBEJrBEKYeHDQ&s" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for star over bethlehem" border="0" class="rg_ic rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRprhm22ROoA8tbTqqZ7x6Y73mptn_gASSE5iHmfaBEJrBEKYeHDQ&s" height="149" jsaction="load:str.tbn" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRprhm22ROoA8tbTqqZ7x6Y73mptn_gASSE5iHmfaBEJrBEKYeHDQ&s" style="height: 194px; margin-top: 2px; width: 259px;" width="200" /></a>I hear this passage and I sense a calmness in the story. Peace came to the shepherds. I'm sure they were startled and perhaps even fearful of what they were seeing, what they were experiencing … but all in all peace surrounded them. I sense a quietness and stillness also in the moment … as the moment stood still as they grasped what was being told to them. <br />
<br />
This time of the year we hear the word "peace" quite often. However … do we live in a moment of peace? Drivers cutting in and making wrong decisions so they can get to where they are going and honking at you to get out of the way, shoppers getting cranky and downright rude as they feel the pressure of Christmas coming closer and they have still way too much to do, and just society becoming more focused on our own selves than who we are doing life with - peace is hard to find sometimes, and sometimes down right impossible.<br />
<br />
I sit here with a knot in my stomach, one that just won't unwind. I wrestle with my dad not only being put into an assistant living home, but how fast his disease is taking him. I wrestle with the decisions ahead that I'm not really part of but hearing about - whether I agree or disagree isn't the issue, but the confusion and exclusion I'm dealing with. I wrestle with my connection to other family members with all this and helping my daughters walk through this as well. I wrestle a lot with what I'm dealing with at work. I hear things, see things that just aren't right. Confusion is part of my circumstances. Being pulled in many different directions, being a support to those around me as well as being the one everyone wants to talk to - because "I'm a little easier". And in the midst of all this we decide to do remodeling. <br />
<br />
My stomach hurts. The knot just doesn't want to loosen. <br />
<br />
I know I need to sit with my God. However, what do I say? What do I open my Bible to? What do I do? After all, He knows everything and sees what I'm going through. How do I release it?<br />
<br />
Christmas we call out Peace. But yet we don't experience peace. Life is cruel and gets in the way. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">John 14:27</span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For me yoke is easy and my burden is light."</span></i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Matthew 11:28-30</span></b></div>
<br />
I don't have to have the answers, for Jesus is the answer. I don't have to worry about tomorrow because He has it taken care of. I don't have to figure out what is right and wrong because He is the truth and wins in the end. I know this full well.<br />
<br />
Jesus came. And all He asks is for me to come to Him.<br />
<br />
don't have to have an agenda, or know where to open my Bible to, or even know what to say. I just to come. He will take care of it all.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrB6_4KSQso_aS0cmhm-cvVHqFIbzbSXq8SrqTnyhBffne3hoH&s" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Related image" border="0" class="irc_rii" data-iml="1576781713757" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrB6_4KSQso_aS0cmhm-cvVHqFIbzbSXq8SrqTnyhBffne3hoH&s" style="height: 125.97826086956523px; margin-top: 0px; width: 190px;" /></a>So today come. I ask all the emotions, turmoil and details I'm going through with my Dad He will handle. I surrender the hurt, anger, and confusion for His peace. I come. I surrender. And I receive His peace He has to offer.<br />
<br />
I chose to walk away from the troubles of this world, and just come to Him and sit. I receive His peace.<br />
<br />
I chose to walk away from my job today and let Him be the center. <br />
<br />
I chose Peace. I chose Him. And I receive the Peace that entered this world years ago is entering me today. <br />
<br />
Simply come. Simply receive. <br />
<br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-10534003427806107882019-11-01T14:06:00.001-06:002019-11-01T14:06:31.296-06:00In All Circumstances I Will Give Thanks<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming o the Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">1 Thessalonians 5:28</span></i></div>
<br />
It was a week ago, as the administrator, I discovered salary compared to my fellow workers. Anger came with it. I felt cheated, used and a big slap in my face. Face it, my heart for my company, and my role is being taken for granted. I even had thoughts of reverse discrimination on my heart and lips … as I know the comments that have been made in the past that revealed my boss's heart, and the circumstances my fellow workers face compared to my blessings. I will confess bitterness, ungratefulness and ugliness filled my being. And I was ready to give my notice.<br />
<br />
It was all justified.<br />
<br />
In the midst of this anguish, I have dealt with Duane's job and it's lack of leadership and how it's affecting my husband and his demeanor at home. The shock of my peace and hope being robbed from me when I heard how after my dad's return home things aren't as they seem and now needs a permanent care facility. Still finding my fit and purpose at my church and always question if I'm good enough. And the continued battle of entitled customers who want to fight, intimidate and threaten - all over chicken.<br />
<br />
It's been a very hard week.<br />
<br />
I've been angry, bitter, hurt, and beaten this week. Yet we turned the page of the calendar today. And we are now in the month of thanksgiving. And I can't help but remember "give thanks in all circumstances". I am reminded too I can change my circumstances with thanksgiving not just over my lips, but in my heart as we arre called.<br />
<br />
I'm leading a Bible study about Gideon. Priscilla Shirer reminds us "God designed your key specifically to fit the lock He has in mind for you. He uses your weaknesses, the areas and places where you feel the least strong, to open a divine door". God uses our weaknesses to show how strong He is, and a reminder of WHO He is.<br />
<br />
Life is hard. Life isn't fair. But this season of Thanksgiving, may in mark a start of a heart of gratitude not for a month but for a lifetime. And may I see my God in the midst of my circumstances and see not only <b><u><i>what</i></u></b> I have to be thankful for, but <b><i><u>who</u></i></b> I have to be thankful to. <br />
<br />
I may have "reasons" to quit. I may have an ungrateful employer. But like the disciples in the boat, focusing on the storm that they were in the midst of instead of Jesus who was with them I too can shift my eyes off the circumstances and see the God I have to hold onto. With Him I can find my peace, trust and comfort. I can see my weaknesses - my lack of education, my lack of experience, my financial mistakes, my bad behavior and anger towards everyone this week …. and see I have a God who provides enough, a God who remains faithful and protects, and a God strong enough to carry me through the storms, and will justify all that comes against me.<br />
<br />
I don't know what tomorrow holds in these circumstances … but I do know if I shift my eyes I will have the highest regard because I continue to be a hard worker. I am to be patient with those around me, hold onto good, be joyful always, be thankful continually. And I am able to do these things if I shift my eyes toward Him and off the circumstances. I'm God's vessel … those who come against me, are coming against the God who takes residence within me. And as his word says: "He is faithful and will do it".<br />
<br />
I'm thankful for a job I enjoy. I am thankful I have a setting that I can change someones day around. I am thankful I am able to use my spiritual gifts, and even though I don't "preach" to those around me, most see the Jesus within me and treat me with respect. I am thankful others feel comforted, encouraged, loved and appreciated by me and find me to be a safe place to come to to share their hearts and let me pray over them (even though they don't know that's what I do). But more importantly I am thankful to a God who sees, who loves, forgives and will use a weak person like me with crappy circumstances and do something even greater to show how perfect and great He is.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-34604636559337229772018-11-09T10:14:00.001-07:002018-11-09T10:20:09.940-07:00God's Uncontainable Love<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><span class="text Eph-3-17" id="en-NIV-29269" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29269AB" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29269AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29269AC" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29269AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and established in love,</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span class="text Eph-3-18" id="en-NIV-29270" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29270AD" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29270AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> to grasp how wide and long and high and deep<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29270AE" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29270AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> is the love of Christ,<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span><span class="text Eph-3-19" id="en-NIV-29271" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">and to know this love that surpasses knowledge<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29271AF" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29271AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>—that you may be filled<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29271AG" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29271AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> to the measure of all the fullness of God."</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Ephesians 3:17-19</b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I went to see me mom and dad today. And I took the long way home, because I just needed to see what I knew was going to be a glimpse of the ocean as the sun was setting fast. I don't remember seeing much but knew it was there just the same. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I longed to touch the sand, even if the beaches were technically closed and the unknown was out there. Fear and time kept me away. I longed to touch the water's edge, but obedience and responsibility won out. I felt I missed what my heart was longing for. And wonder how much I do the same with the One who created me and the moments I am in.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8PqVe325C7Snq4CbvwOrlZW6QV2Mdzi86QakvqyEgYSS6mTquXaFtyW4oI4hG1HImhH8DLNEhGGE8syMJq2BTJzySwNu1UxaGx2reI1JgnWWG-APjpK0SHMridH2uhaoAv2ZM2whlYKE/s1600/IMG_2112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8PqVe325C7Snq4CbvwOrlZW6QV2Mdzi86QakvqyEgYSS6mTquXaFtyW4oI4hG1HImhH8DLNEhGGE8syMJq2BTJzySwNu1UxaGx2reI1JgnWWG-APjpK0SHMridH2uhaoAv2ZM2whlYKE/s400/IMG_2112.JPG" width="400" /></a><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On the whole journey home, I kept thinking about God's love for me and my love for Him. I know my God is constantly present but how many times am I missing Him because I let responsibilities, obedience to the world and fear and time demands dictate my time with Him.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I can't help but see how vast the ocean is - I knew that no matter how far I looked, even if I had the best technology I would never see land on the other side of the ocean. I also knew that the ocean would continue up the coast farther than the highway would allow. I couldn't help but think of the verse written above, and wonder if I could just grasp a bit of God's love for me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm not going to get into the detail … but bottom line, I feel unloved - more so, unworthy of love; yet I know full well I am. But I'm an emotional being - a feeler and long to <b><i>feel</i> </b>over <i><b>know</b></i> the truth of love. And because I struggle with feeling loved by those who know me, I can't help but struggle with God's love for me. I know it is true. I know He loves me … but if I could just feel it over the knowing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I visualized my 5'6" body in the center of the ocean water, picturing the miles and miles from my body to the ocean floor. I saw the waves crashing over me, drenching me - almost drowning me. I saw God's love doing the same. I also saw me splashing out of glee of the water around me and splashing the water back up to the heavens … yet, with all my might the water splash couldn't reach. God sees the attempts of my love for him, but He wins … His love totally out does. