The Treasure of Jesus, and We are the Key.

It was during the end of Lent season that our son started asking us questions.  He came up to me when I was standing at the fireplace and he told me "Jesus is dead.".  I told him, "no, Jesus is alive.".  We continued to have this little debate, and he was adamant about Jesus being dead.  I finally told him:  "Well, it is in your Bible".  He challenged me:  "Prove it!".  And I did.

A whole new world opened for him and me that day. 

You have to understand something else about our son.  Even though he is in fifth grade, he is at about a 1st/2nd grade reading level.  He struggles with hearing the phonics of reading and he was never given the foundation we all take for granted.  You also have to know that he received a Bible at a church camp a couple years back, and carries it around.  He chooses it over other Bibles I have given him that are his reading level.  And you have to know our son has dealt with trauma, and longs to just know the truth.

Our son came down with Bible in hand, I was able to turn right to the Easter story and read it off the Bible he has treasured so much.  I saw something new and I was astonished. 

This treasure that our son has had in his hands for years was never unlocked to him because of illiteracy, the ripped and tattered pages were now a new found treasure, and we were the key to help unlock it.  It was truth that I have never seen before...no betrayal, no lies but everything was set right before him.  And now all his answers were just words away.

And the questions began.  We sat and read the Easter story.  We pulled out our Resurrection Eggs and another book that helped explain the beauty of Jesus and what he did at a child's level.  Everything was new this year.  So many questions and so many answers.

We decided to attend our Easter service on Sunday morning, not at the Saturday night service we normally attend.  And we decided to go to the church plant we have called home for the past several months.  So because of our decision we watched our previous church online, and our son saw several people come forward.  He questioned about it.  And I explained in a simple way, how all those people decided to believe in Jesus and the Easter story and accept it as truth in their hearts. 

I had a thought wouldn't it be nice if our son would accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior on Easter Sunday.  But as quick as that thought came, I pushed it aside.  I said "No, I'm not going to force the issue.  What happens, happens.  I don't need to be involved, for it has to be meaningful for the one who receives and the One who gives."

Easter Sunday came.  We celebrated.  We rejoiced.  We bonded that Easter morning.  Our son decided to sit with us during church, and as the sermon was preached he asked for help to find the verses the pastor was referring to in the Bible.  And then that moment came.  The pastor asked if those who want a relationship with Jesus who never had one before would raise their hands.  And as our heads were bowed, and I had my arm draped around our son, I felt something flying in my face ....

my son's hand.  I looked at him, in bewilderment and he told me "I have never done it before".  I looked at Duane, he looked at me and the tears began. 

My son has taught me so much.  I have taken for granted the treasure I have always had access to, and have even allowed to collect dust now and then.  I
have seen a heart that was hungry, a heart that has been lied to and betrayed long for the truth, and we were the key to unlocking that truth.  I have learned that as much as he needs us...we need him.  Jesus is the center of our relationship.

And now is the center of our son's heart. 

The Old is Gone - Today I am Made New

I can't sleep tonight because today was such an awesome day.  It was one of those days I had least expected ... a matter of fact, it didn't go according to my plan what so ever (otherwise I wouldn't have worn white).

I love going to church.  It isn't because of the act of going, but rather because I love to come and see what exactly God has either to confirm to me, or teach me.  Last night I went to church and heard something I have been wrestling with for a long, long time and frankly didn't like it at all.  It was "Jesus, the face of God".

I can't say that I really know how it begun.  Some could say when my birth-father left, others otherwise.  But all I can say is that somewhere along the line I have picked up so much shame and guilt, that I can not look anyone straight in the eye for very long.  (This has even been an issue in our marriage.)  You see, I know I mess up so much, and I know I hurt so many, especially the ones I love.  Doing so, I know I hurt God.  I'm ashamed for it.  Even though God doesn't rank one sin larger than another, I do and consider mine and carry shame.  But through all my journey I just never considered God looking into my face with much admiration, but instead with shame.  So somewhere along the line, I stopped looking. 

