I Choose To Be Thankful ...

My heart has been heavy these past weeks.  Truth hasn't seemed to win out, and it anguishes me. 

The Ebola outbreak.

A few weeks ago, missionaries that were just a few miles from our children came to the US, to seek medical treatment and have been healed.  Don't get me wrong...I prayed for them, and am so thankful God showed his mercy and healed them. 

And now our country thinks everything is over.  Ebola hasn't won.  And it's over.

But it's not.

It is worse than ever, a matter-of-fact.  People are dying constantly everyday.  It seems I can hear the wailing as I sleep, and in my waking hours.  The wailing of hopelessness.  It seems I can feel the depth of despair and even the questioning if God is listening.

Our country has sent over experimental drugs to help those in this fight for their lives.  But our country has sent over drugs to a corruptive country.  Liberia's government will see who gets help and who doesn't.  They will make sure one tribe will survive over the other, and the government will see to it that they themselves are safe.  But those in the bush, those in the orphanages and those who don't matter (in the country's eyes) ... they will never see the "help" that was sent.

This disease needs to be isolated, true.  But in Liberia it is the extreme.  I know one particular story that a son tested negative to the disease, but his whole family died.  He was still shunned and isolated ... left to starve and die, because he was related to the deceased, even though evidence proved he was safe.  Villages and slums are quarantined.  Food doesn't come in.  And because of the state of the country, food isn't necessarily grown.  Starvation is now a factor.  And those who have food, are selling their goods at an outrageous price ... and we are talking about the second poorest country in the world.  I can imagine the food going bad before the price could be met. 

Things seem hopeless.  My heart remains heavy and in anguish.

Yet I'm reminded through Paul's words in Philippians of the hope we have.  That we are to look outside of the situations.  Look outside of the prison walls he knew so well, look outside of the cross our Savior endured but look to the One that is our prize.  (Philippians 3:14)  I'm to rejoice in the Lord always, not to be anxious about anything, but in everything , by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my requests to God.  Today I search for the peace of God which will transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and minds in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 4:4-7)

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.  (Philippians 4:8-9)

I admit, it is hard to find good, noble, right, pure and lovely, admirable and excellent things in this situation that strikes close to our home.  Our children could be starving.  They were hungry before, and the depth of hunger pains are more likely increased.  They could be isolated.  The country is so poor, communication isn't an option.  Fear is evident from what we do know.  Fear rises in me as well.  How can I be thankful?

But I choose to stand on faith.  I choose to believe the God that says he hears, hears.  I choose to believe the God that says he fights, will fight.  I choose to believe the God that says he comforts, will comfort.  I choose to believe the God that says he protects, will protect.   And I choose to believe the God that says he is hope will remain hope. 

I choose to shift my eyes more upward.  And I consider it my thanksgivings - the boy I shared many laughs with, the girl I held and let become a peanut butter mess.  I am thankful of the songs of joy as they danced and sang before the Lord.  And with the thankfulness, somehow I know God will rise above this all ... and even in this hopeless mess, everything will be ok.  
 

So Thankful for You!

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thess 5:16-18

Thankfulness was my topic in my Bible study today. The following statement hit me between the eyes:  "Not everything that happens in life is His will.  He didn't cause the crisis that an individual or a nation may be facing.  He actually cannot give things that are not good, because he does not have them.  God can give only good gifts because He is good, and He has only good gifts to give.  So giving thanks in everything does not mean that the adversity came from God.  But when you give thanks in the midst of an adverse situation, a difficulty that was intended to undermine your faith and even destroy you enables you to take hold of that situation and set it apart to God and His purposes."  Bill Johnson

What does that mean to me?

To this day I receive question after question about our children in Liberia.  No one understands.  What I understand and share doesn't make sense.  But in the back of their minds they question how God could allow these children to be raised in an orphanage. Some question if we heard right.  Some doubt.  Some condemn.  And I totally get it, because I have been in the same place. 

I have allowed anger, bitterness, and disappointment fill my heart and close parts of my heart from God.  But when I sit and ponder all that God has done through my life...the big things as well as the minor, God has proved Himself faithful and true.  He has never left me, and has continued to pour His love on me.  He continues to show His goodness in my life.  Bottom line, a good God doesn't do something bad and I have reason to be thankful in spite of Elijah and Ruth being here or not.

