My Prince of Peace

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."  Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rest."

Luke 2: 8-14

I hear this passage and I sense a calmness in the story.  Peace came to the shepherds.  I'm sure they were startled and perhaps even fearful of what they were seeing, what they were experiencing … but all in all peace surrounded them.  I sense a quietness and stillness also in the moment … as the moment stood still as they grasped what was being told to them.

This time of the year we hear the word "peace" quite often.  However … do we live in a moment of peace?  Drivers cutting in and making wrong decisions so they can get to where they are going and honking at you to get out of the way, shoppers getting cranky and downright rude as they feel the pressure of Christmas coming closer and they have still way too much to do, and just society becoming more focused on our own selves than who we are doing life with - peace is hard to find sometimes, and sometimes down right impossible.

I sit here with a knot in my stomach, one that just won't unwind.   I wrestle with my dad not only being put into an assistant living home, but how fast his disease is taking him.  I wrestle with the decisions ahead that I'm not really part of but hearing about - whether I agree or disagree isn't the issue, but the confusion and exclusion I'm dealing with.  I wrestle with my connection to other family members with all this and helping my daughters walk through this as well.  I wrestle a lot with what I'm dealing with at work.    I hear things, see things that just aren't right.  Confusion is part of my circumstances.  Being pulled in many different directions, being a support to those around me as well as being the one everyone wants to talk to - because "I'm a little easier".  And in the midst of all this we decide to do remodeling.

My stomach hurts.  The knot just doesn't want to loosen.

I know I need to sit with my God.  However, what do I say?  What do I open my Bible to?  What do I do?  After all, He knows everything and sees what I'm going through.  How do I release it?

Christmas we call out Peace.  But yet we don't experience peace.  Life is cruel and gets in the way.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For me yoke is easy and my burden is light."  

Matthew 11:28-30

I don't have to have the answers, for Jesus is the answer.  I don't have to worry about tomorrow because He has it taken care of.  I don't have to figure out what is right and wrong because He is the truth and wins in the end.  I know this full well.

Jesus came.  And all He asks is for me to come to Him.

 don't have to have an agenda, or know where to open my Bible to, or even know what to say.  I just  to come.  He will take care of it all.

So today  come.  I ask all the emotions, turmoil and details I'm going through with my Dad He will handle.  I surrender the hurt, anger, and confusion for His peace.  I come.  I surrender.  And I receive His peace He has to offer.

I chose to walk away from the troubles of this world, and just come to Him and sit.  I receive His peace.

I chose to walk away from my job today and let Him be the center.

I chose Peace.  I chose Him.  And I receive the Peace that entered this world years ago is entering me today.

Simply come.  Simply receive.

Merry Christmas To My Enemies

I sit here.  I hear the Christmas carols and worship music in the background.  I have the smells and beauty of candles near me.  The taste of tea, and the word of God in my lap.  My heart is content … at least for the moment.

I wouldn't be human if I too didn't have my struggles.  And my greatest battle these days is with two coworkers.

I love my job, always have.  Yet this battle I have has caused me to even want to quit.  It has caused me to have my tantrums and has caused me to judge, point fingers right back at them and perhaps even call them names.  I have told my girls that we will always have our struggles with someone in our school classes, in our work places and even church…where ever there are people.  It is just the way life and humans are.  My battle feels like a full blown war!

But as I read the Word of God, hear the music in the background and just ponder on the celebration of  Christ's birth my heart pierces. 

I think of my two coworkers and think of how I have enjoyed getting to know them, how much I appreciated them and loved them.  And somewhere in time it changed.  I'm clueless as to how.  I think how my child has been accused of doing somethings wrong, and I'm her mom … so now I'm in the wrong too (so I feel judged).  I think of how they may think I have the same role as them, not knowing that the demands on me are different and the role isn't quite the same (so I feel not understood).  I think of mistakes I have made, or how I may approach a situation differently and perhaps even disagree with way things should run (so I feel unforgiven).  And if I was them I guess I could be guilty of all of the above, and the negativity of my feelings weighs me down.  

