I had that morning this morning. One daughter skipped breakfast, while the other didn't take care of the pet. A heaping pile of receipts needing to be entered in the registry and a house that just seems get messier and messier. I admit it ... I took the wrong approach. I blew. I yelled. I heard Duane's apology - again. I was one step out the door, ready to leave it all. Yeah, all the wrong approach. I am tired. We are all emotionally stressed out. And we are all exhausted. And to add to it all ... finals week.
Well, I wanted to run. I have thought of a plan of leaving and going to a hotel where I can escape it all and get a lot of sleep. And be surrounded by quiet. The romantic thought was very enticing, and when I left for work this morning I wondered of how to make it happen with all of today's events taking place ahead of me.
I left work early for an appointment Katie had. And a parent's nightmare was coming true. I received a text from Katie stating: "We are in a lock down. It is the real thing this time."
Shock. Disbelief. Fear. Panic. They all took place.
And in the moments that followed I remembered how I greeted them this morning. I remembered that I didn't hug or kiss them. I questioned if they knew my love for them. And I pleaded to God to give me another chance.
The lock down, turned to be a lock out; meaning that the issue was on the outside of the school....where I was headed. Things turned around. Katie was the only one who had contact with me, and she knew that their was a gunman running around in our neighborhood. Now she feared what I was going home to, and if anyone was going to run to our home.
Our minds have such a way of imagination. Perhaps that is what God means, when he says to "take every thought captive". Don't let us imagine, let us pray, let our thoughts be the very thoughts God has, let us be reminded of the God He is and cast out any worse scenarios. If we know our God we are reminded that it is not in His character and far from His thoughts to go against us. Bad things happen to good people, but God isn't the One who creates the bad. It is us that doesn't captivate our thoughts. There is no reason to imagine the worse. There is no reason to head down a pathway that is far from the nature of our God.
I don't have to wait until tomorrow for my second chance. I received it this afternoon. I have embraced the girls who jumped in my car, and stuck around me a little closer today. I have loved them with a brand new love. I'm also thankful to the One who yearns for me to spend time with Him so I can have the opportunity to know Him, and the One who continues to keep our family safe.