And that is where I'm at - a heart of thankfulness.  Thank you God for providing Elijah and Ruth a home, food and provision.  Thank you for keeping them healthy and well taken care of.  Thank you for the people who have been placed in theirs and our lives to give us connection.  I am thankful God, you have allowed me to go and hold them.  Thank you for the hope that you have shown us throughout the past four years as we wait.  Oh God, I so appreciate how you have held our hearts, wiped our tears away as well as theirs.  Thank you for not walking away from me when I have been bitter and angry toward you, but instead you held me that much tighter.  Thank you that I don't have to understand any of this ... but I can trust you know what is best and will take care of it all.  Thank you for your love for each of us.  Thank you for never turning your heart away from me and remaining so good.  Thank you, thank you and thank you for you...I love you so much.  I choose to be thankful as I have so much to be thankful for, and through it all I can see how big you are.  I open my heart fully to you, asking and receiving your love in all areas of my heart.  I give everything over to you completely, today and everyday.  No more hiding, no more doubt ... but rather my mind, heart and soul fully devoted to you - and thank you for receiving it always. 

So on this very special day I say THANK YOU GOD for all these things, and blessing our son with another birthday.  Thank you for being the perfect parent in His life.  This special day we celebrate the evidence of YOU in his life.

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY ELIJAH!!!!!!

This Crazy Journey called Life - Part One

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much these days.  If I had to post a couple of weeks ago, I know it would have been a pretty depressing post.  I didn't know what God had for us, and felt so lost, as I have hidden the secret that the three children we thought were coming to our home are not.  I wondered if I am hearing God correctly as it was, and was afraid to hear comments from my readers as to "another adoption journey to an end" or even sense your judgement.  I felt forgotten and bruised from hitting another brick wall. 

I am also at that age where my girls are older, more self-confident (which is what we want for them), and wondering ... what is my purpose now?

I didn't want to hear every one's two cents.  I wanted to hear God and only God.

I have an addiction.  I look at children who need to be adopted constantly.  It seems that there was this panic inside of me, that I need to find the right child God has for our home.  The stress of "is this the one" constantly weighed on me. 

And then God showed up ...

First, I was shown sin in my life that I had to make right with God.  I had allowed the enemies lies in, and started to believe them.  I was constantly saying "I'm not hearing God", when the truth was; I was.  But I kept denying God, and believing what I was saying.  My life with God was quiet because I had chose it, not Him.  Repentance and forgiveness was in order.

And then I was able to hear God clearly...

God showed me a woman, who I have envied and became jealous of.  I couldn't even have conversations with this woman because of my jealousy.  You see, this woman started the adoption process at the same time we had.  Hers came together lickity split.  Ours is ... well, you know that story.  She had her family.  She went after what was on her heart, and had completion.  Her journey was hard, as she dealt with RAD and other issues that came into their home with the child.  She even gave me words of advice, that were negative and not encouraging because of the hardships she was dealing with.  She has had this child for over a year.  But now ... this woman has had to let this child go.  This child didn't work out in their home, and she is feeling really depressed over her loss.  I'm sure she has questioned everything.

God asked me "are you jealous of her now"?    And the truth is - "no, no I'm not".  I hurt for her.  I don't want to experience the pain she is in now, have all the questions that are running through her head or hurting as a mom of the disappointment it has left her other children.  No, I am far from jealous now. 

God gives us our stories.  God gives us our victories in the right time for them.  God gives us our break through, when we are ready to see Him as the One who is able.  God knows what we can handle, and knows what exactly we need to learn to equip us on the journey He has us on.  God loves us.  God protects us.  God knows us better than we know ourselves.  And God knows the bigger picture!

The rush I am on to get a child into our home in the way of adoption, has been tilted off.  I have discovered that God's ways are best.  He knows what child should be in our home.  He knows what family each orphan needs.  He is the perfect matchmaker.