I have had tears knowing that not nice things are being said against me.  I have had anger knowing that communication lacks when exchanging shifts because of the way they feel against me, and knowing full well of gossip that is hurting us being a full team.  I have wanted to come out swinging when they continue to remind my other daughter of her wrong choice she made months and months ago and how I have to remind her that her mistakes don't own her, they don't identify her, and she has made all things right.  I want to spit nails when they call themselves Christians and my own daughter watches and says "why would I want to be a Christian, when this is the example?".  So much negativity comes over me, mama bear even comes out and I want to ruin their lives.

But I ponder on the Word of God, I ponder the lyrics of joy, hope, peace and love that continue to sing around me and just ponder about Christ's birth….how we need to come and adore him, how he came so we could be saved and joy is here to stay.  

And then this morning my heart just aches.  

The two of them and me have something in common.  We celebrate the same King of Kings, Prince of Peace and Wonderful Counselor that came into this darkened world - a world that needed hope, peace, joy and love.  The two of them are crying for the same hope, peace, joy and love that I am crying out for.  These two are the son and daughter of Christ.  They were purposely created, purposely planned and purposely loved, just as I was.  

And my heart aches a little more.  This time out of love and conviction.  I'm not loving the gift that was given to me as I should.  I am not worshipping the very God who creates, and have judged two of his masterpieces.  

I'm so sorry. 

I have seen the world through its darkness and have been in the habit of seeing things as hopeless.  I forgot the power of the gift we celebrate this month.  How this gift brings light and will remove all darkness and the things hidden in it.  

I have love.  I have forgivenss.  I have have freedom.  This baby has given such an abundance, I have more to give.

And the very first gifts this year are to my two coworkers.

"Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress….

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of the shadow of death

a light has dawned.

You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy…

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end."

Isaiah 9:1, 2-3a, 6-7a

Christmas In An Empty Nest

My life has been so empty.  It seems so fitting.  I mean we move two thousand miles into a life we have once known, but don't seem to know anymore.  Two of our chickadees have flown the nest.  The third is graduating early and getting ready to fly herself.  I haven't been able to find what my next step is.  And to top it off ... there is no snow.  

Transitions are hard.  And a few transitions at the same time are extremely hard.

I have tried to remain close to God.  But I can't seem to find how to do that.  I experience God in so many ways, and all those ways are affected by all this transition stuff.  My belief in God hasn't wavered.  But my joy seems to be far far away.  

It hasn't helped that we haven't found a church to call home.  One we are completely attached to, embraced by and find our family through.  It takes time.  

I have always found some of my belonging through my job, because each job I have held God has sent me to.  Currently, God has put me in a time of "rest" and I'm trying to embrace exactly what that means.  And I'm trying hard to trust.  So in the meantime I'm there for Courtney, and being a supportive wife to Duane.

But there seems to be a lie that hovers over me too.  "I have no purpose anymore."  "God can't use me anymore, what I came to do is done.  So I'm done."  Before you give me your advice and tell me that it is a lie from the enemy.  I know!  But let me explain something to you.  Life as I have known for the last decade is now in a new place.  Life as I have known for the past twenty-two years and have poured every last ounce of everything I am into is now coming to an end.  I'm going around the house, not having a mess to clean up after, not having someone to drive, not having drama to walk anyone through and trying to find what I have now to do.  And I just hear "rest".  And for me it is almost like hearing ... "You're done."  

And it hurts.  It's lonely.  I feel as if I'm walking in a cloud.  And I'm lost.

And with every thing I have left I hold onto the truth I know.  That God hears my tears.  He sees my pain.  And his hand is over me as I wonder.  I hold onto hope that God will pull me out of this pit that seems to get larger and larger.

And to add salt in the wound ... it's Christmas.  A time of great joy, arising hope, peace to reign and love to come.  It's what I believe and what I know to be true.  Yet my feelings aren't experiencing what my belief knows.  

And yet God sees.

In the midst of service, I handed over my aching heart, and all the tears.  And in exchange God handed over a baby He sent over 2000 years ago.  And He entrusts me with him.  My hands that were once empty are filled with life once again.  

What does this mean?  I don't know exactly.  But I know that this Christmas I have a baby to hold onto, one to love, one to pour myself into.  One that I can find my purpose in.  One that will complete me.  

Happy Birthday Jesus.  Thank you for life restored through your coming!