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I continued my journey home. The road was quite dark except for the occasional headlights that would come and go. Yet even in the darkness I knew the ocean was west of me. I could see the glow for a while, and then eventually that faded. When I rolled the window down, I could smell the salt air, and I could feel the ocean breeze. When I sit in His presence I am reminded that as I go through the motions I may not feel His presence, or even doubt He is with me … but if I sit and look I can see His light around me, I can take deep breathes of Him all around and feel His movement. But I have to make the effort to pursue so I can experience.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwg9TE5rk-BK63zrtTCPvIn3dL8yaY2SKzf95aDAYPowrwul6VZYdd8g-1v_8e0kG8uJaMxEjkWkSNTEf3i81Q8mxrOMk9cRlj9E9X-RPT5GbWXpYOTDHQy4mgO47z04EeJfoIc1NCiT8/s1600/20151128_131447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwg9TE5rk-BK63zrtTCPvIn3dL8yaY2SKzf95aDAYPowrwul6VZYdd8g-1v_8e0kG8uJaMxEjkWkSNTEf3i81Q8mxrOMk9cRlj9E9X-RPT5GbWXpYOTDHQy4mgO47z04EeJfoIc1NCiT8/s320/20151128_131447.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The highway that was once parallel with the ocean took its turns and curves and even took me up some steeper terrain. Yet no matter how many turns of the roads I took, no matter how high up in altitude I went, I knew I just had to turn my head to the west and the ocean was there. This journey of life, with all its turns and curves, and challenges and depth of despair … God is still there, I just have to turn my head and see. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There is one part of the drive that has trees that remind me of those in Snow White, where they grab her and long to scare her. I admit my heart races, and I pray my truck doesn't break down at that point of the drive. But I am also reminded just like the ocean remains near, so does God as I face those scary and overwhelming times in life. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Eventually my ocean side highway came to an end, and I had to journey inland. Yet in order to make it home I had to use a bridge to cross over the bay waters (an extension of the ocean I once saw). And when I drove on that bridge and looked all around me and saw nothing but water - it was then I smiled and was a bit giddy as I was reminded how God's love <i><b>still</b></i> surrounds me. I saw that even the ocean couldn't be contained and overflowed inland, throughout the bay up the creeks and rivers. I was experiencing then how His love overflows for me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was just miles from home, where the familiarity was amongst me, the knowing what lies ahead, the smells I know so well, the expectations, everything I fully know - but too - even the grumpiness, unkindness, and the quickness of anger of those around me - all of which I have also come to know and accept. I was in the midst of what I knew that I had almost forgotten the journey I had been on. I took the time to remember. And as I journey on with the demands of life and the clock and those around me that offer encouragement and some not so much I can remember, see and even experience the greatness of God's uncontainable love. I'm reminded that I am not only loved, but find joy and peace within. </span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am hoping that I can return back to the ocean's edge this weekend with the ones I hold dear … as God's love isn't just for me, there is an overabundance for all! </span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-83885286466002322222018-10-13T13:35:00.000-06:002018-10-13T13:35:09.821-06:00S-t-r-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-t-c-h!That's the word today in my study. To be stretched. To make yourself available to God, and to simply say yes. It is also something that hurts when doing but make<br />
s room for strength and conditioning. It's a good thing. <br />
<br />
The challenging question for me is … where is God stretching me? I feel like for the first time in a long time, I'm at a place that I'm getting comfortable in. So why am I not being stretched? Or am I? Or greater … uh oh …. am I about to be?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFK2ZTh9APmxdtQBdMbvMDF7jEZdWNaPZWTZ1_5w4Qi1CTseKsLF4nEmbL4ShpzptWu3tq4yFywP2zzABLiRLOkIT2C_SxM7_3hLWb1zUm6ck153z9SgEwBdFkqKCM3VrRPyZWYuHHtbE/s1600/2399_54235543686_7092830_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="604" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFK2ZTh9APmxdtQBdMbvMDF7jEZdWNaPZWTZ1_5w4Qi1CTseKsLF4nEmbL4ShpzptWu3tq4yFywP2zzABLiRLOkIT2C_SxM7_3hLWb1zUm6ck153z9SgEwBdFkqKCM3VrRPyZWYuHHtbE/s200/2399_54235543686_7092830_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>It's not a secret that I am adopted. I have talked about how emotionally and spiritually impactful that was for me a few times. It's also not a secret that we have pursued adoption a few times, only to have them fail. I have worked through all the emotional scaring and impact these have had on me. I believe I am over it.<br />
<br />
Yet, why are these things coming up in my life again? <br />
<br />
I don't know. I am also confident in saying that I have no desire to pursue anymore or have any layers left to work through with my story. I'm done. I'm in a good place. Yet …<br />
<br />
I have seen in my previous post of how I was able to connect with someone at a deeper level, reach someone no one else was able to reach. Today I was able to share with another of how we have something more in common, which has connected us more. What is God doing with my story?<br />
<br />
Today in my study I am reminded of how guarded I am at church. I have been deeply hurt by "the church" a couple times in my life. I have been thrown down and trampled. I have received judgment instead of compassion and love. Fingers have been pointed and I have been shunned. And just writing these words, I see Jesus carrying his cross and being treated the same. <br />
<br />
Why are we so hard on one another? Why do we allow our hurts to hurt others … or in my case, keep a wall up and guard myself. Because we are all broken. And just like broken glass, some pieces can be a little more sharper than others. <br />
<br />
I have forgiven those who have offended me. I've worked past that. But can I allow the walls to come down and allow others to come into my life at a deeper level? Can I take a risk with a possibility of backs to be turned my way? Can I risk those getting to know the intimate side of me and use it against me? <br />
<br />
One of my favorite shows was Fixer Upper. Chip would make it clear that his favorite day was "demo day". In order to make room for the vision, the newness, the open floor plan, and organized beauty he had to tear down and demolish the walls. He had to get rid of the old to make room for the new. The house couldn't grow and accomplish what was to come if the old was still there. <br />
<br />
Karen's Demo Day … it's how I'm being stretched. I have to demolish the walls that are holding the vision God has for me, the newness and open floor plan God has created in me. I have to get rid of the old to make room for the new and destroy those walls. <br />
<br />
The question is this … who is swinging their sledgehammer with me? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-79548213362335072402018-10-11T12:00:00.000-06:002018-10-11T12:00:06.091-06:00The Second MileIt's not a surprise for those who know me. I work at Chick-fil-A. I remember the day clearly when God sent me. I was having my quiet time and heard God's still small voice tell me to go. I also remember me telling him "I'm to good for Chick-fil-A", but I went. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.secondcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/eat-mor-chikin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for chick fil a" border="0" class="irc_mi" height="114" src="https://www.secondcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/eat-mor-chikin.jpg" style="margin-top: 11px;" width="200" /></a>What is a surprise to you, is even beyond the passion I have of the company and the young adults I work with, I still struggle with knowing if I'm doing what God wants me to do, and if I do it well. <br />
<br />
And what is a surprise to me, is how God still reveals himself through the "mission" He has placed me in.<br />
<br />
When we relocated to California, I thought my journey with this company came to an end. I was working at a different location, and the commute was just too far and quickly doing me in. I called it quits after a few short months. I was on Facebook in the middle of the night when the current location I work at reached out to me. And now the rest is history.<br />
<br />
I am the Administrator/Training Director at the restaurant. I am using the gifts God has placed in me. Some things I do I find quite easy to do, other things are successful challenges. But no matter what I find joy in the job itself. <br />
<br />
I would be lying to you if I told you that I don't doubt myself sometimes - not just in my job, but just in my everyday life. I always question if I'm doing what God wants of me. <br />
<br />
I have measured my success with what society has put before me: including the type of job I have. I have struggled with being proud of where I am, as those close to me saw me in the "fast food business" and in all honesty, I too never expected to find myself at Chick-fil-A. Yet I have found many stories through my journey there that have grown me in my walk with the One who created me for just a time and place as this.<br />
<br />
I don't have a "rags to riches" type testimony, but one that makes me ever so grateful of God seeing me and pulling me out of the pit I was in. However, there are many others that are such more impactful and bring so many others to Christ. And so I wonder how in the world can God use my story.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRtf7NXlDIKXtxnHYabN7gimDpX3ckCvS9z1VHFz-WqqtpuxFOzz2LvgCl5TK6UIdawgr-qehNDTiXhG4s9JoITx8sWFPjCahTezxOPBxE_tRFQBAuFwaLvALrtF7dQ94hjREmfW4u4O8/s1600/12592644_10153500424378687_2410741785901039356_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRtf7NXlDIKXtxnHYabN7gimDpX3ckCvS9z1VHFz-WqqtpuxFOzz2LvgCl5TK6UIdawgr-qehNDTiXhG4s9JoITx8sWFPjCahTezxOPBxE_tRFQBAuFwaLvALrtF7dQ94hjREmfW4u4O8/s320/12592644_10153500424378687_2410741785901039356_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
As the training director at Chick-fil-A it is my job to introduce the company to the new hires as well as share the passion of the founder. Truett Cathy reminds us: 1. We are not in the chicken business, but the people business. 2. Our mission statement is "to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A." 3. How we are to go the 2nd mile …to go above and beyond expectations and develop unique experiences (based on Matthew 5:41). I speak it weekly, I hear the words each week as if they were new and there is a quickening in my spirit. Yet …<br />
<br />
Yet … am I glorifying God? Am I being a positve influence to those who I come in contact with? How can I go the 2nd mile today? And … am I doing what God calls me to or is there something else?<br />
<br />
I had a little chuckle the other night as I read my devotion before bed, written by Max Lucado. It was titled "The Society of the Second Mile". Each word I could associate with my day to day journey with God at my work. The words confirmed I was to be where I am at and God wasn't done with me yet. However, I was challenged: "serve the ones who hate you; forgive the ones who hurt you. Take the lowest place, not the highest; seek to serve, not to be served. Retaliate, not in kind, but in kindness." <br />
<br />
Even as I work with passion, I have challenges each day. I am human. And I work with young humans with high emotions. I just had a couple of team members hurt my feelings the other day. My flesh wants to just give them the cold shoulder, just ignore them. I have guests that call and tell us how we forgot to put sauce in the bag, which was requested and how they deserve a refund and how frankly we stink at our job. I want to cry, hang up on the call and lash out in words. My first instinct is how I feel, what my initial reaction is. But I continue to listen, apologize, solve and thank. I'm to be quick to forgive and to love… shake off my sandals and still go that extra mile. It isn't what is required of me to be a team member at Chick-fil-A, but as a child of Christ. I'm really representing Jesus, not the cow.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLgTmYzE0bz63CMX_AEJEl0FYJR1YqwFWN2PPXg7KjAdYZVJlcx7-r2QoqxecepZQBizxUrUoxQXjNTUqWZzPEQ7r_DlXgbsJZcYdATV4g77Mi1qNx2yqGHAIwn5HL7nl0VTzBQig0q2U/s1600/10502366_10152527187833687_2062473436012017300_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLgTmYzE0bz63CMX_AEJEl0FYJR1YqwFWN2PPXg7KjAdYZVJlcx7-r2QoqxecepZQBizxUrUoxQXjNTUqWZzPEQ7r_DlXgbsJZcYdATV4g77Mi1qNx2yqGHAIwn5HL7nl0VTzBQig0q2U/s320/10502366_10152527187833687_2062473436012017300_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
