Let Me Hold You Longer

There have been a couple of events that have taken hold in our home in the last month.  Events some may think, it isn't that big deal...others, can grasp it in their heart.

Last month, Lindsay turned 18 years old!  18 Years old marks adulthood ... yet I still see the baby girl within.

Last month, Lindsay was accepted to two colleges!  Two weeks ago, Lindsay had auditions to get into the performing arts school of music in one of the colleges.  I will save that story for another time, and for now I will focus on this Mama's heart.  The day we have trained and prepared our baby for is closer than ever before ... I don't see my life ever being the same. 

This weeks marks the first week of the last quarter.  The school year is drawing to an end.

I contemplated how to share the tears I have wept, the joy I have danced and the full heart I hold during this time.  I came across a children's book I purchased a few years back, not grasping it then but with a full concept now. Let me read it to you, with my own pictures, and some edits made personally by me.

Let Me Hold You Longer

Written by Karen Kingsbury

Long ago you came to me,

  a miracle of firsts:

First smiles and teeth and baby steps,

  a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away
  and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of
  a lifetime of your lasts...

The last time that I fed

your baby lips.

The last time that I lifted you

and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,

  needing to be walked,

When last you crawled up with your Cookie Monster,

  wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,  still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you'd marry
  Daddy when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and
  bright flashes from you past-
Would I have held on longer if
  I'd known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park,
  your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
  dress and gave a little tap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,

  those last days of first grade,

Your last craft created in Sunday school,

  last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all

  your yesterdays long passed.

So what about tomorrow-

  will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog

  in the window wells.

The last time that I kiss your hurts

  all those time you fell.

Silly,scattered images

  will represent your past.

I keep on taking pictures,

  never quite sure of your lasts...

The last time that I comb your hair

  or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
  and tuck you in a night.
The last time when we cuddle
  with a book, just me and you.
The last time you jump in our bed
  and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,
  the last field trips, especially in 4th grade.

Your last few weeks of middle school,

  and watching you squeal for parades.

I look ahead and dream of days
  that haven't come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
  today's sweet, precious lasts ...






The last time that I help you with

  a math or spelling test.

The last time when I shout that yes,

  your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for
  a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
  and your argument of how "things aren't fair".

My life keeps moving faster,

  stealing precious days that pass.

I want to hold on longer-

  want to recognize your lasts...

The last time that you need my help

  with details of a date.

The last time that you ask me 
if you could be home late.

The last time that you talk to me

about your hopes and dreams.

The last time that you wear your drum major uniform

for your high school team.

I've watched you grow and barely noticed

seasons as they pass.

If I could freeze the hands of time,

I'd hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,
you'll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.
One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you'll be missed.
I'll watch you leave and think how fast our time together passed.

Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.

This is what the Lord says:

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom

or the strong man boast of his strength

or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:

that he understands and knows me,

that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,

justice and righteousness on earth,

for in these I delight,

declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-34