Boys. Clothes. School. Who is dating who and who is breaking up with who. Hurt. Friendships. Cunning remarks. Good days. Assemblies. Sports. These are the highlights of my afternoons when the girls get off the school bus and walk into our lives. Duane and I have noticed we've become the "fix-it doctor" as we council our girls through their everyday issues.
Now in no way I'm going to share with you my struggles to receive your pity. I'm not complaining, I have noticed how I have stepped off my path and now getting back on course. I also want to make it clear: I love my world, because I love my girls! However, I do believe with every mile stone in raising our children is another mile stone for me to learn.
Time between a husband and wife seems far and in between. My personal time with God seems to be limited only when the girls aren't around. Quietness and the calmness has seemed to have left our home all together. I noticed I would rather be out of the house than in it, and that is when the alarm bell set off. I love my girls, and if I love them I should want to be around them...not away from them.
I noticed too I was exhausted. All this drama was consuming me, and I was now a 24 hour counselor, 7 days a week. Somewhere the boundary was broken ... and now it was my job to fix all their problems.
God never speaks directly in His word about how to raise teenage daughters in the current day and age we are in, and never speaks directly using the word "drama" but I did see something.
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 4:17-5:2
Now I'm not saying that we have it all together at all, but I have found my direction and have taken back my home once again, filling it with calmness and love once again. I have already lived my teenage years, and choose to take off those old ways and live in the new creation God made in me. I will love my girls through these challenging years, and help them see all God has for them and is in them. I will trust God's council in their lives, not mine. I will have us all check our words, thoughts and deeds at the door and bring only what is good in. I will continue to forgive and seek forgiveness just the same. And I will guard what comes off the lips of mine and my girls. I will no longer let the devil have a foothold and steal the life we have in our home. Kindness and compassion will fill our home once again ... and it will stay as the drama leaves!
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