I went into work yesterday for a couple of hours. Nothing was going as planned. Nothing. Attitudes weren't at their finest. And I saw a lot of flesh wanting to take over. My flesh included. But I have to roll with the punches, and offer the other cheek. A team member wasn't feeling well, and I kept her near my side in the office, inspite of what I needed to get done that day. One thing after another started pouring out of her. Feelings of defeat and failure. Being an only child and it's demands. Pressures of doing what is right according to society and wanting to please parents. Curiosity and loneliness. Depression and anxiety. What was pouring out before me, was the "younger Karen" I once knew….it was my old story. And then I heard these words: "Ms. Karen, are you busy? Can you talk with me?" I let go of what was on the agenda and made myself available. God allowed me to connect with someone at a deeper level: soul to soul, and I was able to speak truth over someones life, as well as encourage and give hope. And today I pray over her. I soon realized my day wasn't about training and customer service, but instead going the extra mile and walking by someone specific and to see how my story was used to encourage and connect with another.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTKBEvd1H_KPyf1et5KuOhFBhy2t4is0OPL-lovDEcGYyBI3A7ndR_xyuWi5uQQRavf6BYih7AcHn50rsI-sO4Qh71R1uqA4CWp5NcsBjLpYqWmscBrkLjPudfphTP_ifylXBGCHZd3Q/s1600/10292141_10152226446918687_2589697093128614815_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="575" data-original-width="910" height="126" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwTKBEvd1H_KPyf1et5KuOhFBhy2t4is0OPL-lovDEcGYyBI3A7ndR_xyuWi5uQQRavf6BYih7AcHn50rsI-sO4Qh71R1uqA4CWp5NcsBjLpYqWmscBrkLjPudfphTP_ifylXBGCHZd3Q/s200/10292141_10152226446918687_2589697093128614815_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>I still am that only child, wanting to please my parents and whoever the authority figure is in my life. I still question if I do. But today, I see my calling … to walk the second mile in it's flowery path and the muck and mire. Mine is at Chick-fil-A and the simplicity of the community that surrounds me, and the family within my house walls. And today I feel a little closer to the One who has gone a million miles for and with me over and over again.<br />
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-3175646491934102692018-10-04T13:56:00.000-06:002018-10-04T14:09:07.749-06:00Jonah … Or Rather … KarenI have been laying low this week. I have noticed that a bitterness that has taken over my soul, and am wise enough to know that I shouldn't be around people and affect them with my negativeness. And I also know full well that there is only One who can remove such bitterness. So this week I have been seeking.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHgChcE0tPjckGxD4DF3V9n89UhyOmeaTMFAmFAL7BAsZ5GCGPvNLM6EiC3sCB0M1kvwwEeh5NZ05LVmbfbu8ex1wwWswqEcb6nf29RI7sJpm0Co4g_9NwkrFn-jyNOvq2EJ9IApyxBxY/s1600/20170902_172003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHgChcE0tPjckGxD4DF3V9n89UhyOmeaTMFAmFAL7BAsZ5GCGPvNLM6EiC3sCB0M1kvwwEeh5NZ05LVmbfbu8ex1wwWswqEcb6nf29RI7sJpm0Co4g_9NwkrFn-jyNOvq2EJ9IApyxBxY/s200/20170902_172003.jpg" width="150" /></a>My youngest came to me. She is struggling with a reoccurring area in her life. As she shared, I was able to discern that there was some lie she has bought into that she needs to shake off. I was able to discern because I was dealing with the same thing … different lie, but a lie. <br />
<br />
Today I felt a tug to enjoy a good story … Jonah. I have always prided myself that I would go wherever God would have me go. I'm a woman of obedience, but am I?<br />
<br />
God sent Jonah. He didn't want to go and ran. But even in his disobedience those around him came to recognize how great God is and gave to Him. God sent a giant fish to swallow Jonah and it was in the belly of the whale that Jonah knew there was only one who could save - and God did. Jonah went to Nineveh, and spoke over the city. Countless lives were changed as they turned from their evil ways and God had compassion on them. Jonah became angry because he knew what kind of a God he served and that the people didn't deserve such graciousness and love. Jonah went off to sulk. God provided a vine, which made Jonah happy and then God provided a worm to destroy it. Jonah was so miserable from the heat and wind that he just wanted to die, and God reminded Jonah of who He was.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChUhQTo2xEYLyvO61EUzbx_5UEaShilpdNw7Ek0QOUUmkNF7uuYAa8omFwNtYZxyMhVBhYueo2G64o4MN0UqaZrpa2dXdCgnlsXgIkpvKhrbxLyDmGAa_tkcjNmpP-eRaMmNSDAKhte0/s1600/IMG_1560.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjChUhQTo2xEYLyvO61EUzbx_5UEaShilpdNw7Ek0QOUUmkNF7uuYAa8omFwNtYZxyMhVBhYueo2G64o4MN0UqaZrpa2dXdCgnlsXgIkpvKhrbxLyDmGAa_tkcjNmpP-eRaMmNSDAKhte0/s320/IMG_1560.HEIC" width="240" /></a>God sent me from Colorado to California a little over three years ago. I didn't want to go, but I didn't run from it - at least physically. I obeyed - physically, but emotionally I wasn't going to forgive God for tearing our family apart. I resented Him. And for the last three years I have been in the belly of the whale … misery from bills, a dysfunctional house, unrest in relationships, health issues<br />
and lack of peace. I have finally recognized fully of the God that saves, and that can save me and this week God has spit me out …. in Concord, California. I can't say that countless lives have been changed because of where I have spoken over them, but I can say that I have developed countless relationships that have come out of the crevices of places these past couple of days. God has compassion on them, and I have the privilege of not only having these people in my lives but I get to pray over them too. God had compassion on them, as He has for me. I still have held onto that seed of bitterness and have sulked that God didn't quite understand the fullness of how He affected me. He provided a home that I have become accustomed to, and see so much potential in. And it was less than 24 hours ago, I questioned if we would still have it, as we were uncertain of Duane's employment once again. And it was in the conversation I had with my daughter, I am reminded of the God I have, and that He sees way more than I.<br />
<br />
Oh Jonah … Oh Karen!<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60rFbxM9NErIyya4FWbqnK9jO5wJgf12KmTNPZodlaTPUwXL9BX2ozLVngkHJv3b_Vwr_p-e0DIRemJKrTQJ7eIT6ozvBQZ6_ST4hgY_Y43yRcf9KMXiA5BXsjimxmf6lT8CyLznWkVY/s1600/IMG_1408.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi60rFbxM9NErIyya4FWbqnK9jO5wJgf12KmTNPZodlaTPUwXL9BX2ozLVngkHJv3b_Vwr_p-e0DIRemJKrTQJ7eIT6ozvBQZ6_ST4hgY_Y43yRcf9KMXiA5BXsjimxmf6lT8CyLznWkVY/s200/IMG_1408.HEIC" width="200" /></a>I read something yesterday; "interesting fact: people over the age of fifty will start to lose their dislike for foods that taste bitter". Now first let me let the world know … I'm not 50 yet! However, the warning is just the same. I remember my grandfather. He loved me. Yet, to be honest with my readers …. he was grumpy. He always had reason to be grumpy. He had an opinion about everything and judgment just the same. He had a the brow of anger, and the tone in his voice just the same. He lost his dislike for bitterness and it turned into a grumpy and a grouchy mess. And unfortunately he'll have that remembrance. I was heading toward the same direction. But was wise enough to see there was a taste I didn't want to get accustomed to …. and I sought the truth.<br />
<br />
I have believed a lie that "I get what I deserve". So with that lie, comes the thought … I deserve to be away from my babies. I deserve to have a broken family with miles apart. I deserve this disruption in my life. I deserve my lack of identity … because of another lie "I'm not good enough". I never realized until yesterday the depth of these lies and their hold on me. But enough is enough. God has allowed me to recognize and today I am set free. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AZEYVxhiIyx9DQI7hUsZpWqxHSTy1Azafcil35sEEn4OdWmlwMUY1J2Cs30upiCduSLXPYDrkr4nmpRrfYsaD4Nm3G6Mpo99MefohrQ56zsq6mFAvifkc4jWBUukjqon4YXEXyXsOzs/s1600/IMG_1669.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1596" data-original-width="1600" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3AZEYVxhiIyx9DQI7hUsZpWqxHSTy1Azafcil35sEEn4OdWmlwMUY1J2Cs30upiCduSLXPYDrkr4nmpRrfYsaD4Nm3G6Mpo99MefohrQ56zsq6mFAvifkc4jWBUukjqon4YXEXyXsOzs/s200/IMG_1669.JPG" width="200" /></a>It wasn't about the move to California. It wasn't about the goodness that God has displayed on me. It wasn't even about the lies that kept me bound. It was about me obeying God full heartily and full heartily trusting Him. Not just trusting Him with my babies, but trusting Him that He saw something more. Trusting Him that He will plant me and for me to be ready for whatever is to come my way. Trusting Him with ALL that I am and ALL that I have. Trusting Him with my identity. It was about God breaking me free. <br />
<br />
So today I sit in the solitude of our home, letting those things that are nagging attention to just wait. I hear the promises, truth and prayers of the music surround me and let it carry my spirit. And today I am ready to be unlike Jonah and just go full heartily. I expect the best because I have a God that wants the best for me and those that surround me and have my heartstrings. I serve a God who sets me free … and will set you free as well. <br />
<br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-52082670822753297882018-06-05T13:45:00.003-06:002018-06-05T13:46:21.235-06:00Not Your Normal Tuesday<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">The thief comes only to </span><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;">steal</b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><b>John 10:10</b></i></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="font-size: 16px;">It was another Monday in the Archibald house. Duane was coming out of a week off from work and entering the demands that just sat on his desk screaming louder as deadlines are approaching. Courtney was heading to the dermatologist again, and having another minor surgery to remove some early caught skin cancer. And me </i><i>…</i><i style="font-size: 16px;"> juggling Courtney's appointment in the midst of two jobs that were also desperate for my attention.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">I have enjoyed the life I live. I enjoy both jobs for different aspects. The core of one seems to match the core of me and it has been a perfect "marriage". However, others have taken advantage of this passion of mine and have destracted me with demands that aren't necessarily mine, nor mine to even take on. And the other is in the center of my community that I love so much and have much joy connecting with, and where I feel called. However, unappreciation and disrespect lie throughout, as well as </i><i>confusion</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i>I made a commitment late last year that would take some of my time this year. Honestly, I felt a hesitation, not </i></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i>recognizing where it was coming from, but still decided to say yes because in all my logic: "I had nothing on my plate". Now in hindsight, I believe that hesiation was the Holy Spirit, as He saw me coming into two jobs and life as I see now. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i>And now it is another Tuesday, following up after a fifteen hour Monday, without any breaks except the to and fro in the car, tired and exhausted and facing burnt out once again. And I searched my Bible knowing words in my spirit and this verse stands out.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">I always hear the first part</i><i>…</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">be on guard for the one who is coming after me in full force to destroy me. Yet I forget how he does it, through busyness and over commitments, and </i><i>distractions</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"> But today I rest on the second part of the verse. That Jesus came so I could not ony have life, but have it to the full. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">He has given me permission and has given me a gift </i><i>…</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"> life and embracing it to the fullness He has intended. Where He has given me this gift, I will find Him. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">Again, a lesson I haven't mastered</i><i>…</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">.but to live without saying yes to everything, but to say yes to him with a trust He knows what lies ahead. And accept the things He gives us to enjoy. It's ok to say no to things that keep us away from the things we love .. even if it seems silly to others (like my cats and bunnies).