YES!

The Holy Spirit prompted what Christmas day was to look like in our home. This year we were to bring gifts to Jesus, just as the wise men once did.

In the hussle and bussle of getting ready for Christmas, I remembering wondering "what in the world am I going to bring to the King, who has everything?". I then started creating one gift when the Holy Spirit prompted me to give another.


Our family had a sweet time opening stockings, playing games and just being together centered in love and laughter. It was one of our favorite Christmas'.

Then the time came ... in order to open our gifts, we had to surrender our gift to the Christ child first. Even with the confirmation of knowing we loved one another, and we weren't to judge one another ... the act of giving to our Savior was very hard to do. We had to remove ourselves, and reveal our vulnerability.

Duane removed the family portrait and brought it in. He mentioned how much he valued and loved his family, and has learned that he can't protect it enough, and needs Jesus' to take his family and care for it the way it needs. God does it better, and Duane will follow His leading to be the husband and father he is called to be.

Katie and Courtney shared poems. One a poem of how she sees God and who He is. Another a poem of brokenness and surrender of where she is at in her walk with Him, but a love just the same.


Lindsay brought a necklace that was once her best-friends. After two years of grieving her best-friend (who died from cancer), she has finally giving Jesus what she held most valuable: her best-friend.

When it was my turn I swallowed my embarrassment and gave my gift ... the gift of "YES". I was shown how my words are willing, but my actions aren't following my commitment. In other words, I have been a hypocrite. I told God I would follow through and act out in YES, and not doubt and question. God has given me doors to walk through and I have found comfort in the waiting for those doors to open, that I haven't walked through them as I should. God in return gave me a promise as He extended His hand and showed me TOGETHER we will walk through the coming open doors.

The Christmas gifts are all put away, the tree is taken down and the decorations are stored. However, I still see my gift lying at the manger, and my heart still giving it today. "YES!" I will not be led by how I feel, but trust God fully and TOGETHER we will walk through many open doors in not only this coming year, but the years to come!

"And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

Isiah 6:8.

Merry Christmas from Our Home to Yours!!!!

Christmas 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

Greetings! You need to know you have touched our lives and we are so grateful for you!

As I turned our calendar to November, my mind quickly turned to figuring out what to write about in our annual Christmas letter; panic set in. I didn’t know what to say, but as I cleared and washed the dinner dishes tonight as the family rushed out the door, it was then I knew exactly what to say!

Our lives are full! Extremely Full! Full of Life. Full of Jesus. Full of Love. Full of Fun. Full of Friends. Full of activities. Full of each other. Full of passion. Full of good times. Full of challenges. Full of laughter. Full of emotions. Just plain full! We are experiencing a bounty in fullness….and LOVE it!

Duane remains hard at work, leading our family, being the homework guru and the spiritual head of this family. After 19 years of marriage this year, my admiration and love for him has grown. I can’t speak enough about him. Duane is our stability in our very emotional household! Duane continues at Amgen, in spite of the many lay offs this year. We remain grateful for his job. Duane is a back up leader at his men’s group at church, a leader in the high-school ministry and now helps with security at our church. But mainly…he is the go to man for us. We girls know if we need a problem solved, a listening ear or just a hug where to go … Duane, AKA Daddy. He is the best!

Lindsay. Our lives are filled with anticipation as we watch her finish her senior year and what life holds next for her. But I have to admit seeing her today as she was filling out her college applications brought some sorrow to my heart. I’m not ready to see her go as we enjoy having her around. I enjoy talking and listening with her …especially if shopping is involved! Lindsay continues in piano, bassoon, clarinet and anything else she can get her hands on. She was Drum Major in her school band this year – and as always, did an awesome job in directing, as well as leadership. I stand and look at my daughter, who is now a grown woman, and see her come beside freshmen, encourage, and embrace them; it fills my heart. Lindsay continues working in the church’s nursery and leads worship at the convalescent home. She recently got back from a mission trip to China, bringing back not only many stories but a much bigger heart for the people there. I celebrate her!

