Life Is Full Of It's Challenges!

It's been a heck of a time these past couple of years.  Every time I think I have gone through the thick of it, it gets a bit thicker.  Perhaps it is my outlook in life.  Perhaps it is just the season we're in.  Call it what you want, bottom line it has been a hard couple of years.

When Duane lost his job about a year and a half ago, I went into flight or fight mode.  I stepped up my hours at work to bring what little income I could in, and still doing what I already was doing in the ways of home maker.  I tried to be a source of encouragement to my husband, and bring a comfort to my girls.  I can stand where I do today to know that I began to rely on myself more, even though I would say I was relying on God. 

One of my biggest arguments with Duane during this time was my feeling of lack of appreciation, and not being recognized enough for all I was doing.  I felt alone too.  Today I can stand and tell you that because I took the role on that I did, and stood on my own two feet that it was my own doing for the feelings I was enduring. 

When we moved to California, I had arranged for my next source of employment.  I believed God gave me the go ahead and I went ahead.  It brought a long commute, much stress, emotional abuse and much anguish.  Today I stand, unemployed and see that I never asked Him when, and I was so determined that perhaps I didn't hear the correct answer.  My wants outweighed my listening skills.

We left two girls back in Colorado.  I can't tell you the depth of depression I have been in because of that fact.  I hid my feelings through working, focusing on housing and now setting up our home.  As things start resting in place, my heart has been more exposed.  Many tears have been shed.  Much anger has been spewed.  Silence has been heard.   

We had two months to find our home.  We put nine offers and nine different houses in an area that would be closer to Duane's work.  Each one of them was rejected as other offers outbid ours.  We leaned on what we wanted, not on where God was directing us.  I can testify today that I stood on pride to be able to say that I moved out of state, and it eased my pride to say that I was returning  but to a different location.  I was ashamed to come back in the area we left.  But God has a way of humbling us, and it will be on his timetable until we grasp where He wants us.  After three months of temporary housing (AKA:  a hotel), we put our tenth offer in, which was accepted .... back in the hometown we once lived.

Relocation isn't easy as it is, getting Courtney registered for school was a battle of its own.  New laws have been passed, two different states with their own requirements and systems trying to blend together, and a roughness to the school we were assigned to were just some of the battles we were in, as I was dealing with the loss of the other two girls.  I observed I quit parenting all together, as fear of losing the last was quickly approaching as we enrolled her for her senior year.  I had to apologize to Courtney that I stopped being her mommy, and took back that role that I know so well.  

Community has been our word for a few years now.  Community is definently where we live now.  But it is something that we are searching for too.  We walk everywhere now, trying to make our presence known.  We greet our neighbors, and trying to reestablish old friendships.  But it is hard to have been away for nearly a decade and find where we fit in again.  Places have changed, people have changed, society has changed.  Where do we fit with all these changes?  And finding a church home is the key.  We're still looking where that will be.  I know God will bring us to that place, as he has brought us home.  

It has been a rough year and a half.  We have gone through so much, so many feelings, and I can still testify that my feelings are still "raw".  But I have grown.  I have changed.  I have gained many lessons along the way.  I have been humbled, and admit that today even though I can say I have learned much, I can still say I have much more to learn too.  It has been a rough journey ... but it has been all good too!  

Happy Father's Day!

Every year it is the same.  The challenge to put what is in my heart on paper or wrapped behind a bow, and be miles apart. 

A phone call, that is nice.  But it doesn't feel enough or even as if that is a "gift".

I could mention that my dad is the BEST DAD in the whole world.  But everyone says that, and even though there is much truth in those words, what would make mine anymore different?

I have mentioned all of the cherish memories of my time with my dad I treasure.  I know it never gets old for him, and how I love remembering them ... but I want this year to be something different.

I could dig out the pictures and make a memory video for him ... but I did that for Mom, how can I make my dad stand out?

What about a present to send?  Truthfully I wouldn't know what to get.  Whatever he may need, my mom gets him.  I just get lost in the shopping isles, and nothing speaks to the depth of my love for my dad.

I go through this challenge every year.  My heart is in the right place, but the action just doesn't back it up.

What surprises me about my dad is how great of a dad he is.  Hear me out, making such a statement.  I have heard the challenges and even pain that my dad went through as he grew up in his home, and enduring the dad he had.  I see my dad as an overcomer.  He not only chose not to be like his father, but take the role of father seriously and be the very dad he wanted.  He didn't hear how proud his father was of him ... but Dad, I am very proud of you!  He didn't have a father rooting him on in all his accomplishments ... but Dad, I am your biggest fan! 

As I struggle this year of what to give you, praying about it.  God gave me the very gift to give him.  I receive devotions everyday.  And this one took the feelings in my heart and put it on paper ... all I had to do was give it to you.  So with everything in me, I give you these words and a huge hug over the many miles that separate us.  Because of your love for me that you have shared with me, I am able to understand more of God's love.  You are a big part of my testimony and why I have the faith I have today.  Thank you Dad!

JUNE 13, 2014 Thank You, Dad SUZIE ELLER

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Psalm 68:5 (NIV)

 

Moments after I stopped by my parents' house, my dad clutched his chest.

 

Knowing the hospital was close, my mom and I helped him to the car. I pressed hard on the gas pedal, keeping an eye on the man who reclined in the passenger seat as I raced toward the nearby emergency room.

 

The news was not good. Doctors said his heart was badly damaged, and open-heart surgery was the only option.

 

Doctors scheduled the procedure for the next day. Since I lived in another city, I drove home to gather my things before returning the next morning for a long stay.

