Accusations

It has been so long since I have written.  Where have I been?  I would love to tell you busyness ... that is somewhat true, but not totally.  I would love to tell you I haven't had anything to say ... somewhat true, but life always brings something to say.  But truth be told, we have gone through some storms of life.  And as much as I'm trying to not talk about it, God is nudging me to do just that. 

I'm not going to share all the details, as that is irrelevant.  But I am going to share what God has done through this time.  And I believe, God is going to break off the deep sadness I am experiencing through the confession and realization of how great God is. 

Defender: (according to Webster's) protect, shield, guard, safeguard, defend implies warding off what immediately threatens or repelling what actually attacks; protect is wider in application and less active in suggestion, implying a keeping safe by any means from injury or destruction; shield suggests that interposition of a cover or barrier against imminent and specific danger; guard implies protecting with vigilance and force against expected danger; safeguard implies taking precautionary protective measures against merely possible danger.

Vindicator: to set free, deliver, avenge, exonerate, absolve:  to provide justification or defense for; justify, to protect from attack or encroachment, defend.

Ever since I was little, I have dreamed of someone to take a stand and defend me when the battle was fierce.  Perhaps it is the romantic in me, or one too many seeings of Cinderella.  But I can say honestly, I have had that desire.  I have been taught to stand up for myself...be strong.  So on the contrary, if I didn't stand for myself ... I believed I was weak, or rather I was looked down upon because of my weakness and I wouldn't survive this world. 

Can I tell you something about me?  I'm NOT a fighter!  Never have been, and I never will be.  It is just not in me ... unless, I have to protect my children...then it is a whole new ball game!  But for the most part, even my girls will tell you ... we pray for our enemies.  We allow truth to prevail.  It will all work itself out in the end. 

In the past month we allowed a 15 year old girl come into our home.  We made ourselves very vulnerable.  We gave her food, clothes, love, safety, shelter, encouragement, truth, acceptance ... and so much more.  But what we gave her wasn't enough.  It was something she rejected over time, and something she would complain about in the end. 

In the middle of our circumstances, lies and deceit were discovered.  The truth was exposed.  The truth of what came into our home, was totally what was not exposed in the beginning.  The foundation of her coming, was based on a lie ... and it took four weeks for her ground to crumble.  

Accusations.  We say they don't hurt, but until we are under the pointing finger and all its wrath we discover - they hurt and are very heavy! 

My accusations:  I'm an abuser.  I'm names, that you won't hear from my lips (or fingertips).  I'm neglectful.  I definitely have issues.  I play favorites.  I am a liar.  (Those are the ones I know of.)

I look at those accusations as they try to stick their nasty lies on me.  And I see something:  they are true.  I know I have raised my voice a time or two or more to the ones I love.  The colorful names I won't say ... I guess I could be those things on occasion.  Have a neglected our home?  Yep.  Do I have issues?  YES!  Let me be the first to say!  I have a tendency to favor my family on occasion.  And you know what ... as much as I say that I don't ... I know I have lied.  So I guess you can say I'm guilty as charged!

But you see the difference between me and some is that I have Jesus, who took these accusations, allowed them to pierce His head, hands and feet...let alone His heart.  Then he did something with them no one else has done:  He nailed each one to the cross with His suffering.  He took them, so I didn't have to.

For the past few weeks fear has ruled my heart.  I was afraid that this small community I live in will believe the worse about me.  I was afraid of the battle I was going to walk through.  I was afraid of the judgements I was going to have to encounter.  My head lowered in shame, as fear conquered my heart.

It wasn't until the past two days I have seen God work on the hearts of those I hold relationships with.  The accusations were never even considered.  Not one!  These people saw me, ignored (what I call) "the squeaky wheel" and saw the truth.  I didn't have to draw one breath to defend myself.  And as I saw this, I experienced God lifting my head up to see who He is in my life.

So ever since I was little I have wanted a defender ... a vindicator.  Ever since I accepted Jesus in my heart, little did I know I had one.  I marvel ... that I can look in the mirror and see those accusations, and see the truth in them, but one by one they fall off each and every day, because my Jesus sees me, not the accusations ... and sees something worth fighting for, something worth standing up for ...

He sees me as His! 

"Look upon my suffering and deliver me,

for I have not forgotten your law.

Defend my cause and redeem me;

preserve my life accorrding to your promise.

Your compassion is great, O Lord;

preserve my life according to your laws.