Our always active young lady, Katie, is just that…still active! I can’t believe she has started high-school this year, and can believe she loves it, as social as she is! Katie has continued on in band, and is exceptional on the flute…she just got placed in fourth chair (out of 9; beating juniors, sophomores and one other freshman). This is her first year in marching band and seems to bring a lot of life and fun with her. Katie is currently playing basketball, and will be joining the soccer team as well. Katie continues to attract little kids…whether they know her or not, she is mesmerizing to them and a whole lot of fun, and she often takes the time to play and talk with them. The kids love her in the nursery at church, and seem to always look for her! Katie has a gift of life. She embraces it, lives it, and teaches me to enjoy the moments!

Courtney amazes me! I just recently told her how she is my hero. Courtney is back in school, after being home-schooled and LOVING it! The lunch room conversations have been centered on faith, as others have different beliefs. Courtney remains bold and certain as she shares her faith and belief…she stands up when things need to be said – something I would never have done at her age! Astonishing! She is now volunteering twice a week at the Humane Society: one day caring for the cats, the other – the dogs. She loves it. She just recently joined a writing club at school, a place her imagination can run wild, and helps lead Awanas at our church. We are pleased to see the confidence arise in her and just plain astonished!

Me. I am so thankful to be able to still stay at home. I see now, that teenagers need the consistency, stability, and availability now more than ever; and I have the privilege to be able to provide just that. I am now a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate for foster care children; their voice in court). It takes much of my time – and worth every second and mile I have put on the car! I work along side of Duane in the high-school ministry and continue with my bible studies. I am fully blessed!

At the beginning of the year we were able to go to Disneyland and spend some much needed family time. We continue to find magic there, but now found as the girls are older, Duane and I could go and do things we wanted to do as the girls went on more rides. Freedom! Summer seemed so short, as it was filled with volunteering, marching band practices, VBS and our annual summer church retreats. Hiking wasn’t as much as we would have liked to do, but we managed a couple; Duane and Katie hiked a 14er. Katie and I celebrated our birthdays with my mom this year, which made a quick trip to California, and some special time just the two/three of us. We experienced sadness of putting our rabbit of the past 11 years down, but now welcome a new rabbit, Emily – who can’t seem to stay in her cage. Duane and I managed a couple nights away in the mountains that seemed to rejuvenate us for the coming school year, as well as give us the opportunity to have uninterrupted time.

Our home is full of not only the five of us, but it seems that every day there are additional kids calling me “Mom” and sitting around our dinner table or watching a movie with us…or dancing to the wii. It is true…if you feed them, they will come! And we thoroughly enjoy it. A matter-of-fact our family has also finished all the certifications for being a foster home for Denver County. Now we wait to hear what child will be joining our family. So, as you can imagine, our food budget is at its max; yet God continues to provide.

What amazes me the most this year, especially as we celebrate this Christmas, is how the King of the Universe, the same Creator who penned the creation and blew life into it all, the ultimate Healer, the source of love, joy, peace, strength and so much more desires to have personal time with me. Just Him and me, sitting on His lap or laughing as we walk through each activity in life. I have learned to cherish the time I have with Him, and it is that time that I’m able to see life through His eyes and love everything and everyone that comes my way. The Creator of time has time for you too, and as I have found every time I seek Him, He is right there to be found. I pray as we anticipate the coming of a child who is called “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” and reigns on His throne on high that you too will experience that intimate time with Him. He came for me, and He came for you.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas as you celebrate Jesus!

With hearts full of thanksgiving, celebration and much love,

Duane, Karen, Lindsay, Katie and Courtney Archibald

Joy To The World The Lord Has Come!

The last couple of weeks we have had a bit of a scare in our home.  We have had moments of peace, sometimes even a full day ... but somewhere fear would creep in, and tears followed.  We have been waiting medical tests to know whether or not I had a tumor or not.  Like I said, the waiting hasn't been easy.  I audibly heard God's voice on the exam table, saying "I will get you through this".  I didn't hold onto His promise, but instead allowed fear to come in as I didn't know what "this" was.

This morning I was reminded of a similar story.  Please bare with me.  In the beginning of Jesus' story, we are told of another ... the conception and birth of John the Baptist, who will prepare the way for Jesus.  Zechariah was encountered by Gabriel, the angel who told him of the coming of a son.  Zechariah questioned the promise which resulted in silence until John was to be circumcised.  Months of solitude - not being able to voice his say in matters, not being able to voice his insight with his fellow serving priests, not being able to voice the intimate secrets a husband says to his wife, not being able to voice his feelings and wisdom and even blessing on the birth of his son.  