I have seen God's feet, felt His hands, embraced by even His hug ... but never have dared to look into His face.  I couldn't bear His shame.  Not looking kept me safe.

So I wrestled with everything our pastor said.  I struggled so much, that I even gave up.  I decided that I would never be able to be closer than I am right now to God.  Shame separated us. 

I have carried so much shame and thoughts of God's disgust on me,  that I believed I was the reason Elijah and Ruthie weren't here.  I wasn't a good enough mom for the three I have, let alone for two that aren't biologically mine.  I wasn't good enough at so many things that God probably thought best if they just didn't come home.  The weight I was carrying was killing me.

Duane and Katie went to church this morning because they went to hike a 14er yesterday.  Duane asked me if I wanted to go with them to church again this morning when I returned home from church last night.  Normally I would love to go, but I knew I couldn't lift my face toward God or believe God could lovingly look at me so I declined.  I woke this morning with the same amount of shame and guilt I went to bed with last night.  I also knew that if I wanted to have any time with Duane, I had to go to church with him this morning.  My plans for the day couldn't happen until Katie was back home.  So I went. 

I wanted to praise as I usually do, and ignore what I knew was coming.  But our pastor decided to switch things up a bit.  He believed God wanted the worship to be a response to God's message.  I sat.  I remembered.  I remembered all the disappointments that caused so many people to turn their eyes away from me.  I remembered all the people who have disappointed me.  But still, deep inside I longed to look into my Father's eyes and His into mine. 

During worship, I extended my two hands to remove any shame and guilt I was carrying, so I could release it and at least try and get closer to God.  And then I heard it.  The pastor mentioned "that we are washed away from the guilt and shame, that we could come into His presence..."  That is all it took.  I knew what God was calling me to.  I knew what I was to do.

I was out of my seat.  I went to a pastor, I explained and asked. 

Before long, I was sitting in the baptismal before hundreds of people and confessing I am ready for the old self of shame and guilt, and the orphan spirit I have held onto to be washed away because I want to see the face of God.  The pastor reminded me that as God's daughter I was adopted into His family.  Adopted - chosen.  Then it was done.  I was baptized, and all this junk was left in the water.  Today God made me new.

Today for the first time - I can look into my Father's eyes and see Him looking back at me.

So tonight I'm not sleeping because I keep looking at the face of God and I marvel.  I don't want to close my eyes for I've missed His face for so long.  Tonight when I did attempt to close my eyes and sleep I heard the word "safe" loud and clear.  Starting today I am now safe with my Father, I am exposed and vulnerable.  Today I am safe in the face of God ... Jesus. 

I encourage you to listen to the message by going to the following link ... http://www.rez.org/flvplayer/ .  (The message should be up in the next day or two.)

Are you ready?

Ask, and God will give to you.  Search, and you will find.  Knock, and the door will open for you.  Yes, everyone who asks will receive.  Everyone who searches will find.  And everyone who knocks will  have the door opened.  Matthew 7:7-8

I sat with God this morning.  My favorite place to be, and my favorite way to start my day.  I did have second thoughts before I headed to my "God" chair, for I had so much to do today.  But I knew I needed Him before any of the things I had to do.  It is only Him that can help me get through those things to do today.

I shared with you that I gave up facebook for 40 days, only turn on the computer between 12pm-5pm (mountain time), don't check emails from my phone unless I'm expecting something specific and I'm away from the computer, we don't turn on the TV unless to watch a show we are all into or a movie, and then off it goes.  I only have a week left until the 40 day mark will come to an end.  As I approached this fast, it was because I wanted to hear God so much clearer than I had.  I didn't want to hear all the "voices" I meet on facebook, emails, TV, etc.  I only wanted Him.  So as this fast comes to an end I can only say one thing... I sought, and He answered!