Psalm 119: 153-154, 156

A Heart Like His

I have sought God about what to write on this blog, nothing came to me - until this morning when I was watching TV.  The host this morning had a guest who was an advocate for pets...specifically dogs and cats, which just brought out the passion on this matter in the host.  I knew then exactly what I was to say. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I LOVE animals.  Anyone who knows me will verify this fact.  Anyone who has been to our home has experienced our small zoo.  Even those who do know me don't know how much I am of my great-grandmother's who had a huge heart for our furry friends.  I see God in His creation...how creative God is to create such a variety, as well as the instinct and abilities in each one.  Amazing!  I also believe these creatures have been put on this earth for us to take care of.  But I believe animals are God's fun and creativeness not the center of His heart.  We, His people are.  And it is clear He has a special place for the fatherless and widows.

Sing to God, sing praise to his name, 

extol him who rides on the clouds -

his name is the Lord

and rejoice before him.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,

he leads forth the prisoners with singing;

but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.  

Psalm 68: 4-6

As I sat and watched these furry friends on TV, my heart ached for something much bigger.   I grew in frustration as I am constantly reminded of the neglect of animals, yet knowing that 153,000,000 children across the world have lost one or both of their parents needing a home, a mom, and/or dad - needing hope. 

So many people think of adoption when it comes to orphans.  Granted, children deserve a home, a mom and dad, a bed to call their own - hope and a future.  We all have it, why can't they?  However, I am fully aware not everyone is called to adopt, but we are all called to care for the orphans.  I have heard excuses such as "I wish we could, but it isn't my thing" or "I don't have the space for another child" or "I just can't financially do it".   And the result remains the same as we turn a deaf ear and a blind eye toward the huge need.  What if I told you that you don't have to have space for a child?  Or you don't have to offer one penny?  and what if I told you ... this is your thing, because God has commanded it on all of us? 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: 

to look after orphans and widows in their distress

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 

James 1:27

Do you have a concern with all the news these days?  Do you wonder where our world is heading to?  Do something about it ... the future isn't in the dogs and cats we save, but rather the children you see on your block or in the neighborhood school or park.  The future is in the children that are on welfare, and the children who don't have to worry where they lay their head at night.  The future is those children in the cities as well as those out on the country farms.  The future are the children that are in Africa, Ukraine, China and here in the US.  Children are our future, and if you want to change the way our country is going ... INVEST in a life of a child.

But yet I hear, "How?  I have nothing to offer."  And that is where you are so wrong. 

Those of you who have a passion and a calling, and you clearly know God has laid it on your heart ... adoption is a key way to give hope to a child, and change the direction in that child's life.  Now is the time...there are boys and girls waiting for a home, waiting just for you.  Please see links at the bottom of this post.

Maybe adoption isn't fully what you are called to do, but have the room to bring a child in.  Have you considered fostering?  There are so many children who need the consistency a parent has to offer, yet don't have it.  So many counties need your help - call yours today.  (Adams and Denver county has the greatest need in Colorado.)

CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate).  Get to know a child or a family of children who have been pulled from their home, protect a child's rights and ensure their safety - be their voice in court.  http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301295/k.BE9A/Home.htm

Can you be a friend?  What about the big-brother/big-sister program?  The children signed up in this program seek help with their homework as well as a mentor in their life.  You have so much to offer, all your hobbies and talents will bring healing, knowledge and connection.  http://www.biglittlecolorado.org/

What about the single mom or single dad down the street?  Can you bring their children over to your home and play with them?  What a double blessing!  Not only can you touch the life of these children, but give the mom/dad a break!

Do you have extra newish stuffed-animals?  Take them to your nearest police station and donate them.  Why?  These officers have the hardest job - removing children out of unsafe conditions and bringing them to a new place.  These children are traumatized, hurt and angry.  A stuffed animal can be just the ticket to prove to the child that these officers aren't the bad guys!

Maybe you do have some extra money you can give.  I have listed some websites for you to consider donating to.  I also have some sites that you can sponsor a child through, and receive letters from your sponsor child...and even have the opportunity to visit!  But I encourage you to do more that write a check.  Even though these charities are in desperate need, it is easy to write a check ... get involved with the life of a child. 

http://www.addyshope.com/
http://www.adoptuskids.org/
http://www.hopefororphans.org/display.asp?page=home
http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/
http://www.streetsofhope.org/
http://www.compassion.com/
http://theshepherdscrook.org/
http://www.watoto.com/home


That should be enough to get you started.

Get involved!  You will not only be changing a life of a child ... but I guarantee yours will be changed too!