Mary too was visited by Gabriel.  Her promise was even more obscure than Zechariah's .. as she was a virgin.  Mary questioned too.  Yet a gentle answer and explanation was her response. 

Do you see the difference?  Mary saw Gabriel and believed what was said.  Zechariah saw Gabriel, and doubted the words off his lips.  Mary's song glorified the Lord and speaks of How great God is, her surrender to His calling , she was even thankful to be part of His plan.  Zechariah, even after serving in the temple, being a Godly man he was and believing God full well, didn't give God praise and recognition until AFTER John's birth and AFTER his time of solitude.

So as I have been waiting, today I questioned and wondered.  Did I recognize the Greatness of my God?  Did I glorify the Lord in song?  Did I surrender to His calling?  Was I even thankful?  I would love to tell you yes ... but honestly, there were moments and days I have been more like Zachariah than Mary. 

I am so thankful God works with us, and knows us better than we know ourselves.  He teaches us through life's moments and shows us His word brought to life.  I have the hearts desire to be more like Mary ... but bottom line, Zechariah and Mary both recognized God and brought Him honor in their own time.  I want to be more like the person He called me to be, and rise up to His plan and recognize how Great our God is in spite of the circumstances!

I can't help but hear the glorious words to the song "Joy to the world ... OUR LORD HAS COME" and that is why we rejoice this time of year.  Yet I rejoice throughout the year as our God Almighty came to earth in form of a precious baby knowing He was going to be rejected and crucified...so we may have eternal life with Him!  Knowing He is the same God today that He was when scriptures were written, brings me much peace and reassurance.  As I see He was a God who walked the streets, walked through the journey we call "life", with all the questions and pressures we have, but HE had ALL the answers!  Today that same God lives, continuing to bring us peace and reassurance.  He fights for us and holds our hands even before we need holding.  He wipes our tears and rejoices with us.  He is a good God and remains good to this day.  He continues to have all the answers.  Through Him and because of Him we are all set free!

And today we celebrate as He set our family free from worry and questioning ... everything was benign!  Thank you Jesus!  

And God Came

As usual, Duane and I were praying this morning.  Life seems to be a bit heavier than normal this morning, and we were laying our burdens at His feet.  During prayer, I happened to look up and pondered our decorated mantel.  And then I remembered ...

I thought of all the heaviness, then lies seemed to whisper in my ear.  You know the ones when you are kicked down, the "oh, what you are going through is nothing compared to so and so...save your prayer requests", or "you are so alone in this...no one will care about all this", or "you deserve all this".  Yea, sometimes I hear those words when I am battling heaviness.  But this morning was different, I kicked those lies to the curb as I stumbled on what I saw .. those manger scenes.

Why did Jesus come to this lowly place...a manger?  Why did the King of the universe, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords come to a lowly place called earth, and a lowly place such as my heart?  The text book answer is to save us from our sins, so we may have eternal life with our Heavenly Father.  But this morning I am reminded of so much more.  He came.  He came for you.  He came for me.  But He came to set us free.  He came to heal us.  He came to carry our heaviness.  He came to wipe our tears.  He came to hold our hand.  He came to celebrate our joys with us.  He came to encourage, to give hope and peace and increase our faith.  He came so we can be more like Him.  He came.  And the beauty of it all ... He still comes every moment of the day, every day. 

So as I sat and started in my self pity of "why now?" and "why during this most happiest time of the year?", I told my Savior, my Lord of Lords, my Emmanuel ... thank you that it was now, as I am reminded He came in form of a baby for such a time as this!  And as the letters spell out on our mantel, P E A C E ... it still holds true today.  He came this morning picking up my heaviness and in return He gave me His peace. 

I pray you too experience His peace during this Christmas time, as well as the days that follow.

Another Christmas behind us...

Our oldest counts the days down until Christmas, starting the day after Christmas and listens to Christmas music through out the year.  Odd...perhaps, but I confess I remember doing the same thing when I was a teenager. 