As I approached this fast, I expected to experience God ... but never did I think I would experience Him as much, nor as life changing as I have!  I am so thankful it was on our high-school pastors heart to challenge the kids and that I accepted this challenge, for this fast was just that - life-changing.  So even though these 40 days are almost over, I don't want to go back!  And I don't think I will.  Sure I may look on facebook now and then.  But I enjoy writing on the blog more than posting my status on facebook.  The hours will remain the same for when the computer will be on.  TV will also remain the same and as well as my phone access.  Because to tell you the truth - it's not these things I desire, but Him alone!

Not only have I heard and experienced the voice of God.  But He has done something I never could quite understand ... He has increased my faith.  My boast is in Him alone, and my love for Him just bursts within me!

So now I pass on this challenge for you ... are you ready?  What technology, lifestyle or even food is controlling you and taking you away from the voice of God?  Are you ready?  Give it up for 40 days, and seek Him.  I promise you, you will find Him!

Psalm 103 (Karen's version)

My whole being, all that I am -flesh, mind and spirit praise the Lord.  All that I am praise His holy name.
My whole being, everything you made me to be will praise the Lord and never forget all the kindness you have shown me over and over again.
You have forgiven all my sins and continue to do so.
You have healed me from thoughts of suicide, foot problems twice, gluten sensitivity and other things so numerous to mention.  You have healed Courtney from her stomach issues, Katie from headaches and neck issues related to her concussion and have also ended all her nose bleeds.  You are showing yourself to Lindsay and will heal her from her plantar warts on her feet.  You are a God who heals, because of the abounding love you have for us.
You have saved my life over and lover again, saving me from the enemy and you have filled me to overflowing of your love and mercy.
You have poured good things in my life, where I have found your protection guarding me and your peace all around me.  Your joy brings a spring in my step, making me young.  You are the wind beneath my wings and I soar with you like an eagle.

Lord, you continue to show your mercy and kindness over and over again.  You aren't quick to become angry for your love for your people is so great.
Oh God, I deserve even death for the sins I have done - through action, thoughts, and words I have spoken.  Yet, you have never repaid me for these things, as it would be justified by man.  You not once, have taken one smidgen of love from me because of my crimes.
Your love remains, and is so great the whole earth can't contain it.  Your love continues to shine through to all who respect you.
It is through your love you have removed my sins - as far as the east is to the west, and the west is to the east.  My sins are no more!
Your mercy remains on your children who love and respect you.
You remember how you created each one of us, how you knit us together each to the specifications you have designed.  You remember and you love us.

Oh God, your love remains upon all who love and respect you.  My heart is full of love for you, for it is You that has first loved me.
Your goodness will continue through the generations to come and because you always remain faithful!

Everything you, Lord God have made praise your name!  May the birds sing their love songs to you, the grass rustle it's praise to you.  May the sun, moon and stars shine for your glory alone.  May even the rocks stand in awe of you!  For you God, deserve all the praise!  May my whole being - flesh, emotions, thoughts and spirit sing all praise to you - the One most high and highly to deserve!

 

Reclaiming Our Family

Where do we even begin? I have not been kidding in the past few posts when confessing the chaos our family has been in. We have had someone sick constantly for the past two months, we have endeared financial strain, had a huge education decision to make, major crisis at Duane's work, Courtney's childhood health issues have resurfaced, and the list goes on. Through everything we are just plain exhausted, which makes it all that much harder to get through.

We have remained quiet, and have been put on our knees. Truly, there isn't a better place to be. Does that make life easier? No, but much more manageable.

Through prayer, bible study, journaling and listening - we have seen something that alarmed us. We are living in the future ... definitely not in the present. I believe it started the same time we committed to Elijah. We put everything on hold by saying "we'll do this when Elijah & Ruthie are home...", for example. Life has been on hold because we have stopped living. I haven't even taken a family picture because I keep thinking that Elijah and Ruthie will be home, and we'll just do it then. Honestly, the intentions are good (I'm always trying to save a dollar), but through the savings, we forgot about the treasures we have. You know those treasures we take for granted: the gift of a marriage, the beauty of three girls, the good health we are given, the wonder of creation and the best yet ... God's son, Jesus. When we stopped living, we put these things aside too.