I was also reminded from God, that He did not put "adoption" on my heart, but rather a little boy named Elijah on my heart.  Ruth became the added bonus.   I'm not to pursue adoption.  I'm not to pursue even Elijah and Ruth, as He has made it clear to let them go in His hands.  What I have learned is that I am to pursue Him.  So these past few weeks, as our posting has been non-existent, that is exactly what I've been doing.  Pursuing Him.  Finding Him.  Finding Peace.  Finding Love.  Finding Protection.  Finding a new passion in Him.  If He puts another child on our hearts He'll show us.  I can remain in confidence of that, as I am pursuing Him.

I have so much more to share of this journey I am on.  But for now, I'll let you ponder these words.  And give you your own chance to pursue Him. 

Wondering...

"When will it be our turn?"  A constant question that comes to mind more lately. 

We get the privilege of congratulating many of our friends on the pregnancy and births of their babies.  Some of our friends we have been able to congratulate duplicate and multiple times since we started our journey to adopt.  Truly, I am so happy for my friends.  To see their joy on their faces, the excitement as they embark on a new adventure is truly a joy to see and watch.  A new journey has begun for all of them.  I can honestly say, parenting becomes them very, very well!

We have watched others build their family through adoption.  There story of the adoption journey has ended, and a new journey has just begun.  It is exciting to hear the joys they experiences.

Can I be honest with you?  Can I just say, we desperately want our next journey to begin too!  I think of Lindsay's last year and a half at home, and Katie and Courtney still in a age where they are available, before the craziness of high school life begins. 

But then I remind myself ... God's time is perfect.  So I wait.  I wait with the Lord.

I watch as others experience the first smiles, first steps, first school days, birthdays and holidays ... and I can't help but wonder.  What will it be like?  What will it be like to take Elijah to his first baseball game?  What will it be like to have our first tea party with Ruthie?  What favorite meals are they going to request at dinner time?  I can't help but wonder.

I was asked the other day, if our dog is to replace the kids we are waiting for.  Just in case you are wondering the same thing ... no he isn't.  We don't replace kids with dogs.  There is a clear difference for us.  Sometimes I wonder, as people watch us and wonder, if we are to just stop living until the day arrives.  I don't believe that is what God wants for us.  We are to continue living.

So that is what we will continue to do ... to live our life as God leads.  But I will be honest ... I still will wonder ...

Three Years Today

I never would have thought I would marking this as an anniversary...but it has turned into one.  We thought we would be a family of seven by now ... not just in our hearts but physically as well.  We continue to rest on God's timing and the knowing it is perfect.  But believe me, we have tried and continue trying for God's mind to be set to sooner rather than any later.

How does one celebrate this day?  How do we mark this day, and one full of thanksgiving and joy not one of doom and gloom?

My husband stayed home today.  It wasn't something planned, but he knew he needed to be with me today.  Not just for this day, but just because.  We went to the pastor's weekly meeting today and they prayed over our situation and over us.  Today we remember that three years ago, God laid a little boy on our hearts and we obeyed His prompting and we committed to him.  Three years ago, God changed our lives.  Even though our arms continue to be empty, we are grateful for the faith God has increased in our lives and the strength, peace and protection He continues to provide.

So yes, today is three years our family hasn't been complete (at least physically).  But more importantly three years ago our family has been in the palm of God's hands on a hard journey and it has been only Him that has carried us through.  We are forever grateful! 

(Don't forget to turn the music off at the bottom of our blog page!)

There Are No Words To Describe ...

We have mixed emotions when we receive pictures of our kids.  We love seeing them - seeing that they are still there waiting for us.  But then we are torn that they are still there.

This time we received a letter in the mail a couple of days ago.  It reduced us to tears.

What I Miss...

I miss the way you hold on to me as you call me "Mama".

I miss your smile and the way you laugh.

I miss holding you.

I miss you being my constant shadow.

I miss reading to you.

I miss taking care of you.

I miss watching you play with your cars and holding your doll.

I miss seeing you.

I miss watching you on your Daddy's shoulders and him giving you "horse rides".

I miss seeing you read the Bible with your Daddy.

I miss how quick you talk, and me trying to catch every word you say.

I miss hearing you sing "Yes, Lord, Yes Lord, Yes, yes, Lord!".