Christmas is an event we hold dear to our hearts.  It's not about the fun of presents, but I think it is safe to say that we all look forward to seeing what is wrapped under the tree.  We look forward to my parents visit, as we don't get to see them enough.  We look forward to extra family time together.  But most of all, we look to take something new about Jesus away with us.  Christmas is full of anticipation.

This year, being the timing of Christmas and New Years and the trees we had up were so dead, we needed to take the decorations down earlier than normal.  I've felt shorted - even though my house is clear and clean.  But one thing I have noticed is that I haven't put my Christmas music away yet.  I'm still listening, still celebrating and still worshipping the greatest gift ever given.  I also notice our blog remains in the Christmas attire. 

My heart is too moved this year with the celebration of my Emmanuel.  I'm not ready to put those last few things away.  So perhaps I'm going back to my teenage years, or letting my oldest lead me ... I may just be listening to the sound of Christmas all year round. 

And just in case you are wondering ...

there are 351 days until Christmas! 

The girls with Nana and Grandpa...an awesome time we all had!

Duane opening his present from all his girls.  A Hawaiian style Dodgers shirt, with baseball buttons!

Our little chef, equipped with a dog apron and a dog treat recipe book.  Judah is so happy!

Katie surprised and happy to see her Uggs that Nana got for her. (We haven't seen her feet since!)

Lindsay with her new coat she never thought she'd find.

For Christmas this year, we took my parents to the mountain for a sleigh ride.  It was a beautiful day!

It didn't take long before my mom was in the driver's seat!

And a sleigh ride equipped with roasting marshmallows and hot chocolate!  It can't get any better!

From Our House to Yours

We wish you a very Merry Christmas!

May the Prince of Peace fill your lives!

The Christmas Season is Here!

The season is officially amoung us.  This is the day for turkey sandwiches as we hunt for the perfect trees.  Final touches are in place outside our home as Duane makes sure each lightbulb is in its place and the Christmas cut outs (I have had since a little girl) are perfectly placed.  This weekend the trees will be strung with lights, then decorated with ornaments that remind us of times past.  The house will be filled with decorations to remind us of the season we are in.  Yes!  The season has officially arrived!

As I prepare for our family traditions and the coming of my Savior's birth, I also prepare my heart to fully welcome His coming.  I never want the coming of Christmas to be the same as the years past, or even miss it; but rather I want to experience His coming in a whole new way.  And that is my prayer for you.  May this Christmas season bring you a whole new experience of the birth of our Savior, the birth of the Greatest King ever known.  And as your prepare for your own traditions, may God stir something new in you too so you'll be ready for the MOST incredibile gift.

Room in the Inn?

As you have been reading it is the girls plan to go and serve in Liberia this Christmas. Unfortunately they have not raised the full amount needed, the t-shirts aren't ready to sell, and the airlines don't have any available seats. We are seeking plan B (I suppose God's original plan): which will be going back during spring break, if not sooner. For those of you who are still wanting to support the girls endeavor, we have made arrangements for you to receive a tax-deduction by making your checks out to "Addy's Hope", with "Archibald trip" in the memo. You can send it to them or us. Thank you for your support!

The girls were heartbroken. Duane and I were too. I'm thankful that our disappointment fell during the start of a season of Hope and Joy. So, we went back to the traditions, that come with this time of year; and each of us seeking the true meaning of Christmas...Jesus, our Savior, Deliverer and our Greatest gift of all.

We are still seeking "the place" where we will go and get our tree each year. We like to make a day out of it...just the five of us (soon to be seven). This year we headed down to Colorado Springs and spent the day there, singing along to Christmas songs, and giggling throughout the car ride there.

We found our trees!!!

The girls, in all humor wondered if they could get their parents to choose this one...needless to say, we simply said "I don't think so!" :)

It is our Christmas tradition to get a second, little Christmas tree. Those of you who have known us for quite some time, probably remember a specifically hard time in our lives - when we moved from Oakley to Concord; and the home we purchased turned out to be a "buyer beware" home. As quickly as we moved in, we had to move out due to a major water leak, which brought with it mold. For three months we lived in a hotel room, without our belongings or the comforts of home. Nothing went according to plan.