Duane and I have been working so hard to "reclaim our family" (our current purpose statement). Because we have endured so much stress in the past few months, we are trying to reduce it. We are trying to do what is right for our family, and not the others down the street or those sitting in the same pew as us on Sunday morning. Through it we are trying to be prepared for the unforeseen stress that comes into the family, but most of all to bring our family together once again. Some of the things we have done are: we have decided next school year to put Katie and Lindsay in the public schools near our home , and Courtney to be home schooled. This will naturally put us at home more, and lessen the strain from our commute. It will also put me, the peacemaker of the home to do just that...help create an atmosphere of peace. Home schooling will not be easy, and add it's own kind of stress but we will reap its benefits and know it is best for Courtney at this time. The change will naturally help us financially as well, as we can focus at getting out of debt. As long as we continue to owe, there isn't peace. Duane and I will also have more time to put aside for each other. We are both looking forward to this. If we aren't healthy in our relationship, the whole family will crumble and fall in the littlest strain that comes our way. And too, we have realized we haven't taken a true vacation for the past seven years. Duane's company has had a major catastrophe that didn't allow our original plans of a great vacation to work, but as we said to the girls ... "it doesn't matter where we are, but that we are together and learn how to laugh again". So with that we are escaping over the next few days.

As we stand guard to what may come our way, and as we try and get our life back in the present, I can't help but be thankful. For I am thankful that God doesn't put me on hold as He waits for another person or event. I am thankful that I have a God that has it all together, and takes the time to live with and through each of us. I am thankful He is my Redeemer and has claimed our family over and over again. And in my thankfulness, I will take His lead, and learn to stay in the current time and His presence.

So as for you...you'll have to hold out about all the things we have been doing in our life, or what we are working toward doing. Today, we hold onto each other, as He is holding onto us and we are taking some time for a little get-away. See you later!

What if?

Out of no where, our family has been hit. I don't want to give any recognition in the thief who came to steal and destroy, but rather confess where I have been.

• I have a way of seeing what is in front of me as truth.
• I still struggle with making a connection in Colorado. It seems to be an ongoing struggle. I have met many people, but still long to have a relationship where I can call to go out for a cup of coffee or go shopping with, or better yet - they call me. I allowed jealousy and envy come into our marriage, because of it. I even let confusion come into our family as to where our place of worship should even be. Connection...everyone longs for it, to have identity and be recognized.
• In a matter of a few hours, I was facing some health issues in a routine exam and the health of our youngest was resurfacing once again, which brought on doubt in the decisions we made when she was just three. I even questioned my mothering.
• At that same doctor's visit I was all of a sudden dealing with things I have already dealt with (spiritually) and thought it was all over. I was reminded of my lack of identity and condemned because of it. I was labeled over and over, never seeing one of them coming.

After seeking some prayer, and casting off the enemy's lies, I have come to praise the God I have. Through prayer and praising I am restored. Today I heard two words - what if. I didn't quite understand these words until I stewed over them a while longer as I continued to seek God.

What if ... I saw things beyond what is in front of me, if I saw things through the One who is able?

What if ... I didn't focus on connection, but rather trusted God who moved us here and rested in that?

What if ... I am allowed to experience the loss of connection, the lack of conversation, the fellowship with a friend so I may experience the heart of Gods'?

What if ... I wasn't jealous of Duane's connections and lifestyle, and yet was thankful He has blessed my husband so, and made Duane more connected to his family, and a stronger spirtual leader in our home because of this relocation?

What if ... I wasn't so quick to look elsewhere for connection but stayed where I was and allowed God to connect with me?

What if ... I remained in the peace God gave us many years ago as our daughter was given the right doctors and surgeons and through the decisions we made?

What if ... I sought the Healer who ultimately healed our daughter, and rested in the knowing He could heal her and me again?

What if ... I allowed God to come in and remind me that I am His, and that is my identity?

As I pondered these "what ifs", I found the answer to the question I have been searching for - I would be in the place God wants us all to be in - a place with Him, and a place of praise!

