Oh My Savior, My Father, My Great God, My Friend and Love,
You have impressed so much on my heart these past few hours ... to get them on paper will be a challenge, but being the perfect one you are... I know you will make sense out of it all.
I have been convicted to repent to you. I have realized lies I have believed, and where the door is open for the enemy to walk in and badger me with his lies and condemnation. I see it and now I will shut it! I see what I have believed since I was little: the lie, I don't belong in the family I was born into, and then married into. Somewhere along the line, I believed that I was unwanted - no matter how much was told to me on the contrary. I believed it. That belief has manifested itself in so many areas of my life: others not wanting a relationship with me or me not being good enough. Now I see it weave its ugliness in my children. Enough is enough and I break that lie off our family. I see that I am your child, wanted and redeemed. I see how much time and love you have put into me, taking the time to grow me and see fully that I have never been a mistake - especially in your eyes. We love, because you first loved us. I love my extended family, and am so thankful for each one of them. They are your treasures too, and you are there to meet with each one of them. I claim restoration, and can't wait to see the day!
Father God, I confess when the trials of raising three teenage daughters makes me weary, I immediately wonder and doubt I was ever cut out for adopting another child into our home. I have figured that I'm not doing a good job with the children I already have in our home, how can I be responsible for another. Well, truth is ... you called me into motherhood a long time ago and I am cut out for the job you instilled in me as long as I lean on you. I see that I have taken my children's mess-ups and put them on me. Their errors, are theirs. Mine are mine. You redeem it all and make it good. I repent of taking on others mistakes and calling them my own. I will stand on your redemption, and leading as I parent the children who are in our home as well as those who will come. I will also stand guard as to what others speak into my life, and make sure I clarify what is said. What you say is all that matters. Your love never fails and will guide us through all of our seasons in life - even this one and I will rest in it! Thank you Jesus for your constant presence. Thank you for showing me where to close doors, and open them to you. Thank you for making everything good.
Today I rest in you, as you are my strong tower. With you, I need no other!
I love you,
Karen
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