</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">I don't have to live with a plate so full that I miss the things that He has given to you to enjoy! Because when I miss the things He has given me, I am missing His heart and </i><span style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><i>ultimately Him. And I don't want to miss that!</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">So today I ponder </i><i>…</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"> what are the things I love in life? What are the things I want to embrace and fully live? My family - especially the ones who I share our home with. The love only a husband and wife share. I know quality time is my love language, if I am so busy how can I feel loved? Spending time with my parents is important to me too. My cats, bunnies and chickens give me peace and a stillness in my soul. Time to be in my home, cleaning it and fixing it up brings an ownership and a place of serenity. Going to the Farmer's market, eating God's goodness in the fresh vegetables and fruits. Feeding my family by my own hands is important to me as well. Going for walks or to the Y not only for the excercize of it all but just to clear my mind and fill it with His. And even naps! To experience rest, and in His craddled arms. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">I have been carrying guilt that I haven't had much time with God, and believed that God wanted me to carve out more time with Him. He does. But it doesn't have to be kneeled before Him for so many hours, or even with an open Bible to get so many chapters behind me. Today is one verse. And today I see that the gift of life is full because of Him, and all the gifts He brings and to be embraced so you can experience Him.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">So today is not going to be another Tuesday, but today I will take the time to ponder and shift my full plate around. I'm going to have to get rid of some things. And put bigger helpings of the things of life that I enjoy so I can have the strength to do the things He has called me to. Today I will embrace</i><i>…</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(76, 17, 48);">and as I live life to the fullest, I will be thankful to the One who is the center of it all. And I will celebrate Him today - and the life He gave.</i></span><br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-63032564101981594602018-04-28T18:19:00.000-06:002018-04-28T18:20:44.882-06:00Facing Your Fears - Part 1<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="color: #20124d;">1 Samuel 17</span></i></b></div>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Today finally was the day. The day I dreaded. I was sick yesterday and even hoped it would carry through to today, but it didn't. Today was the day I was facing my biggest giant yet.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">When I was a child, I was learning how to do something and in the process I made a mistake. My instructor ran out of patience with me … can't blame them, as I'm not the easiest to teach, but still words hurt, the anger turned to be a lie of how stupid I was. It was that day I said I would never do that task ever again.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I signed up for a class a couple of months ago. I have been fearful, but had hid behind the grace of time. And during the time I prepared myself by going to some quick lessons. I look forward to the outcome as to what I am going to learn, but I was not looking forward to the actual process.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I came across my very first obstacle earlier this week, and it took some time to work it through, but I found someone to help. But as I went to practice this morning before class the obstacle returned. And that is when I had my tantrum. Through the anguish, as I through my hands in the air and let the tears come out, I realized how big the giant was that I was going to face.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">As I threw myself against the wall and speaking all the words I believed as a child, I knew God was walking me through a life lesson that in the weeks to come I will accomplish.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">We hear in church how fear is a liar. We sing about it, and it has become truth. We are taught to face our fears. The cowards, like the Israelites, don't face them at all and let the giants torment them constantly twice a day (1 Sam 17:16). And we are taught that once we face our fear, they have no control over us and we can be victorious and move on. When we are told this over and over again, it seems it is almost instantaneous.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Yet God is showing me it's a process. And it's the process that is the key.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">There is a preparation that comes with the actual battle. I mentioned that I had some lessons. And I also did some practicing. I needed more of these, but still I prepared. So did David (1 Sam 17:34-37).</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">We say it takes a village to raise a child, well it still takes a village to come around us to conquer our fears. I noticed that I had my Mom who equipped me with tools for the trade and a team of people to train me. David had his dad … his dad sent him to the fields (1 Sam 17:15, 17-18). </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I woke my daughter up in the wee hours of the morning, full of tears and pleaded for what knowledge she had to help me with the first obstacle I was to face. David's first obstacle was his brother (1 Sam 17:28). Like I have taught my girls, our words can bless or curse. Either way, what comes out of our mouths can not be taken back…so we are to chose wisely. I'm thankful my daughter chose to bless. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I had my husband, who rushed in after my tantrum, laid his hand upon my shoulders as I sobbed into the wall, stood there beside me as I tackled the obstacle once again. I knew he meant well, but the pressure and deadline that was quickly approaching I needed him to go so I wouldn't say anything I would regret. And it was me being sent, not him this time. However, I knew full well he was praying me on, and I know full well he knew exactly how big the giant I was getting ready to face was. And like Saul said to David, I knew as we parted ways this morning as I went to battle, Duane was there praying "may the Lord be with you", 1 Sam 17:17.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Driving, is my best time with the Lord. My mind was focused on what was ahead, but my ears heard the worship music, and my heart was instantly with God. Words like: </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d;">"Though the devil try to break me, my sweet Jesus won't forsake me, when I'm in my Savior's shadow, where I'm supposed to be"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d;"> "I have won, and I have lost, got it right sometimes and sometimes I did not, life has been a journey, I've seen joy and I've seen regret, Oh and you have been my God through all of it"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d;"> "God sent His son, they called Him Jesus. He came to love, heal and forgive. He lived and died to buy my pardon. An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone, because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives". </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #20124d;">I was entering the battle field, but I wasn't entering it alone and I experienced the value of worship. David knew this fact too (1 Sam 17:45).</span></div>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I was just a freckled face, long haired little girl with knobby knees and without much to offer. I was tackled that day by fear, chained by it for many years that followed. Today, I still see the same little freckled face little girl…hair a little shorter, and knees not as knobby … but feeling so small, just the same. I entered the first round on the battlefield. I came out bruised, shattered and teary eyed … BUT I'm still living. I remembered who I was, with the help of my husband and worship … and David knew who he was (1 Sam 17: 45-47). But more importantly I'm reminded it's me heading out to the battlefield … but the battle is not mine, it's the Lords! (1 Sam 17:47)</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I knew today wasn't the day for it to be conquered as there are a few weeks left, but I also knew God was teaching me how to face my fear and I was to remember.</span><br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-3376601080654960432018-01-23T17:40:00.000-07:002018-01-23T17:40:54.329-07:00Embrace The Moments<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>"You don't know what you are asking,"</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Mark 10:38a</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'"</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Luke 23:34a</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>I have mentioned to you the place I have been in … loneliness I am now calling friend, which brings depression and sadness at times. However, today I have seen the life around me … the housework that is begging for me to embrace and the little "to do"s that are on my list. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>I haven't had much motivation. However, I have learned to embrace the season I am in. But today I </i><b style="font-style: italic;"><u>really</u></b><i> embracing it. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTj3b-tguHGGByom5BrAUuhS3q8BagQYjXWlCZ1FAqp1tR9oo9z0TOo3FmCjeCMAQFBsvHqNLxxQPVVoW3djXkvb0wK8zlV5zQgHjOKORPN2XBjnwy4l6uIom62NF9VGBAEx8Xt39zbQ/s1600/IMG_0900.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTj3b-tguHGGByom5BrAUuhS3q8BagQYjXWlCZ1FAqp1tR9oo9z0TOo3FmCjeCMAQFBsvHqNLxxQPVVoW3djXkvb0wK8zlV5zQgHjOKORPN2XBjnwy4l6uIom62NF9VGBAEx8Xt39zbQ/s200/IMG_0900.HEIC" width="150" /></a><i>We live downtown in a city … BART is walkable, the grocery store is down the street and we are just a 10 minute walk to the center of town where the Farmer's market comes each week, the smells of many restaurants grab our attention, we can catch the newest release at the local theater, and shopping is at our fingertips. We are a hop, skip and a jump from the on ramp to the freeway. Life and it's busyness is all around us. And yet … our little corner of the world seems to be a little country … critters and eggs to gather, a white fence and a gravel driveway, a little land to develop and a Ford truck. It seems God has intertwined the country girl in me in the midst of city life. And it works!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>I have been searching for a job. And I'm at that stage of life, I don't just want a job .. but something I can make a difference in, something I can have passion for and something I can believe in. So looking for something just doesn't come easy … after all, God has always brought all of my jobs to me. So yesterday, I let it go into God's hands and I have now embraced peace.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOAQj_mfLg4nEFB7tZtAL0K8JYxsMuGrbkSE8Va2nlztq8-LVK_UTyb7NW3ENJ4odefDY-W_VM997S04BKX-KkBGuFTKV1eUVoQcTyoFPAxTz9XhcRO9OCiYo0H1Tx-EagXNRsEwG0iqU/s1600/IMG_0898.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1203" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOAQj_mfLg4nEFB7tZtAL0K8JYxsMuGrbkSE8Va2nlztq8-LVK_UTyb7NW3ENJ4odefDY-W_VM997S04BKX-KkBGuFTKV1eUVoQcTyoFPAxTz9XhcRO9OCiYo0H1Tx-EagXNRsEwG0iqU/s200/IMG_0898.HEIC" width="150" /></a><i>But today …. I haven't done much. But what I have done is been reachable to the daughter who is trying to make her own decisions and share her frustrations. A new little "critter" has come to stay .. and I was able to teach him how to explore his mansion we built for him. My cat has been exceptionally social with me today .. giving, protective and loving, as if to say how thankful she is that I'm just around. Creations have been started for my husband's birthday. I'm home much more, so I am able to let the chickens out of their pen and spoil them with conversation and snacks and in return they have been very generous with their egg laying. My husband may not walk in to a home cook meal, but he does walk in to a home full of peace. I have labeled my not getting things done as laziness … but I just now have seen them as embracing my moments and the life I am in. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzmdToCZ0-tdR9p4a64xeJdM_OJFBStQ40mLh_mM94v0yo1kOgRwBSNb6vcOe0S5cBZHoZKh-GV02xdKwwTzUWPkFySH4CCtd6471sp5qCruglqp0nEUpZCO9S0X9st526g4g0pOosgY/s1600/IMG_0891.