Today I will continue to praise God for He is faithful and true. I praise Him for His provisions and protection. I praise Him for His heart to be a forever best-friend in my life, who is interested in me, caring, compassionate and always ready for a conversation. I praise God for His creation in Duane and our family, and how I can see Him doing good things in each of us. I praise God that He can fix all things, provide all things so I don't have to! I praise God for He can be seen each day. I praise God who heals because of the abundance of love He has for each of us. I praise God for my salvation and His acceptance that I am His. He is worthy of ALL my praise!

Now, if you excuse me... I am going to run to have a cup of hot chocolate and some long awaited conversation with my best-friend!

Thankful for a visit that brought healing....

I can't believe it has been over a month since I posted last! So much has been going on, and there is so much to share. Our life remains full of school activities, church and just plain life. Juggling the five of our schedules is a full time job in itself.

Since I posted, I celebrated my mile-stone birthday...one I'm still in denial about, but was surprised when I awoke and felt "normal" as any other day! It was an amazing thing! Our family kept my celebration quiet and simple. As I opened my cards from the girls, tears began flowing for they each recognized my role in their spiritual walk. I hadn't a clue that I was able to help them in ways I hadn't realized, but felt God's hand upon me as I read each note. Duane's gift took me by surprise. Duane realized how much I have missed my friend, he has observed that when we do get a chance to talk, we talk for 1 1/2 hrs or until the battery dies...which ever comes first. He knows the heart we share. He knows how hard it was to leave California leaving her behind. He also knows that the grief we both share over the loss of her daughter not only has been heavy in our hearts, but also another thing that has kept us apart. So his gift for me was great...sending her out to visit. What I don't think he knew was how much healing was going to take place in four days.

Janette, my friend came to visit. We had the ultimate sleepover for four nights...hardly any sleep, so much talking, some eating and much more talking...tears and laughter were shared. I anticipated her visit to be one of healing, and now I am so thankful we had that time. This was our first visit that it would only be the three of us...Janette, me and Lindsay; it had always been the four of us...Janette, me, Rachel and Lindsay. Since Rachel has left to be with our Maker she took so much of our hearts and we simply miss her so much. But our friends here in Colorado, just haven't been able to comprehend our loss. You see they think they have seen all of me and Lindsay, but in reality they hadn't because Janette and Rachel are so much apart of who we are, that they haven't seen the complete picture. We were finally able to reminisce, to tell stories, and just simply let our hearts go. Rachel came back alive as we continued to reminisce, and though we shared so many tears, healing came as each tear flowed.

One of the memories we share with Janette and Rachel is hosting the children from the Children of the World Choir when the school would bring them in for a concert each year. It was Rachel's desire and inspiration that drove her family to host some children in her home, welcoming them into their lives and sharing not only her home but her heart. This is one of the ways she demonstrated Matthew 28: 19-20; going out into the world and shared Christ by being the child of God she was. So in memory of Rachel we brought the Watoto Children's Choir to Resurrection Christian School. No one knew why we did what we did, but we knew having a choir there would bring healing to Lindsay, to me and would very much please Rachel. We hoped that the school would enjoy it as well...and to our amazement they did. So please enjoy this snippet of our gift to Rachel...

And true to form we had the privilege to host six Ugandans in our home. We celebrated their culture as we shared ours, and became family as God is the Father of us all. We also celebrated Katie's birthday that evening. What a memory it was for her too!

He is the healer of the broken hearted, our comforter and encourager ... it is He why we are so thankful.

Today Is The Day

Well, the day has come. The day I was hoping to avoid is looking at me right in my face. I see the calendar. Today is here...whether I wanted it or not.

Some adoptive parents mark their anniversary's of starting their journey by when they actually started taking the first "baby steps" (that could be really discouraging for us for it has been years and years since we have started that), some mark it when it was laid upon their hearts (that started before we were even married...so it is going on 17+ years)...but we mark it by when we called the agency and said "Yes, Elijah belongs to us." So with that being said, today is the day we celebrate 2 years since we have accepted Elijah's referral.