I miss hearing you sing with confidence knowing your Heavenly Father hears you.

I miss you pushing others away from me, so you may have me all to yourself.

I miss even your pout and crying to get your way.

I miss watching you as you talk to your Papa, and looking for him to come and get you.

I miss your call in the early morning hours.

I miss watching you learn your letters and how to write them, using your left hand.

I miss tucking you in bed at night.

I miss the sound of your breathing.

I miss seeing you in your room, across from ours.

I miss knowing you are fed and taken care of when you aren't feeling well.

I miss watching you run after your friends or carried by the older girls.

I miss playing with you.

I miss seeing you in our family pictures.

I miss having you on our family outings and vacations.

I miss talking to you.

I miss you copying things I say.

I miss watching you play and interact with your sisters.

I miss seeing you play with your new friend down the street.

I miss introducing you to new things, and watching you experiencing them.

I miss telling you how much I love you, and you knowing you are loved.

Oh, Elijah and Ruthie ... how much I do miss you both! 

Another Care Package

We received word that another family is going over to the orphanage in Liberia where Elijah and Ruthie are, and the family is willing to take packages to the kids.  So of course we scrambled and sent them our love with coloring pages and pens, stickers, tractor and plane (for Elijah) and dolls (for Ruthie), animal cookies, clothes and of course a new picture book with a bunch of messages from their family.

We anxiously await their arrival one of these days. God has restored our hope, and as long as our eyes are fixed on Him we are able to endure. But still we pray...God please let all this "be finished", may Your will be done, hear and feel my heart and help us to keep pressing on. God we love you, trust you and will continue to place our hope in You alone.

God Always Shows Up Because He is Always There!

So be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.

For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.

He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (New Living Translation)

This verse was waiting for me in my email today. A verse I know, and a verse that is always on my heart. A verse that reminds me everyday God will never leave me or forsake me. He is there - always! But it wasn't until this evening, I understood why my spirit was "nudged" this morning as I read it.

I have confessed in previous posts how I have battled with our adoption. How I have had to let Elijah go more and more, and not even knowing how I have picked up this battle. I know he is in better hands than I can even offer, but I would lie to you if I say things are hunky doory. In spite of the heartache it brings to not have Elijah home we do have peace. And as we pray each day, may God's will be done!

I am a black and white thinker. If I can't have Elijah home, then let us move on...let us let him go. And I try. I believe it is my weakness and my heartache that tries to let it go so I can move on and try and get over the pain of this wait. I remember a day full of emotions over our Liberian children and I knew I just had to let them go once again. This time instead of just letting them go I wanted to walk away. That particular day we went to a Kari Jobe concert...their outreach ... orphan care, and behind the worship song lyrics up on the screen were Elijah's eyes looking right at me. Coincidence? No! God? Oh, yes!!!

Another time, I was in a state of despair and anguish. I surrendered all this adoption stuff once again to my Heavenly Father, and confessed I just couldn't do this anymore. "I can't...please don't make me" were the words off my lips. My heart was done. I shouldered the weight of disappointment from Duane and the girls, which only made all the emotions of this journey that much more painful. The next day our congressman phoned and emailed to help us out in our plight. Coincidence? No way!!! God? Absolutely!!!

It is these times of surrender God has shown Himself over and over again. And shown us His will and desire to carry this load of ours.

So today our adoption continues to be held by His hands. No others.

Unfortunately, I can't stop the emails. Emails that draw us to stay on top of things. I prayerfully answer them now for I want to remain in obedience to the One who has it all under control. However, I see them and emotions still arise. Some bring hope and excitement, others bring anguish. Today was one of those days.

Our recent fight is with the US government. So I pray. I act on what He tells me. And I remain still until He tells me what to do. Today we received an email from the US embassy stating a document that is needed. A document that was sent in four months ago, still waiting for a response. Without it there is no proof...just one word against another. I found myself overwhelmed - to say the very least. I was discouraged. I was angry. And so, so tired thinking of the road ahead.

I wondered again if God really wanted this adoption to perceed.

