Archibald Family

Archibald Family

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What if?

Out of no where, our family has been hit. I don't want to give any recognition in the thief who came to steal and destroy, but rather confess where I have been.
  • I have a way of seeing what is in front of me as truth.
  • I still struggle with making a connection in Colorado. It seems to be an ongoing struggle. I have met many people, but still long to have a relationship where I can call to go out for a cup of coffee or go shopping with, or better yet - they call me. I allowed jealousy and envy come into our marriage, because of it. I even let confusion come into our family as to where our place of worship should even be. Connection...everyone longs for it, to have identity and be recognized.
  • In a matter of a few hours, I was facing some health issues in a routine exam and the health of our youngest was resurfacing once again, which brought on doubt in the decisions we made when she was just three. I even questioned my mothering.
  • At that same doctor's visit I was all of a sudden dealing with things I have already dealt with (spiritually) and thought it was all over. I was reminded of my lack of identity and condemned because of it. I was labeled over and over, never seeing one of them coming.
After seeking some prayer, and casting off the enemy's lies, I have come to praise the God I have. Through prayer and praising I am restored. Today I heard two words - what if. I didn't quite understand these words until I stewed over them a while longer as I continued to seek God.

What if ... I saw things beyond what is in front of me, if I saw things through the One who is able?

What if ... I didn't focus on connection, but rather trusted God who moved us here and rested in that?

What if ... I am allowed to experience the loss of connection, the lack of conversation, the fellowship with a friend so I may experience the heart of Gods'?

What if ... I wasn't jealous of Duane's connections and lifestyle, and yet was thankful He has blessed my husband so, and made Duane more connected to his family, and a stronger spirtual leader in our home because of this relocation?

What if ... I wasn't so quick to look elsewhere for connection but stayed where I was and allowed God to connect with me?

What if ... I remained in the peace God gave us many years ago as our daughter was given the right doctors and surgeons and through the decisions we made?

What if ... I sought the Healer who ultimately healed our daughter, and rested in the knowing He could heal her and me again?

What if ... I allowed God to come in and remind me that I am His, and that is my identity?

As I pondered these "what ifs", I found the answer to the question I have been searching for - I would be in the place God wants us all to be in - a place with Him, and a place of praise!

Today I will continue to praise God for He is faithful and true. I praise Him for His provisions and protection. I praise Him for His heart to be a forever best-friend in my life, who is interested in me, caring, compassionate and always ready for a conversation. I praise God for His creation in Duane and our family, and how I can see Him doing good things in each of us. I praise God that He can fix all things, provide all things so I don't have to! I praise God for He can be seen each day. I praise God who heals because of the abundance of love He has for each of us. I praise God for my salvation and His acceptance that I am His. He is worthy of ALL my praise!

Now, if you excuse me... I am going to run to have a cup of hot chocolate and some long awaited conversation with my best-friend!

2 comments:

HollyAnn said...

Good words, my friend! I'm going to have to sit and contemplate some of those what ifs myself...espceially the connection one! You are amazing and your faith and transparency on this journey inspire me! Let's go get coffee! :)

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