How do we approach this day? How do we deal with this day? How do we look back and see what was suppose to be a 7-12 months ordeal, now a 2 year and counting ordeal? How do we face the doubts of those who are watching us and reading this blog? This is how we choose...

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice an be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24
and

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances..."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Yes, that is right. Today we choose to remain in joy. Today we choose to be thankful. We will pray, but there will be a celebration of thankfulness and joy in it. Let me share with you part of my prayer journal.

"Father God, people are watching us, watching our situation with this adoption. They don't see your victory because Elijah and Ruth aren't here, and God there are days I fall into this same lie. But today I claim your victory once again. I continue to walk in obedience to you. I have seen that you have NOT closed doors, but rather OPENED the doors that have increased my faith. God, in the beginning of this journey I thought I knew you, but now I see where I stand and look back and see that I didn't know you at all. "

I remain in joy for I have seen my faith increase in this journey. I remain thankful for the intimacy I share with our Savior.

I remain in joy for I have the full armor of God on: I have the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, my feet fitted with gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. (Ephesians 6:11-18) I remain thankful for the all His provisions.

I remain in joy for my God fills me with that joy. I remain thankful for He remains good.

I remain in joy for this battle is not mine, but HIS. And He is victorious. And for that alone I give Him thanks.

We remain in joy for how He has grown this family through the past two years. I am thankful our family stands together and will give Him our all in all.

We remain in joy for the favor God has for our agency. And we will thank God for the agency our children and we are apart of, and for God's grace and compassion that is shown through it.

We have much joy to be part of lives in another part of the world, lives who are celebrating the God we serve together...even with them there, and us here. We will give thanks for the staff at the orphanage, who continues to work even though there are no funds to cover what they are doing.

We are joyful for God is our Protector. We will give thanks that our children are safe and under a brand new building and playing in a play yard.

We are joyful for our God is a compassionate God, and full of abundance. We will give thanks that God has given us an abundance...for we started this journey with one child and now have two!

We will remain in joy for our God listens. We will give thanks for the answered prayers as we received the court decree and passport for our son, and the answers soon to come.

We will remain in joy for our God is building His people up. We will give thanks as our whole family has the heart to go and experience the Liberian life as our other children only know.

We will be joyful for our God has redeemed the five of us here, individually, in our marriage, and as a family. We will give thanks, as our marriage has flourished and become even stronger through this added stress of waiting as well as our financial state.

We remain in joy through the strength of our Lord. We will give thanks for God has been our strength through all this. He has not only wiped each tear that has fallen, but knows the exact number we have shed. He has given us patience and joy. He has been our Sustainer.

We are joyful and give thanks for our God has remained Faithful. He has never left us nor forsaken us.

Today we pour out our joy and our thanks upon a God who is Faithful, Good, Just, and Compassionate, and we have the privilege to call Him our Father and Friend. And because of the God He is, we have joy and reason to be thankful.

The Time Has Come...

There is a phrase "All Good Things Must Come To An End". I think about this as our summer has officially ended, and the girls have returned to school. Our life that we have discovered, our life outside of school activities and car rides; we have come to embrace. My time alone as I walk and worship each morning, and the quietness of the living room as the girls sleep and I read my Bible and journal has to work itself into my schedule instead of it greeting me each day. My mind being focused on God as I wake, and throughout the days are now interrupted with "what is on the agenda today" and checking off my "to-do's".

But then I felt a nudge. One that was saying... "I Am THE Good Thing, and I will NEVER come to an end". And now I ponder, and am washed with such gladness. Our God, who is the Author of Salvation, Creator of the universe, Friend and Father never leaves us or forsakes us! Remains with us forever! He Himself is the Beginning and the End. As long as we choose life with Him there is no end.

So as I approach another first day of school, and the sadness of the three good things God has given us to maintain go off and experience life as they will choose for themselves, I will approach it with gladness, for as long as we choose salvation through Christ, there is never an end. The time I have daily enjoyed this summer was only a beginning of the days to come...some will be full of distractions, and others quiet. And I will continue to choose to give thanks. (But I still will wipe a tear or two of joy as I send them off today and as they take their next steps.)