So I sat still today as I was knocked off my feet. I remained overwhelmed as to where I even start with this leg of our journey ...what do we do? Which office do we contact? What phone number do we use? Will our congresswoman help us? And may I just add the immigration part of this adoption is as clear as mud for me, only making me that much more confussed and overwhelmed. Once again, I couldn't do it.

I was on the phone with our agency this evening - preparing the first steps to tackle this. At the end of the phone call, Duane came home from work and waved something at me. We received the EXACT paperwork that was needed. This particular battle we were set up to fight, had already been won! God did all the work and I did nothing!

God continues to show Himself to us. He has everything all under control. We truly don't have to lift one finger.

So I look back at Deuteronomy 31:6 and remember. God is always with us...He didn't show up tonight, He's always been. He showed His glory and His poweronce again tonight! His presence is always with us and our circumstances. He remains. And He is so so good!

But I think of you, as I had the need to share with you. I think of you, because I know there is someone who is struggling, overwhelmed, in anguish and full of despair. I want you to know that isn't what God wants for you. I ask you to surrender it all to Him, the One who is able and willing to carry your load for you. His love wipes each tear from your eyes, and wants so desperately for you to crawl up into His lap. Will you? Please don't miss out! He is so so good and has already won the battle for you!

Family Mission Trip to Liberia

November 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

My sisters and I send our love to each one of you, and are thankful for each one of you in our lives.

We have already finished our first quarter in school. And as always, we are looking forward to the coming months as we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas…and of course, having some time off from school. Our school has a mission statement: To be boldly Christian, academically equipped and globally prepared. I have realized how much I have taken for granted; simply by attending a Christian school throughout our lives. I am thankful I have been able to. I see how our school is not only giving me the academics needed to go to college but is also a place where I feel safe to represent Christ freely and give Him all the glory He deserves. As I look back on my education I see how my school has given me a foundation in Christ and an education to prepare me to go out into the world.

For the past 2 yrs and 2 months we have been waiting for my brother, Elijah and my sister, Ruthie to come home. Through this waiting time my sisters and I have prayed and learned about Liberia. Our mommy got to go to Liberia at the beginning of this year and we have been able to see Liberia through her pictures. In this time we have developed a heart for the country that our brother and sister call “home”. We wanted to make this Christmas special. So with that, we decided to go to Liberia and bring Christmas not only to Elijah and Ruth but also the other orphans in the home.

My Mommy and Daddy have work to do for our adoption agency as well. You see, the agency just got finished completing a new orphanage which has classrooms in addition to the bedrooms. They need to help train the nurse how to do some paperwork and also help set up the classrooms. They also need to help the workers develop a routine. My sisters and I would like to do a VBS, as well as bring some Christmas cheer to their lives. We want to meet the Liberian people and experience their culture. Through a lot of prayer we have seen God open a door for us to go.

My sisters and I have sold several locker shelves that my Daddy has made. That has only been a small start to the funds needed to travel. We are hoping to be selling note cards and t-shirts soon. But still in spite of our efforts to raise money, we still need your help. We need to raise 15,000.00 in one month. That seems impossible to me but I am reminded in Phillipians 4: 13 “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me”. My family and I are expecting to see God do something great!

We are asking for your help. If you are able to help provide towards our mission trip to Liberia we say THANK YOU! Please send your provision to Archibald Family. Our first request for our mission trip is God’s provision and all the details to simply work out. We are in the process of gathering our prayer supporters and be able to send our requests out to our team. Please be part of our team, and email us at archiengirls@msn.com. We will also be posting on our family’s blog.

Thank you for your support! We all look forward to sharing with you everything God is going to be doing in the next few months.

In Christ’s Love,
Lindsay Archibald

Another Birthday

We never thought that a little over two years ago when we found this little boy we would be celebrating his 5th birthday without him. However, we are so grateful to the One who has remained faithful by continued protection, care, love and provision throughout this journey. We celebrate another year older, and our God who is!

We have had news this past couple of weeks, but we were hesitant in sharing. We know there are people who watch our story and don't understand the ups and downs that come with the road we are on (which is simply part of this territory). Our story isn't about us. Our story isn't even about Elijah or Ruth. Our story is about the God who is the author of it, and it is He that we want to keep our eyes focused upon.