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzmdToCZ0-tdR9p4a64xeJdM_OJFBStQ40mLh_mM94v0yo1kOgRwBSNb6vcOe0S5cBZHoZKh-GV02xdKwwTzUWPkFySH4CCtd6471sp5qCruglqp0nEUpZCO9S0X9st526g4g0pOosgY/s200/IMG_0891.HEIC" width="150" /></a><i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>I pondered the above verses in my head. I know they are out of context … however, for me, it goes to show that God knows more than I. I think I want a job, then He shows me to wait, be still, and embrace the moments I am in. Now I think I don't want a job. It is fair to make the observation "I don't know what I am asking" … because I don't know what to ask. However, I do know I want to be in His will. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgao5dc-SOVA9mruiQEPWbWPNIogKxf9Xdj0BKddHFQ49VK0LUinlYdArGILcqGgKWrxJ-RSsUo2jXqJ45uGAGPRzCD88bPeRhikqddNqs5Xke7w5I28DEPZsAKnP-5CeJfGhsg9tZFJC8/s1600/IMG_0874.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgao5dc-SOVA9mruiQEPWbWPNIogKxf9Xdj0BKddHFQ49VK0LUinlYdArGILcqGgKWrxJ-RSsUo2jXqJ45uGAGPRzCD88bPeRhikqddNqs5Xke7w5I28DEPZsAKnP-5CeJfGhsg9tZFJC8/s200/IMG_0874.HEIC" width="150" /></a><i>I am thankful that Jesus, in his final breath asked for forgiveness for this very season I am in … of not knowing what I am doing. Because Lord knows, I have been so angry, so condemning, so lost that I needed every ounce of forgiveness I could receive. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>So I will wait. I will embrace. I will enjoy the critters that surround me. I will be thankful for the joy they bring, and see that God has allowed me to be me in the midst of it all. And I will embrace the season I am in. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Loneliness is not my friend … Embrace is. And through embrace I have found peace and comfort. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>God I am thankful for You, and how You have been speaking to my heart!</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-22902221658329417342018-01-19T13:42:00.000-07:002018-01-19T13:42:15.532-07:00The Missing Puzzle Piece<i><span style="color: #20124d;">My daughter loves puzzles. Ha! So do the cats! Thus the reason she can't get her big 9000 peice puzzle out, or the cats will have ever piece under the couches, chewed on or just all over the place. Sometimes we end of with one piece of a puzzle in another's box … or I'll just find a loose piece that got missed getting in the box.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I feel like that missing puzzle piece. I feel like I am a step behind and just gets forgotten to get in with all the rest or I just don't fit in.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Perhaps it's my age and all that's on our plate. I never felt old until this winter. I injured my foot six weeks ago and I still have a lot of pain. Doctors can't seem to do anything, so I continue with my chiropractic care which is helping … just not fixed. I'm used to getting injured and being healed in a matter of a few days. And then this year with all the illness' that are going around. First I got bronchitis and then the flew. I'm still not 100% better. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Finances are a bit out of control in our household. We are getting caught up like everyone else from the holidays, and trying to save what we can for an upcoming wedding. We also have medical bills from an ending of a hard 2017. Normal stuff … nothing unusual. I mean other family's have it much worse. But I like things just so, and they aren't.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Our marriage is like everyone else. Duane works, comes home tired and then puts what energy he has into the house. We have spent a lot of money in our past in counseling and we know our strengths and weaknesses and how to meet the other's needs. But yet we stick to our stubborn ways and focus in the worlds we see and currently aren't meeting one another. We are strangers. I'm not worried about our marriage, because we always come back together again. It's a normal thing … normal. Yet, again, I like things just so and they aren't. I really love my husband and think the world of him. I need him now more than ever. I need to know the extra weight, the starts of grey hairs aren't an issue with him. And I need to know that he isn't going to reject me like the rest of the world. Insecurity is still an issue at forty something.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">My faith. I have it. I'm not hearing a lot from God latley. I figured He is seeing how I don't fit in like I do … and doesn't want to talk. But then I remember the God I have, and that isn't His character and figure it is me that isn't doing what I'm suppose to be doing to hear. I'm not positioning myself in the right manner, or I haven't sought forgiveness for the thoughts and feelings I have. I don't know. I'm sure it's me…somehow it's me. Perhaps I need to repent again. However, I feel like I'll ever get to talk with him because there is so much to repent of. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I have stepped down from a job that I was so on fire for - well, the roots of the foundation, the heart of the founder. But I can't seem to find those roots and the heart at the store I was at, and there was so much drama, and the fact in got in the way of my family I chose to leave. I listened to my husband and my mom and I chose to step away. Now I'm looking for a job that fits our life, and I am starting to take it personal that no one wants a forty something woman. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">When we lived in Colorado there were so many times I wished we were back "home" in California. I missed my friends and the friendliness of California. Now we're here for the past two and a half years and the only thing we have going for us is the closeness of my parents and the possibilities in our new church. I wish we lived back in Colorado now just so I can have our whole family together … and maybe my husband wouldn't be so absorbed with his work and commute and he'd have time for me and remember how to meet my needs. And I would remember how to meet his. I also know now California's relationships have come to a close. My friends have their own lives, and they have moved on without me and I without them. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">On top of it all. I have a birth father who sent a Christmas card wanting a "slow relationship". He's in his seventies … I'm in my forties. I don't think you can get much slower. He has come and gone, and I've seen him a handful of times. I'm nice, and I give him my phone numbers. Yet here we're approaching the end of the month and not one call. I hold my breath each time the phone rings. And truthfully … I have forgiven him, and have been thankful things have ended up the way they did because I have the best dad in the world. I don't need a relationship with him, but am willing to help him out. Yet … I already feel rejected. Again. I don't think I could deal with his rejection once more. Abandonement. It brings so much baggage. Not feeling good enough is the biggest fight I have dealt with all my life. Once I think I have conquered it, the lie is there to taunt me all over again. I know God says I am good enough and He had created me for a purpose and a plan … but people hurt his creation.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">And home. My house is a mess and I know how to fix that! Yet I don't. Maybe it's the lack of energy from being so sick. Maybe it's the emotional baggage of missing the closeness of my husband and not being good enough for my father. But my girls seem to remind me that I am able to clean up after their messes … yet I chose more for my life. I should be honored, but I'm not. I want to be looked at as more. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">My last post was titled "Let's Be Real" … perhaps this one should have been. Life sucks sometimes and right now it does. I feel lost. Alone. Forgotten.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I need God to find me and put me on the path He has for me. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I'm waiting.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d;">Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-size: x-small;"><b>1 Thessalonians 5:16-18</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #20124d; font-size: x-small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><i>And even though life sucks right now … I will pray - again. I will rejoice for everything is good. And I will give thanks.</i></span><br />
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-10281415278247391682018-01-16T13:06:00.002-07:002018-01-16T13:06:56.043-07:00Let's Be Real...<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have opened this blog … set up a new blog … posted a couple of times… come back to this blog….open it… and nothing. I love to write. I love to share my thoughts on paper. But nothing! I have nothing to write!</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I started this blog, we had moved to Colorado from California and this was a great place to write all the family adventures and all my "ah-ha" moments and share them with those who are now a far. Now we have returned back to California and you would think I'll write all about our family adventures and all my "ah-ha" moments and now share with those who are on the other side. But …</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have believed I have NOTHING to say. And for the most part, that is true. However there are so many thoughts, hurts and moments I have had that I have shared with my husband, yet didn't think anyone would care to hear about them. Then I realized God whispered in my ear to start getting vulnerable and "get real".</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now I have focus and now I have much to say … you may be sorry. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I look at this blog and I see the adventures of trying to adopt, trying to raise three girls, our pets, and my spiritual life. It seems that when we moved back to California, I packed with me "I'm done" and "I'm not needed anymore". My family has seen it near me, and even me calling it by name, and the deny it and try to push it out with the trash. But I continue and bring it in the house.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And for the past two and a half years I have entertained this extra baggage. Until this week.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You are going to be hearing about the adventures of a forty something woman and what life looks like in my eyes. I feel like the years I am in are "forgotten" years. I don't have children in school, so the younger generation thinks I don't get what they are going through and I can't relate to their situation. I don't have grand children … so I'm not in that special club, and not even worthy enough to talk to them. I have been snubbed off so many times because when I was working, I didn't fit in with the "non working women" and now that I don't work I don't fit in with the "working women" and the nonworking women have seemed to disappear. I have been isolated and alone … and now I have fought through it to be able to recognize it and speak about it.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am in what I call the sandwich generation … I still have to take care of my children (in a totally different way) and now I check in with my parents each week and take care of them. Healing has taken place, and a different kind of connection has taken place with each of my family members. It didn't come natural at first, but now I embrace it. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However, the world isn't kind. It's always been a hard world, but boy … has it been rough. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is no intention of being whiny, but there is every intention to be aware and make the world I see a bit softer and much more colorful. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome back to my blog!</span></i>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-46239056278228701332017-09-25T13:03:00.000-06:002018-01-16T13:04:32.531-07:00Moments In The Grocery StoreIt was moments after the previous post that I started out on my day … ready or not. But that day was different. It was a day I was going to search, but yet "be still and know He is God".<br />
<br />
I had a list that seemed a mile long of things to accomplish. And with my family's help, kitchen cleaning was added to it. And thanks to jet lag, my day started off early which made the "to do" list get accomplished faster.<br />
<br />
I was at the store. I ran into someone I knew. And I discovered something about me … I didn't know what to say, I had difficulty maintaining the conversation … something that is <b><i>NOT</i></b> me. But yet again…if it was someone different, would it be easier. Perhaps. Probably. It didn't help that it was someone that was part of a family that I was deeply close to. I was being guarded.<br />
<br />
