During prayer time, I had a moment to wonder about Jesus and his act of sacrifice.
We had just explained to our son, what Palm Sunday was all about. And we were going through the Resurrection Eggs with him, telling the exact events that took place so many years ago. Being that our son has never heard about what Easter was about, we have been able to tell it just like the first time. And it got me thinking all anew again.
Palm Sunday, marks the day Jesus came riding in Jerusalem on a donkey (which symbolizes peace). So many greeted him that day, and were so joyful. They shouted: "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" (Matthew 21:9). They claimed him as the coming Messiah. It was a glorious day, I'm sure. Peace entered their city. Hope came that day. And I'm sure just looking in his eyes...they saw the immeasurable love He had.
Jesus knew the truth in what was coming.
Thursday came, and he sat and had what he knew was his last supper with his best of friends, and he knew that one of them was going to betray him.
Judas betrayed Jesus. He kissed Jesus turning him in. Even though Jesus knew it was coming, I would think that his heart was broken just the same. After all, Judas was invited with his closes friends around the supper table. Even though he knew it was coming, did he hold onto a bit of hope that Judas would choose different? His heart had to have hurt.
After Jesus was arrested, there was an opportunity to free Jesus. But Barabbas was freed instead. Those same people that saw hope, peace and love enter their city all turned against this Man of God. Jesus' heart had to be greatly broken even more. The anguish he held in his heart, was so great. Matthew 26:38 says "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death."
We think of this Good Friday as a time of when Jesus was beaten and crucified a horrible death. Now-a-days the worse criminals have rights of humanity, and those who are put to death aren't even put through what Jesus endured. And I'm not trying to make it light of Jesus' crucifixion. It was horrible. It was my Jesus. And it was my sin that was put on him. And that alone is great. But I ponder Jesus' heart and how heartbroken it was.
I have a daughter who has a tendency to lie from time to time. When she lies I am in anguish. My heart is broken as I want to be so close to her, and I want her to trust me. But she stands behind the fear and sometimes the laziness and will lie. I'm crushed as she pulls away from the closeness we once shared. I experience a bit of rejection, humiliation and loneliness. But most of all I have a longing to be close and a deep sadness because it was broken that day. Sometimes the heartache is harder to experience than whatever physical pain I am enduring, or that follows.
We pulled away from Jesus as we nailed him to the cross. We walked away from our relationship that day. He experienced a heartache of rejection, humiliation and loneliness. And I can't help but wonder if this was his greatest pain. He longed for a relationship that would flourish, and instead was rejected. He wanted us to trust him, and instead we trusted all the doubts and false accusations.
I don't know. I just think of standing at the base of the cross, and his eyes meeting mine, wanting the desire to be close to me as we once were.
And I can't help but be sorry and ashamed. And I can't help but cry. Today I experience Jesus' broken heart and through it I see how much more my Jesus loves me. And how much more he loves you too.
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