There has been much chatter that the Liberian government is releasing those children that had court decrees before January 2009. Elijah falls into this catagory! We are very excited about the news, but it doesn't stop us praying. We need prayers now more than ever. We are also praying for God's favor that Ruthie can be "added on" to all the documents so she too can come home with her brother.

So with this post we wish our son a very Happy Birthday and may his and our wish of him coming home, be sooner than later! We love you, Elijah!

Today Is The Day

Well, the day has come. The day I was hoping to avoid is looking at me right in my face. I see the calendar. Today is here...whether I wanted it or not.

Some adoptive parents mark their anniversary's of starting their journey by when they actually started taking the first "baby steps" (that could be really discouraging for us for it has been years and years since we have started that), some mark it when it was laid upon their hearts (that started before we were even married...so it is going on 17+ years)...but we mark it by when we called the agency and said "Yes, Elijah belongs to us." So with that being said, today is the day we celebrate 2 years since we have accepted Elijah's referral.

How do we approach this day? How do we deal with this day? How do we look back and see what was suppose to be a 7-12 months ordeal, now a 2 year and counting ordeal? How do we face the doubts of those who are watching us and reading this blog? This is how we choose...

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice an be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24
and

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances..."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Yes, that is right. Today we choose to remain in joy. Today we choose to be thankful. We will pray, but there will be a celebration of thankfulness and joy in it. Let me share with you part of my prayer journal.

"Father God, people are watching us, watching our situation with this adoption. They don't see your victory because Elijah and Ruth aren't here, and God there are days I fall into this same lie. But today I claim your victory once again. I continue to walk in obedience to you. I have seen that you have NOT closed doors, but rather OPENED the doors that have increased my faith. God, in the beginning of this journey I thought I knew you, but now I see where I stand and look back and see that I didn't know you at all. "

I remain in joy for I have seen my faith increase in this journey. I remain thankful for the intimacy I share with our Savior.

I remain in joy for I have the full armor of God on: I have the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, my feet fitted with gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. (Ephesians 6:11-18) I remain thankful for the all His provisions.

I remain in joy for my God fills me with that joy. I remain thankful for He remains good.

I remain in joy for this battle is not mine, but HIS. And He is victorious. And for that alone I give Him thanks.

We remain in joy for how He has grown this family through the past two years. I am thankful our family stands together and will give Him our all in all.

We remain in joy for the favor God has for our agency. And we will thank God for the agency our children and we are apart of, and for God's grace and compassion that is shown through it.

We have much joy to be part of lives in another part of the world, lives who are celebrating the God we serve together...even with them there, and us here. We will give thanks for the staff at the orphanage, who continues to work even though there are no funds to cover what they are doing.

We are joyful for God is our Protector. We will give thanks that our children are safe and under a brand new building and playing in a play yard.

We are joyful for our God is a compassionate God, and full of abundance. We will give thanks that God has given us an abundance...for we started this journey with one child and now have two!

We will remain in joy for our God listens. We will give thanks for the answered prayers as we received the court decree and passport for our son, and the answers soon to come.

We will remain in joy for our God is building His people up. We will give thanks as our whole family has the heart to go and experience the Liberian life as our other children only know.

We will be joyful for our God has redeemed the five of us here, individually, in our marriage, and as a family. We will give thanks, as our marriage has flourished and become even stronger through this added stress of waiting as well as our financial state.

We remain in joy through the strength of our Lord. We will give thanks for God has been our strength through all this. He has not only wiped each tear that has fallen, but knows the exact number we have shed. He has given us patience and joy. He has been our Sustainer.

We are joyful and give thanks for our God has remained Faithful. He has never left us nor forsaken us.

Today we pour out our joy and our thanks upon a God who is Faithful, Good, Just, and Compassionate, and we have the privilege to call Him our Father and Friend. And because of the God He is, we have joy and reason to be thankful.

Our Latest Picture...

Some fellow adoptive parents made a trip to Liberia to help finish the orphanage project. We opened their pictures the other day and this is what we found...please look on ONLY if you can see it with laughter, ONLY if you could look past the tears and see their personalities. From a mom who has met her kids, and knows their personalities....this made me laugh out loud....