Lindsay - Sophomore (10th grade)

Katie - 7th grade


Courtney - 6th grade - 1st year of middle school!



Family Fall Pictures...

Summer Sunday Hikes

We have been enjoying our summer. It has been quiet, uneventful, non-strenuous, and peaceful. I would have to say this has been Duane and mine favorite summers. I have found that a life of an American is to plan how much you can cram into a day...and even into a vacation, we didn't do that this year. We have enjoyed each other. We have "been still and known God is God." (Psalm 46:10). We have discovered we enjoy our surroundings and we have so much to be thankful for.

One of the routines we made for summer was our day of rest. Being that we attend church on Saturday nights, we are able to enjoy a full day of rest on Sunday. So we have been doing Sunday hiking...other than the beach there is not a better place to experience our Loving God.

Blessed be your wonderful name. It is more wonderful than all blessing and praise.

You are the only Lord. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, with all the stars.

You made the earth and everything on it, the seas and everything in them; you give life to everything.

The heavenly army worship you.

Nehemiah 9:5-6

I will praise the Lord at all times; his praise is always on my lips. My whole being praises the Lord.

Psalm 34:1-2a

Shout to the Lord, all the earth.

Serve the Lord with joy;

come before him with singing.

Know that the Lord is God.

He made us, and we belong to him;

we are his people, the sheep he tends.

Psalm 100:1-3

Let the sea and everything in it shout; let the world and everyone in it sing. Let the rivers clap their hands;

let the mountains sing together for joy.

Psalm 98:7-8

God, my heart is steady.

I will sing and praise you with all my being.

Psalm 108:1

The Lord lives!

May my Rock be praised. Praise the God who saves me!

Psalm 18: 46

Everything on earth, shout with joy to God!

Sing about his glory!

Make his praise glorious!

Say to God, "Your works are amazing! Because your power is great, your enemies fall before you.

All the earth worships you and sings praises to you. They sing praises to your name".

Psalm 66:1-4

You do great and wonderful things, Lord God Almighty.

Everything the Lord does is right and true, King of the nations.

Everyone will respect you, Lord, and will honor you.

Only you are holy.

All the nations will come and worship you, because the right things you have done are now made known.

Revelation 15:3b-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3

And so we know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love. God is love. Those who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

1 John 4:16

God is strong and can help you not to fall. He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you and can give you great joy. He is the only God, the One who saves us. To him be glory, greatness, power, and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord for all time past, now, and forever. Amen.

Jude 24-25

He created the skies and stretched them out. He spread out the earth and everything on it. He gives life to all people on earth, to everyone who walks on the earth.

The Lord says, "I, the Lord, called you to do right, and I will hold your hand and protect you."

Sing a new song to the Lord; sing his praise everywhere on the earth.

Praise him, you people who sail on the seas and you animals who live in them.

Praise him, you people living in faraway places. The deserts and their cities should praise him.

Isaiah 42 5-6a; 10-11a

Skies, sing for joy because the Lord did great things! Earth, shout for joy, even in your deepest parts!

Sing, you mountains, with thanks to God.

Sing, too you trees in the forest!

The Lord saved the people of Jacob! He showed his glory when he saved Israel.

This is what the Lord says, who saved you, who formed you in your mother's body:

"I the Lord, made everything, stretching out the skies by myself and spreading out the earth all alone."

Isaiah 44:23-24

Because of the Lord's great love

we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Wind in our Sails...

"Wind in our sails"...an expression for what keeps us going, not an expression that is heard of too much these days. And yet I heard it three times in the last week, and my spirit leaped and said "listen". Yet what, God, what am I to hear? What am I to learn? What needs to be spoken?
When I picture those words, it takes me automatically takes me to the ocean or sea, and I can picture Jesus calming the sea and those on the ship "... were terrified and asked each other 'Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him?'" (Mark 4:41) I searched through God's word that talked about the wind. And what did I find? HE.

