Parenting 101

I have noticed something about me ... and it has shown itself loud and clear the past couple of weeks.  


I don't like telling me girls "no".  


It is inevitable.  When we go out to a school function or even a church function ... they get the last minute invite to do something...time to hang out with their friends.  Or they will be doing "nothing" at home, and receive a call or text message inviting them to go do "something".  And then there are those times they see something in the store window and they just want it.  Every school class has their own focus, which brings the desire of jackets, awards and even trips.  It seems the older they become, the more "May I..." 's we hear.  


I want to give them everything and the last thing I want to tell them is "no".  I want to give them their hearts desire.


Last night was no different.  We were at the last school concert of the school year, and a group of kids were going out to see a movie.  I wanted the same for my own children.  I wanted them to go.  I wanted them to know they fit in.  But I had to say it ... "no".  (And when I started weakening ... I sent them to Daddy.)


You see we have rules posted in our home.  Responsibilities must be done.  And we aren't the mean parents giving them a 100 things to have done.  But we have asked the basics:  clean your room, clean your messes, take care of the pets, etc..  We also have the consequences posted as well.  Privileges will be taken away.  It is simple, you do your responsibilities and you get to have privileges!


Last night ... my husband said "no".  Tears were shed.  Anger was pierced on the lips.  Accusations through body language of being the "meanest parents on the planet" was clearly stated and we have been reminded that "we are the only parents who do this".  


And then I wondered. 


I have heard some "no" 's in my lifetime from my Heavenly Father.  Was it because I didn't do my responsibilities?  You know the ones ... loving those I rub shoulders with, not gossiping, being quick to forgive, and so on.  But I recall Ephesians 2:8-9;  "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast."   And clearly I saw that God gives me a great gift ... the gift of 'no".  Because through that no I still am able to experience His grace.  Through His grace I tangibly receive His patience, love, forgiveness, friendship, support, protection ... and the list goes on.  


No.  I now see it differently.  It is a word of love.  A word of protection.  A word that is knowing.  And I think of those times I have heard no, and the hearts desire I was asking for ... and now see the all knowing God I know - and see it was His love, protection, forgiveness, grace I truly desire over anything I have asked for.    


Yea, you heard it hear first.  I can be the meanest parent in the world.  And apparently I'm the only parent that gives their children responsibilities, and consequences if they aren't done.  But if our girls can see that through that simple little word of "no" they are loved, forgiven, protected and even experience some wisdom through it, but first and foremost experience their Heavenly Father .... just maybe they too will look back and see receiving just that was all they ever desired.