Unforgiveness showed it's self once again. You see it was only two years ago we transitioned back to our home town. I expected to be welcomed and cared for by so many, especially by this particular family. And not only have we not been welcomed, but we feel forgotten and unloved by this family. I has hurt, and I felt judged by prior issues that took place before our move. I hadn't gotten over it all. They were our extended family, people I have admired and chosen to be like, and people I deeply loved (which I have a hard time doing). But that's it … they are people. People who fall short, people with their inperfections and mistakes … people, just like me.<br />
<br />
God showed me I need to let go of hurt and forgive those who offended me so I may be part of what is next to come fully. There isn't any room for His plans and Him if I'm holding onto stuff that isn't of Him. I must forgive. Today, I chose to forgive.<br />
<br />
The next aisle over an elderly man asked me where he could find the salt. We walked over to and then which one should he get. We talked, we laughed and I was able to encourage.<br />
<br />
I may not know the direction I am going … but I do know, I must master forgiveness so there is more in the journey ahead. .<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="background-color: white;"> “</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Be</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">still</span><span style="background-color: white;">, </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">and</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">know</span><span style="background-color: white;"> that </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">am</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">God</span><span style="background-color: white;">; </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I</span><span style="background-color: white;"> will </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">be</span><span style="background-color: white;"> exalted </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">am</span><span style="background-color: white;">ong the nations, </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">I</span><span style="background-color: white;"> will </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">be</span><span style="background-color: white;"> exalted </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">i</span><span style="background-color: white;">n the earth.” <b>Psalm 46:10</b></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: start;">Be</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;">ar with each other and </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: start;">forgive</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"> one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: start;">Forgive</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"> as the Lord forgave you. <b>Colossians 3:13</b></span></i></span></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-85809137489356985852017-09-22T12:59:00.000-06:002018-01-16T13:03:08.811-07:00So Here We Go … I don't know why I am doing this, another blog. I mean I have another, and who is going to read this blog anyway. But I felt prompted by God to do it. Who knows, perhaps it is just to see God use me and grow me. I'm one of those tangible, hand's on learners and I must see evidence and be reminded of it from time to time. And this is a bit of a journal for me to turn to from time to time. And perhaps starting another blog, is just where I'm at in life … starting with a blank slate, no history and an unknown of where it is going to go.<br />
<br />
It's been not a full 48 hours since my husband and I walked back into our home from a trip to Italy. A trip of a lifetime, and I knew that when I walked into the house from that trip everything was about to change for me.<br />
<br />
See I had been working, and my last day was just before we left for Italy. It was something I had to do, something that God was directing my husband and I to do. We both don't understand it, but taking a step out on faith. We already see some positives coming out of it. But let's face it … what am I to do now?<br />
<br />
I woke at 2:30 this morning, partly because of jet lag, but another part because my husband was heading back to work and I was faced with "Now What?". My mind going rapid, my heart questioning everything, and another part of it not wanting my husband to go. Perhaps some fear is hiding around the corner, but I trust God is about to do something crazy, and I'm in it for the ride.<br />
<br />
Walking through the streets of Rome, something set a fire in me. My faith was a bit "bored", if you will. Picking up the Bible was something that didn't drive me as much as it did, other than finding a verse or two from time to time. But knowing Paul's heart to go to Rome and preach the gospel came alive for me. Seeing the vendors outside the temples, and the corruption stirred something within, and understanding the anger of Jesus when he upturned the tables became alive. There's more to going to church, more to even just knowing the scriptures … but a deep relationship with Jesus is what brings joy, hope and love. And that frankly is what our world needs to know.<br />
<br />
God is bringing me close to Him and to use me, and this is the First Day of the Rest of my Life to surrender and allow him to do just that. I just don't know how He can use someone like me. And yes, there is a little doubt when making that statement … after all, I'm a 40 something woman, uneducated (at least in the college field), a wife and mom of three young, beautiful, strong young women. The world says that I'm not qualified, but have you ever had that excitement, like the night before Christmas, and a knowing in your spirit that something is about to happen? That's exactly how I feel right now.<br />
<br />
I have waken with the inability to move, and a few kinks in my body because I'm a crazy cat lady and the three cats we have missed us something fierce and won't literally leave my side. And as crazy of a cat lady I am, I know the rest of my life will be partly with them. They bring me calmness, peace and joy. But I also know looking at them, the rabbit and chickens we have there is even more to this life. But I also know as I look at them there is a simpleness I embrace, and God is there within.<br />
<br />
I have a love for the kitchen. Not the cleaning part, but the cooking and creating part and especially the serving to those who come around the table part. I love how the comfort of food can bring the family and friends together. How conversations and hearts are shared over the creations that come from the kitchen. I love that each of my girls also show passion in this area and we can draw together even more. I have always had this passion, but it took it's back burner as I went into the working world, but it is the one thing that I am utmost excited about getting into. And I'm 100% positive that cooking is part of the Rest of my Life. And I'm almost certain God is going to be using this passion for whatever He has next.<br />
<br />
So that's it. I have no clue as to what is next for me, I'm a simple homemaker, who is still searching as to what purpose I have for the Rest of my Life, and I'm allowing you, whoever you might be, to come along side with me, and perhaps even take this adventure together.Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0Concord, CA, USA37.9779776 -122.031073337.877841100000005 -122.1924348 38.0781141 -121.8697118tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-7724446009981957932017-08-24T13:31:00.002-06:002017-08-24T19:14:38.533-06:00Through Loss … I see I Have Gained!<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I had a huge scare that started this past Tuesday. Some of you it is no big deal … but to me it was HUGE.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I lost my Bible.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I am a woman of routine and I looked through all the spots that it could have been and then all the spots that it would more likely not be. </span></i><i><span style="color: #20124d;">We were in a rental car this week, and I had my husband search the car. It wasn't there. Then as any woman would do, I went to look through it … even twice, and even a third. It wasn't there. It</span></i><i><span style="color: #20124d;"> was officially lost.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I had it Sunday. We had an event at church where 26 people were baptized! We had a celebration, and had lunch at the church. Could I have left it there? Possibly. But I thought I remembered carrying it throughout. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">We just started attending this church a little over a month ago. We have been in a season of Lack - connection, identity and even it began to pull on our hope and caused hurt and pain (that we are still working through). I began to question if God even cared where we worshipped. It has always been laid on our heart to be part of our own community. I can't explain it, but the pull on our heart is GREAT. We know with all our being that this was put on our heart by God himself. This church is walkable, and I can't explain how surprised we are to find exactly what we have been looking for - and in our backyard! </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I remembered a few months ago, that my Bible was collecting a bit of dust (at least in my eyes). Yes, it would be picked up for church and I would fumble through the pages in the sermon. I would even pick it up on occasion to find a verse that was in my mind. But the actually reading of the Book, I just was too tired to do so, and was frankly a bit bored with it. When I realized this attitude that was within me, I prayed that my hearts desire would change and I would long for my Bible again.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Ever since we moved I have longed for an in depth Bible study. I would find women's get togethers but not a study like I had longed for. I was even willing to lead one if that is what it took … but then the issue would be "who would come". Hopelessness started to wear it's toll on my heart in this area, and I started to just accept how we have to make the church more inviting and "friendly" to woman and connect differently. I accepted it, but missed my studies where God became real and even more powerful that I have known Him to be. I never prayed about it. I guess I figured God knew what He was doing and it was time for an "update" for my longings in the area of a women's study.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Courtney came to me and asked if I would do a Bible study with her. She wanted to learn more about the pages she was reading, and understand its meaning. My heart soared. I borrowed a Beth Moore study from the church we were going to, and we have been in the word ever since. I have been doing bits and pieces of my study and work, and when I'm looking up my scriptures I use my app on my phone. But Tuesday night I wanted to open the actual pages, hear the crinkle of them when I turn them, smell the pages, read the gazillion notes and perhaps even add to them. But it was no where to be found.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">Wednesday morning on my way to work, I stopped by the church that was still unfamiliar to me. I greeted those who greeted me with a smile, and asked if my Bible was found. After giving a description and us looking at all the possibilities it was just not to be found. My heart just sank. But I was invited to cooperate prayer that evening … I mean it was a genuine invite. And it was refreshing to receive.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I arrived to work, and this particular day I was my happy self, but just deeply saddened inside. I never knew how attached I had become to this Book. I remembered the dates of dedications and baptisms that were in there. I thought back and realized that this was my very first study Bible that my husband helped me pick out. It has to be 25 years old. That means there are 25 years of notes in the margins and highlighted verses. I might not know what my Bible references are, but I knew where to find them on the page in my Bible. There were ripped pages, and tear stained pages. It is this Bible that I would read scriptures that would leap of the page at me, and help me realize that the God I have is a loving, gracious companion and has everything under control. This Book brought me hope in the times when I felt hopeless, encouragement when I was down, and offered prayers when I didn't know what to say. I found many answers in this Book. I also took it for granted.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I realized yesterday my Bible had become more to me than I ever imagined. My Bible had become a long time friend. My Bible was my lifeline. And now it was lost.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">I had even prayed that I was willing to let it go, if it would make another's life richer. But my heart still broke within.