We purchased a little "Charlie Brown tree", which we brought with us to our new home when it was safe to move in again. Unfortunately, the only access we had in our new home were the bedrooms; so it was our room that our little tree stood.

All of our belongings were packed and unable to get to. As the girls brought arts and crafts home from school, and our family made some ornaments we soon had our first ever home made Christmas.

I remember being grateful that Christmas that there was room in the "inn" when we were seeking shelter. We were grateful our family and friends were always willing to take us in during those dreadful three months. But we couldn't help but wonder, why couldn't Bethlehem make room for Jesus? His family were strangers I suppose.

So every year we make our home made Christmas tree (which stands not in our bedroom but rather our family room) and remember. We remember how God took care of us when everything was taken away. But it also stands as a reminder to make room always for Jesus. And that is our challenge to you this season...do you have room for Him? Is there space for Him to come?

"For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

Are you ready?

Elijah & Ruthie

Yours, God...Yours, God...Everything is Yours....

including Elijah and Ruthie!

Enjoy this video into the lives of our children - don't forget to turn the music at the bottom of this blog off. You'll want to hear our son! :)

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

The Christmas decorations are put away. I didn't let my mind drift to the previous year, or to the next year when we pulled them out to put them on display. But it seemed that God wasn't going to let them be put away without me pondering on Him and what is pulling me away.

Last year, we had so much anticipation for the next year. You see we had a new family member coming and bringing his joy, excitement, and awe into our Christmas. We were going to be a new family...a complete family.

We never anticipated we would still be waiting. But we also never anticipated we would be waiting for two family members.

As for next year, I don't allow myself to dream of all our children opening each window of the advent card telling the story of how Jesus came. I don't allow my mind drift on the wonder of the children's ooo's and aww's as they see lights and the welcoming spirit in our home of a Savior who came. I don't allow myself to experience the joy as we sing 'Happy Birthday' to Jesus with joy and much gusto. I don't allow myself because of the 'what if'...'what if we are still waiting'.

Fear. Perhaps.

Doubt. Perhaps.

A form of protectection. Perhaps.

I have shared how I have heard everyone's opinions as to how to bring our children home. The loudest being - "I'm not praying enough". I have allowed this guilt and shame into my life. I have allowed this opinion to come and claim me. I have allowed this judgement to condemn me into silence. You see I have prayed and continued to do so. Because I have reached peace and have even experienced joy. I have cried in the hands of my gentle Savior and received comfort. I have been able to continue down the path because of the strength He has given me and with patience. Only God has heard my prayers and been with me each step of the way. But I have still received judgement and condemnation that I haven't prayed - and enough. And because of it, I stopped praying. I claimed that "God knows my heart, he knows my desire - He is even the one that started this whole thing...it's all in His hands". I mean He is the God of the Universe, what He says goes. Does my prayer really affect His will? I still don't know the answer, but what I do know is this...

We have to be careful how we "encourage" others. I have been judged by a world that doesn't see me worship each time I drive my car, or how I pray over my family as I do the household chores, or how I receive a closeness and joy as I serve God in the school and the elderly in the communtiy, or even as I write in my journal or on this blog and let each word go out to my Friend first and receive His affirmation and comfort.

Once condemnation is received, Satan has a field day. I stopped praying because of condemnation. Satan celebrated. I have felt so far away from the one who comforts me and encourages me and lifts me up when I struggle. Satan celebrated. I have allowed this to interfere with my celebration of Christmas. Satan celebrated. I believed the lie that praying doesn't do a bit of good. Satan celebrated. And then I remembered why I prayed...I receive peace everytime I share my thoughts and desires with Him. I recieve patience when I'm struggling to wait. And the best of it all...I receive the presense of my God, my Friend, my Comforter and my Savior. Satan is pouting!

One lie leads to another. Once I believed that my prayers weren't going to make a difference, I received condemnation, and once I received condemnation I believed 'I'm just not good enough'. Perhaps I don't discipline enough, I don't love my children enough, or I don't give them a four-course meal everynight, the house isn't clean enough, I don't pray with them enough, I don't teach them to serve or receive God enough...perhaps is is because of all this is why my other children aren't here yet...I'm just not a good enough parent. But it even goes beyond that. I have a heart for missions, specifically Africa. Our family has a heart for it. We have a natural heart for Liberia, and we have a huge heart for the orphanage project and the bigger project that is incorporating over there. But when I look through the world's eyes...I'm not good enough. I am uneducated, unexperienced, uncapable, un-Spirtual, and don't have enough Bible verses memorized. Loving the people of Liberia, wanting to develop a relationship with them, sharing what little we know...is just not enough.