HE creates the wind to take away things we think are important, and then find that they weren't important at all. HE created the wind to show us His power. HE determines which way the wind blows in our lives. HE shows us His presense through a gently breeze or a mighty blow. HE is behind the wind. I ponder who HE is.

One of the hardest thing I had to do when we moved from California was move away from my best-friend, who's daughter was Lindsay's best-friend and also was dealing with liver cancer. I found through the past three years, distance didn't seperate us from our love for one another. We remained close. We prayed for one another. We held on to God's promises with one another. We cried with one another. We laughed with one another. We celebrated with one another. And this past week we mourned with one another as Rachel, went home to Jesus.

And as Duane said eariler this week "the wind has been robbed from our sails". But has it? I see that the orphanage project that we have been part of posted their last story titled "Wind in our Sails". What is that? I am brought back to HE...to the Great I AM. It is HE that is in our sails, it is HE that will NEVER leave us. HE caught us off guard last week, but it is HE that remains. HE doesn't always makes sense, only because it is my human mind that can't fathom all of who HE is. But I contininue to trust in HE, for HE still remains faithful.

Rachel lived a life that showed her faith. She heard who HE was. She trusted HE with her full life. HE told me "Watch me. I am going to do great things." And HE did and continues to do so. HE let this girl live 3 years longer than diagnosed. HE proved time and time again, HE was in control - not the doctors, not their diangosis, not even Rachel's mom or dad, not even Rachel. HE had control. Rachel's favorite verse was "Go therefore and made disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit taching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20) Rachel lived her favorite verse.

My best-friend is hurting. What do I say? Nothing. Pray for her. Cry with her. Laugh with her. Grieve with her. Her words on this blog would be telling each of you to love your babies now and each day. To remind you, we think these babies are ours, but they are HE's first. HE knows them before we know of them. HE knows each hair on their head, HE knows each one by name, HE knows when He is going to call them home...and only HE knows. And with that we are to enjoy these gifts, these blessings every moment we breath. We are to be thankful to HE, who has allowed us to be part of our children's lives, and allowed us to take care of them however long HE has chosen.

I admire my friend. I appreciate how she has taught me how to lean on God in every circumstance. How HE answers every question we have. How even through the hardest challenges she, I and you can trust in HE, who will hold us. HE remains to be the wind in my friend's sails, and HE is the wind in mine.

Emptiness

The Archibalds have a "secret room" in their house. A room that is shut off from the rest of the house - closed door and closed blinds. A room that stands empty of life. A room that has clothes that aren't worn. A room that has toys that aren't used, books that aren't read, and a bed that isn't slept in. This room is a reminder of the hope of what is to come, but now is too painful to see. This room remains empty.

Emptiness can be so painful. Emptiness can remind us of our hurt. Emptiness is a void in our heart. Emptiness....when can we be full again?

We opened the room last Saturday night. I even started looking at the pictures of Elijah and Ruth once again. We slept in our children's room, had a camp out. We filled that room with prayers and love that night. That room isn't empty anymore! That room is full of the Spirit who is waiting with us, praying with us and hoping with us. That room has life. No, the clothes aren't worn, the toys aren't being played with, the door and blinds still remain closed, the books aren't being read, and the bed isn't being used - but I am reminded as much as we want our children home, it isn't our children that will fill us.

This Sunday we will recognize the tomb which was once filled with Christ's broken body is now empty, for our Savior was raised for the dead! Emptiness shouldn't be a reminder of our pain, hurt or even a void in our heart but rather a reminder of the hope we have that Christ will be coming again. Our emptiness can only be filled by Christ - for us, not even Elijah and Ruthie.

Oh yes, we long to hold our children once again. I would lie to you if I told you I haven't cried over them, or pleaded to God that they could come home. But we remain with the hope and excitement that our God once came to this earth, nailed our sins to the cross with Him, and was buried and then rose from the grave. Our God lives and because He lives...my emptiness is NO MORE!!!!