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">With all the demands of work and errands, I still felt prompted to go to prayer. I didn't understand why I was prompted, and even questioned if I heard the prompting right. Afterwords, I saw someone I knew and I told her that I was a bit down as I had lost my Bible. She helped me look one more time. The usual places. And I saw some people that had smiles on and hearts of warmth and would greet me in my search. Genuine people. Happy people. I even ran into the pastors, and they would keep their eyes out, and gave me encouragement - except when they were empathetic, which only made me realize more of what I was missing. Upon my leaving, another pastor came in our path, and the lady mentioned about the loss of my Bible. He had saw it. He picked up something that wasn't it, and my heart sank even lower - and he looked in an unusual spot … and then handed me my Bible! I hugged him, as I hugged my Bible. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">This morning I look at my Bible and know the comfort and strength I have because it is near to me, and I have it available to go to. Yes, I could have used the other Bibles in the house, but they weren't enough for me. This Bible and me go way back and we have taken many journeys through valleys and mountain tops together. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">It was through this journey that I realized God hears my deepest prayers, the prayers that I would call even the silliest prayers. God made me long for my Bible and made me see the value within the pages and made me see even the value I have with Him through these pages. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #20124d;">And within the last 48 hours I have seen that God has answered the deep cries of my heart. There are crevices that I would cover, thinking they weren't necessary to bring to God. But God has shown me through Bible study, through a new church, and the journey to recover my Bible He cares about the little stuff and the spiritual walk we are on. I'm so thankful He does!</span></i>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-68405447068617301772017-06-15T13:49:00.000-06:002017-06-15T14:15:13.942-06:00It's Time To Get OUT Of That Couch!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLH_XVGjKywtoTUHm2yGCB9zPJBjseLOvQ02hRUVmWqUJ7_fND0D6e5rz74O3YvUBlkLDmk2nfM8iYG338tCm83vqywOWH3S6vPMjzh8oFsXT7ZOa1kYNrLjKc3ygo-UubN2Ar283LJ8/s1600/16819311_10154535579938687_8895672439879773524_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1181" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLH_XVGjKywtoTUHm2yGCB9zPJBjseLOvQ02hRUVmWqUJ7_fND0D6e5rz74O3YvUBlkLDmk2nfM8iYG338tCm83vqywOWH3S6vPMjzh8oFsXT7ZOa1kYNrLjKc3ygo-UubN2Ar283LJ8/s320/16819311_10154535579938687_8895672439879773524_o.jpg" width="292" /></a>We have three cats. Mine, Courtney's and Katie's. When we moved to Colorado, it was the same time Katie was moving into CSU…dorm living, which meant her cat had to remain with us. Zelda (Katie's cat) didn't have a person anymore. My heart bent toward her, and I felt sorry for her having to not only transition the 1200 miles drive but without a person. We became close and she became used to living under my favor. <br />
<br />
The cats get a long for the most part, there are times when they let each other know they want to be left alone or they just don't want to play. Over the past couple of years, Zelda had been claiming me and my cat (Zoe) didn't accept that well, and at times has made it clear to Zelda that I'm hers. <br />
<br />
The past few months. Zelda has come out of her shell and become the cat she is. She is comfortable to roam around and do what she wants … even if the other cats are annoyed with her. It's actually a good thing to see. We have seen her live in freedom of being who she is and freedom of living under our favor. It has brought me great joy to watch her scamper around, or cuddle near me.<br />
<br />
Until.<br />
<br />
Katie moved back home a couple of weeks ago. She brought a cat with her. A cat that is still young and wants to play all the time….rough and tumble kind of play. It is the size of Zelda. And to make matters worse, it's a boy. We have been living in a house full of hissing and scolding. The water bottle is always near by to remind the new cat that he has to be nice to the other cats. My cat knows her place, and walks around comfortably because she knows she has the authority to put the new cat in his place if necessary. She walks in her authority and her confidence. Courtney's cat doesn't like this new cat. And she'll let out a blood curdling cry when the cat is even near her, and is constantly hissing at him. She will go to where she wants to, skittishly, but still knows this is her home and she belongs here and knows she is loved. She walks in love and the a knowing of what is hers.<br />
<br />
And then there is Zelda.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD_RkjZCZ6JGf78yxdl5Blfthl7qn2gdgQyGm32GHPoLMSk-f3EAPEVUQrwXgvWRYXrgw-CxNg18bpkd1fPJv-eISoXSrAN8gMfocvZVmgvvfRSlRiJ8fIlRW9J5-3JngyG77qCM9hKok/s1600/20170615_113256.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD_RkjZCZ6JGf78yxdl5Blfthl7qn2gdgQyGm32GHPoLMSk-f3EAPEVUQrwXgvWRYXrgw-CxNg18bpkd1fPJv-eISoXSrAN8gMfocvZVmgvvfRSlRiJ8fIlRW9J5-3JngyG77qCM9hKok/s320/20170615_113256.jpg" width="320" /></a>We haven't seen much of Zelda the past couple of weeks. I'll get her in our room at night and she'll come up on my bed in the morning (not during the night, as she used to). She still comes out for her breakfast, but will hide shortly after and not eat for the rest of the day. She has lost weight. I have discovered where she has been hiding. She has taken the bottom fabric that is on the bottom of the couch off and has been living <b><i>inside </i></b>our couch. When I dig her out of the couch and grab a hold of her, she clutches on with her claws in my shoulder as she watches to make sure the other cat isn't around. And to make matters worse she will have accidents because she has to walk across the house to the cat box and possibly be seen by the new cat. She walks in fear. <br />
<br />
The other day I pulled her out from her hiding and put a lot of love into her. I looked at her and said "Don't you know, all of this is yours? Not his, but yours? This is your home, you are ours, not him. You have authority over him and you walk in favor. You can walk away from your fear and walk in much confidence of who you are and that you are ours. You have been given much."<br />
<br />
Just as I said those words … I felt God tug at me "I've been saying the same to you". <br />
<br />
Then I searched my life lately.<br />
<br />
I haven't been happy because of a situation I am in. I have been trying to make the right choice, but question God's will in it constantly. I have been living in confusion as I am not completely sure as to the direction God has me to go. But it comes down to fear. Fear has gripped me hard. I just didn't know I was living in it.<br />
<br />
So I searched my heart. I'm afraid of making our comfortable lifestyle not so comfortable. I'm afraid of putting the full weight on my husband and stressing him out and what that could result in. I'm really afraid of not making the right choice. I'm afraid of not pleasing God, my Father. I'm afraid of how others judge me. I'm afraid of confronting the person I will need to do. I'm afraid of the guilt and manipulation that will come my way. I'm afraid of being wrong. I'm afraid of letting something go that I have loved for so long. I'm afraid of the impact it could create on the trips that are planned this year. I'm deeply afraid ...<br />
<br />
So I run and hide. I am hiding in my fear and allowing the fear to run its course on me. I'm not living comfortably now because I'm not living at all. I'm putting my full weight upon my husband now as I'm constantly seeking and asking his advice, then doubting he is fully understanding and knowing what circumstances could come our way. And it's causing friction<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>between us. I'm already not pleasing God because I'm not doing as he wants, and letting fear be my God. I'm letting others control me and hurt me. And the person I am afraid to confront is controlling me now and coming into our household in an unhealthy manner. I'm walking in the wrong direction now. And I'm holding onto something that isn't mine to hold onto anymore. And to top it all off, I'm not trusting in God to come and take care of all the details He wants to do. <br />
<br />
Where have I gone wrong? <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilE79IbyIeOYmlTpElgz95Pzn1jvXFst8XPwK8gn9owcZTXBZB8K9TLc404GQXraHi2rzRk1UQeOncf02_m16T3syK4NuZI76I3RZOwuKyYAiZCVFuCcu0-gOrSK4qfd1a4UAxgN0BsnY/s1600/44.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="528" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilE79IbyIeOYmlTpElgz95Pzn1jvXFst8XPwK8gn9owcZTXBZB8K9TLc404GQXraHi2rzRk1UQeOncf02_m16T3syK4NuZI76I3RZOwuKyYAiZCVFuCcu0-gOrSK4qfd1a4UAxgN0BsnY/s320/44.jpg" width="176" /></a>I have forgotten <i><b>who</b></i> I belong to. I have forgotten who He is and what He is able to do. I forgot that He has given me much and can walk comfortably in his favor. I have forgotten that he has given <b><i>me</i></b> authority. I have cowered down to fear and surrendered who I am and all that I have to it. Life has been miserable, joy is absent, yet grumbling and complaining are constant. And to make it worse, I have affected everyone who is around me. I have been disobedient. <br />
<br />
I need to be like the other cats. I need to walk in authority and confidence of who I am and who I belong to. I need to walk in the love I know God has for me and a knowing of what is mine.<br />
<br />
It's time to walk in truth. It's time to face my fears and knock these giants down. And it is time to surrender to the One who knows me, the One that loves me and finds favor with me, and the One that says I am still His. <br />
<br />
It's time.<br />
<br />
And since it is my time … Zelda it is your time too. We can do this together!Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-30152641697871983462017-05-24T11:40:00.001-06:002017-05-24T11:40:18.848-06:00Through The Storms Of LifeI flew back to Colorado to get my daughter and bring her home. We rented a vehicle to drive back with all her things. You can never predict the weather in Colorado or Wyoming, so it is always an adventure and you never know what you are in for.<br />
<br />
As we were driving, we left the comforts of the 70 degree weather, with blue skies and puffy white clouds and went into the mountains to be greeted by snow, still with blue skies and puffy white clouds. As we continued, we could see ahead the clouds where clearly a storm was ahead, where the darkness of the sky met the earth and you couldn't distinguish the separation of the two. As we continued the storm became darker and scarier. The road continued right into the storm.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ufjwP6JqRE3RhhPbaJlKUjtQ0orkBhzK9xcxcGLjvRbwi0PBUzD7W2QZB2FxNJacW65MUhnHG3jRHCAokezyLO8fdRRWDxI_qgC4CSrNR-LJElTL1WajfYkiXDCoTE3qVRIBPUbmr3s/s1600/img2010052102_RotatingBaseLG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="1200" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ufjwP6JqRE3RhhPbaJlKUjtQ0orkBhzK9xcxcGLjvRbwi0PBUzD7W2QZB2FxNJacW65MUhnHG3jRHCAokezyLO8fdRRWDxI_qgC4CSrNR-LJElTL1WajfYkiXDCoTE3qVRIBPUbmr3s/s320/img2010052102_RotatingBaseLG.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
There was no getting around it. Anyone who knows Wyoming, knows there is a lot of nothing,including choices of roads and even shelter. We had to continue. I gripped the steering wheel and continued on, and feared what I was in for. <br />
<br />
As I gripped on to the steering wheel, I gripped on to Jesus as I muttered prayers under my breath.<br />
<br />
When we entered the storm, we entered hard rain … the kind of rain that the window wipers couldn't move fast enough, we entered 32 degree weather which brought some snow mixed into the rain. We journeyed on and got through to the other side …. then I could only see the storm in my rear view mirror.<br />
<br />
I remembered a childhood book the girls used to love: Going on a Bear Hunt. It talks about going on a bear hunt and having to go through long wavy grass, a river, mud and a cave. They can't go around these obstacles, or over or under it … the only way to go is through it. Sometimes God brings us storms in life. Sometimes storms just come whether God brings them or not. We can't go around them, over them or under them, as much as we want or even try … we have to go through them. <br />
<br />
As I looked in the rear view mirror I saw what I went through. And I felt God prompt me as to why I was so scared, after all it wasn't all that I had feared. And as I looked in the mirror again it was because of the storms I have endured in the past. I knew how bad the storm could be … I was fearful of the baseball hail that I could have endured and this time without any coverage. I was fearful of a tornado forming. I was fearful of the lightening that could fall from the sky with such power and put it's mark on the land right next to me. I was fearful of a blizzard coming out of no where … all these things I have endured in the past, and I knew what was possible when the storm was before me. <br />