Or is it?

I started praying again last night. I sat in church and wrote my letter to God. God spoke. I heard in the message how God is creator, God created and wills growth and how it will flourish at the time He speaks it. He plants the dreams and desires in our hearts, because He wants them there. The dreams that come and go are our human desires that aren't of him, but the ones that grow, the ones that become passions and the ones that we just can't drop are from Him. He created it. He willed it. He will do something with it in His timing. He is able, and everything is possible through Him...even using someone like me.

Today I wait. I wait for my children. I wait for my God to use me the way He sees fit. I wait for His to will to use me. Today I need patience. So today I will pray.

And as for the lie of the enemy that says "I'm just not good enough". I took some pictures of my favorite decorations as I put them away. Katie's manger scene - her handmade doll, wrapped in a cloth, with Jesus' face drawn on. Courtney's wreath that says 'Happy Birthday', and Lindsay's manger scene she made with popsicle sticks and hay. And then I see the gifts my girls gave on Christmas morning. A manger scene made from clay from Courtney as well as a prayer rock, cross book mark and an angel ornament. Katie gave a sign that speaks of how our heart is the home because she says she sees my heart hear all the time, and Lindsay made a sign of how she sees my heart for Africa grow each day, and from my husband - a love-note, books about Liberia, and a camera to capture it all when we go. Sometimes the world is very loud with it's opinions. But today I choose to ignore the world, be encouraged by God through my family and I will pray. I will hold onto His promises, and draw close to Him again. And I do receive the pat on the back, that I'm OK, and rest assured that when I'm not good enough...my God is!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere,

Go tell it on the mountain

That Jesus Christ is Born!!!

(Our Birthday Song to Jesus, written by the Donut Man (Rob Evans))
Happy Birthday, Jesus

Happy Birthday to the Lord

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to the Lord

Let the earth cry out, "Hallelujah"

Let the people shout for joy

Let the star burn like the brightest candle

And celebrate the birthday of God's baby boy

Let the angels sing "Glory in the highest"

Let the shepherds shout for joy

Let the wise men bring out the presents

And celebrate the birthday of God's baby boy

Happy Birthday to the Lord!!!

Merry Christmas Elijah & Ruthie!

It's always such a treat to go through pictures of families who have gone before us to pick up their children. This time the director of our agency and a friend of ours went over to 1. get the adoptions moving again and 2. purchase and break land to build a new orphanage, clinic, chapel, school and so much more. It is always exciting to hear and now finally see the dreams come into reality. The children in the orphanage had a Christmas party when they were there and we had the privilege to send over a little something for our children. Today we were given a gift of seeing them receive their presents. Oh, how we would love to just come and put our arms around you ourselves, Elijah & Ruth, but until then...

Do not be afraid, for behold,

I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.

For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior,

who is Christ the Lord.

And this will be the sign to you:

You will find a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.

Merry Christmas!

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas...

As the tradition began, on Duane and my first Christmas together, it as been the trend to go and hike, have turkey sandwiches, and hunt for our Christmas tree. Unfortunately we haven't had that same experience since we moved to Colorado - simply put, it is just different here because of a variety of reasons. We still went out, and found out that one of Lindsay's teachers has his own tree lot - so that is what we did.

We reminisced about last year how we were completing our home study and dossier and wanting so badly to have Elijah with us and how we anticipated what this Christmas would be like with him. We never thought it would be another Christmas without him. We are full of peace that God will bring him and Ruth home, but as we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and all the events these two holidays bring it is so hard to not wish he was here. So I do ask as you pray, could you pray that God will continue to comfort us and that the waiting will come to an end, and our new family of seven can begin.

The girls looking at Christmas lights in 3D!

Courtney's Christmas craft.

Finally! Our first snow! Yeah!!! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...