<br />
I remembered Luke 8:22-25. Jesus and his disciples were in the boat, and Jesus was sleeping while the disciples were battling a storm…fearful as they endured it. They feared for their lives. Jesus is all his sleepiness and calmness calmed the storm and asked: "Where is your faith?". <br />
<br />
God reminded me that storms are going to come and go. Some are greater than others, as they are all not the same. Fear shouldn't ever stop me with any of them. Where is my faith? Faith is gripping on to Jesus during these storms, but faith is also knowing who is with me and who I am in Him. The storms of life don't have a hold of me, as He is greater, and He has given me authority to be greater than them too. <br />
<br />
And just as He has given me the authority over these storms … He has given the authority to you. Conquer your storms. Grip on to Jesus. And take authority. It is yours.Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-60977478856108102772017-05-03T11:53:00.002-06:002017-05-03T11:53:57.904-06:00Lesson at the Doctor's Office.<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>My soul seems to be stirring so much lately. I can see it as a good place to be, but I also see it as a frustrating place to be. I need clarity and direction. And I can't seem to find it. </i></span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>A couple months ago, I just gave up in Chick-fil-A and put my two weeks in. They were able to talk me out of leaving, but I did cut my hours back considerably. I just needed some time to figure out what life holds in store for me. </i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>A couple months ago, the CASA office was hitting all the green lights for me to "go" and be certified to be involved. Being that everything was being forced and going at lightning speed, I put the breaks on, because I need to know that is for sure where God wants me. The busyness people cause, makes me not able to hear clearly. And I need to hear God's voice.</i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>It's so hard to explain, but my soul seems to be searching and confused. I'm constantly looking for "what's next", what my current "purpose" is. And nothing comes about. I look at my job, and say "surely, there is something more for me". And with the same eyes that see the job, see lack of hope there. So I want to leave … and run, and never turn back.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>My daughter was sick earlier last week. She had her umpteenth case of pink eye … but this time it was really bad and in both. We do things naturally, and give illness there time. But this time, it was in me that we needed the big guns of medication, and a doctor to look at her. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I made the appointment. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I had other appointments that day, and put her appointment in the midst of mine, and thought it would be doable. The receptionist told me to call back, knowing my schedule if I wasn't able to make it on time, because they were able to adjust accordingly. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>My first appointment took longer than expected. I had to call and make the change.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>We showed up fifteen minutes early for her doctor's appointment. And we waited. Two people who had the time slots for fifteen minutes after our appointment showed up. And were called back. We still waited. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>We finally were called back. My daughter's vitals were taken, weight and height and we were put in the exam room. Where we had to wait even longer. I kept looking at the time, because I knew another appointment was after this. The person knew what was going on, and knew I'd be late, but still I wanted to respect our appointment time to the very best of my ability. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>The doctor came in. Arm braces and all. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>He moved slower than you or me, as he juggled his crutches, the chart and us. I wanted to ask Him, but knew better and didn't. He was the doctor. He got around the exam room constantly swinging his body around, but focused on the reason he was there…. my daughter and her illness.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I felt God tugging at my heart. I heard him whispering into my spirit. "You don't see me on the other side of the door. I am in the midst of something, have patience. It will be revealed to you soon." </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I continued to watch. And I admired that doctor. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>He was labeled with something … MS, a stroke … I don't know, but something. He didn't allow it to stop him. He had a vision and direction to continue his doctoring. And he continues. No matter if Satan is trying to stop him. He continues. I'm sure he has hard days. But he perseveres. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I swallowed hard. I remembered the girls childhood book by Max Lucado "You are Special". I remember all the stickers that Punchinello gets labeled with, and how they start falling when He comes to know his Creator and then they start falling. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Have I picked up labels? Have I looked at my vision and direction and judged it as not being good enough and stopped doing what I'm intended to? Perhaps. But more so, I need to just rest in patience and wait for the door to open for me and know my Creator. Spend time with Him as I wait. It is there I will find the door. It is there I will find the strength to persevere through what He has called me to do. It is there I will find patience. And it is there my soul will find rest and calmness.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i>It is with my Creator I wait. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Colossians 1:10-12</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Galatians 5:22</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"-</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Ecclesiastes 12:1</b></span></div>
</div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-44406739577120033112017-05-03T10:56:00.001-06:002017-05-03T11:09:16.767-06:00Do You See Me?<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I was cleaning once again. I had an old study from Beth Moore in the background. In the midst of being lost and the loneliness I have been in, I asked God … "Do you see me still?". A smile was there with a promise, that He did. I continued to clean.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Knowing you aren't alone is what each person needs in this life. Those who end their lives because they are alone, never knew and truly believed that they aren't. The One that created the very intimate crevices of their heart with such intent is the One that will never leave. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I am thankful that the Creator of my Soul wants to be with me … even in the grime and filth. He still smiles when He sees me.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And He still smiles when He sees you. He created you with purpose. And because He is the creator, no matter what you do, no matter how dirty you become in your work and play … He is God and His intention will win out. No matter what you think. He wins. He is above it all. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I sat last night looking at an emblem. What I saw was God confined. And saw the untruth in it. But I did see the truth that we as humans have a tendency to think "Oh God must think I messed up so much, He can't still love me … " or "Oh I could never be accepted by God"… "only good people, He is pleased with" … and the thoughts continue. LIES! As I daydreamed looking at that emblem, I saw the truth of God rising above it all … God is everything. God takes us dirty and makes us clean. God is not limited. God takes all your thoughts and feelings of unworth and will show you … you are worth EVERYTHING to him. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Hold on. Hold onto a God that is bigger than you can imagine. Hold on. Grasp his little pinkie and He'll show you the rest. He loves you. He made you. He loves what He created. You aren't bigger than Him and can't mess it up. Hold on. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>You are loved.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I praise you because I am wonderful, I know that full well. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Psalm 139:13-16</b></span></div>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511673867270392214.post-47626393209605977032017-05-03T10:41:00.001-06:002017-05-03T10:41:44.579-06:00What now?In all honesty, I have been in a rut lately. I have wondered as to why we had to move back to California. Things at work seem to be just not exciting and meaningful as it once was. Girls are pretty much grown and the needs of mom aren't as it once was. House is clean now, and I just keep cleaning as my schedule allows now - and that allows my mind to go wild. I'm constantly searching as to "what's next", and it is almost like the childhood inquisitive mind of "what am I going to be when I grow up" has heightened and I'm still searching. <br />
<br />
When it comes to relationships, I'm feeling alone. Close friends I have are busy in their set careers and ministries. Extended family has learned to do life without us when we lived far away, and bringing us back into the circle just seems unnatural. Close family are learning to do what life brings them, and I am brought into the circumstances but part of who I am sill gets lost and not understood. Church family doesn't feel like family at all. People stay with the people they know, and don't want people to know their business. So the "hi" and a smile is all that we seem to get on a Sunday. Duane has his job, and is pretty much spent when he gets home. I am just watching and wondering where is my place and part in this world.<br />
<br />
I don't know if I shared, but a long time ago as I sat in my chair where I would have time with God, He told me to go and get a job at Chick-fil-A. I didn't understand it then, and actually laughed at him and explained to him … "I'm better than a job at Chick-fil-A". The command never changed. I got the job, and I remember when I received the call and how joyous I was. I started in the kitchen, and it had its toll on me. When the new owner came in about six months later, he actually saw me in the quick few minutes we talked and brought me from the back of the house to the very front. I remember the first day I was so nervous, but willing. In what became years, I developed many relationships with the guests that came through the doors at Chick-fil-A. Relationships that are still part of me today and relationships that I treasure. I had guests pray over me, gift me with 'thinking of you' tokens and blessed me with who they were each and everyday. On the days I was tired and didn't want to work, I would drive in and think "who am I going to see today", and it would change my heart and fill it with excitement. I loved my job. It was my ticket to be part of my community and know my town. I was part of not a restaurant, but part of a community. <br />
<br />
Chick-fil-A now is different since the move. We aren't part of a small community. We are a much higher volume store. California is coming and going and always on the move, and relationships aren't developed like I once knew. Guests seem more grumpier. The role of my position is different. I get to be part of the team more and develop a relationship with them. But lets face it, the average age of the employees, are my girl's age. So I'm known as "mom", and thankful for that, but also know the relationships go so far. And with the average age comes much more drama. Lately, it is clear I'm unliked more than liked. Like most, I don't like being in environments I'm unwanted in and disliked. There isn't the relationships I once had to brighten my day, and I just feel … lost.<br />
<br />
Lost. Alone. Confused.<br />
<br />
I have been prompted to write during those time I come to God. And so I am. We'll see what comes out of it. After all, the same God who sent me to a restaurant that was "beneath me" and put me in a place of relationships and being part of my community, is the same today. He makes something out of nothing. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Hebrews 13:8</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Matthew 28:20</b></span></div>
<br />Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05142339935050387256noreply@blogger.com0