 

The sun crept over the horizon as I drove westward to be with my parents during my dad's surgery. Visits were strictly limited, and my time with my dad was to be an hour before he would go in to the operating room.

 

When I arrived, a nurse informed me that my dad wasn't in his room.

 

I rushed up the stairs to the surgical floor waiting room. "They took him back a half hour ago, Suzie," my brother said. "It happened so quickly we just barely got to see him." I buried my head in my brother's chest and wept.

 

My dad was in surgery with his chest split open ... and I didn't get to say thank you.

 

Thank you for taking the place of our biological father who should have loved those tiny girls but for whatever reason didn't.

 

Thank you for taking two little girls who didn't have a father and making them your own.

 

Thank you for never seeing us in a different light than my brothers and sister who were born later.

 

Thank you for rejoicing that you won the prize another failed to claim.

 

When I was younger I didn't always appreciate this gift. I loved the man I called Dad, but often wondered about the other one. Did I look like him? Where was he? Did he think of me? What might it be like if I had my biological father in my life?

 

As an adult, and as a parent, I saw it differently. Being a dad isn't always tied to DNA.

 

One man was there at my conception, but another took the more difficult path. He went to work every day. He showed up at events. He disciplined and loved me, watched me graduate and marry. He took the name "Papaw" as he embraced my children.

 

I know not every woman who grew up without a biological father's love has this type of experience. But all of us can know the love of God as our heavenly Father.

 

Psalm 68:5 describes God as "a father to the fatherless." It's a theme woven throughout Scripture from beginning to end. Our God loves orphans and rescues the abandoned. This is a work close to His heart.

 

Later that evening, after Dad's surgery, I sat in the shadows with the rhythmic swish of the respirator the only sound in the room. I silently offered up gratitude.

 

First, because my dad had made it through the surgery.

 

Second, because this man partnered with God's heartbeat when he stepped in to love two little girls without a daddy.

 

I leaned over the bed and whispered the words I could no longer hold back: "Thank you, Dad."

 

And thank You, God, for loving me with a perfect Father's love.

 

Dear Lord, thank You for loving me as a Heavenly Father. Thank You for bringing people into my life who partnered with You in that love. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Happy Father's Day, DAD!

I truly love you so very much!

The Last Grains of Sand in the Hour Glass

We had to write our goals for the coming year at work; both business and personal.  (I think I should add blogging, I love to write and get my thoughts cleared on "paper"!)  I wrote my list, then I'd add to it, so I'd reprint it one more time. 

I'm anticipating so much this year.  It is funny once those goals are written down, it becomes more of a reality, something to work toward.  I'm sure that it was the company's ploy as they will see much improvement in their employees, as well as improvement in their store.  But it has changed how I manage my time.

I confess I can be a workaholic.  There is something always that needs to be done, and I have this mind set there, as well as home, that "I'm the only person who'll do it".  And with that mindset I spend a lot of time at the store, even more than the time sheet says.  Don't get me wrong.  The other thing I battle is frankly I love my job and its atmosphere.  I love the guests and building relationships.  They encourage me as much as I try to encourage them.  That love will pull me back in as well.

But when I look at my goal list, I see at the very top of the list is:  Not to miss an opportunity to embrace a moment with my girls. 

Katie has 1 1/2 years left in high school, and how she turns 18 this year, and Courtney has 2 1/2 years and turns 16 years old.  I see the hour glass with just a few grains of sand in it.  My time is running out with them. 

I have learned through Lindsay how being an "adult" looks like.  Real responsibilities come.  Time is of the essence.  We compete with boys, school, friends and work.  Home is viewed as something that will always be there, but not something to be part of as much.  We rejoice in her accomplishments from afar and remain on our knees for the challenges that are ahead for her.  She walks this path without her parents holding her hands, and we hope we said all the right words to her in the earlier years to help her through.  She does her thing, as we do ours.    

Pretty soon, Katie will be there.

Then Courtney.

Then life is completely different from the one I have dreamt of, and that is so much apart of who I am.  It is scary to think of life being different.  It brings me so much sorrow as I think of life being so drastically different.  I have been looking at pictures of when our family was young a lot, and wishing I could turn back and hold them more.  I look back wishing I put the chore I was so focused on getting done, and hold or play with my girls one more time.   

We get several emails a day from colleges wanting Katie.  There seems to be a power that rises in me when I hit that delete button, and something inside of me says "No!  You can't have her yet!". 

When I was younger, all I wanted was to be a wife and mother.  I dreamt of the babies to hold, and little ones to care for.  I didn't think of the difficulties of the teenage years, but planned for the years ahead just the same. 

I think of how many times I fell down on bended knee praying for God to give me wisdom and give me the right words to say to help teach them.  Or the strength to get through temper tantrums.  I wondered if they would ever be out of diapers.  I prayed for my girls as they journeyed through school and discovered challenges along the way.  I pleaded to draw them back to me when they journeyed onto independence.  And I will continue to repeat those same prayers as they each go onto their next adventure - even though the giggles won't be heard on the other side of these walls.  Space will separate us.  But my love will be all over them - even though I won't be near to hold them.

And in all this dread of the years ahead, and the sting of sorrow, I choose to be thankful. 

I'm thankful to you God, for the years in the past.  I'm thankful for giving me the dream to be a mom, and fulfilling that dream.  I'm thankful for the list of goals we had to do, so I can turn away from my job more and turn toward these girls before they are off to their next adventure.  I'm thankful that you have given me strength when needed, and thankful you'll continue to give me strength in the years to come.  And I'm thankful that you hold me more and more each day, as I let go of these girls one by one.  I welcome your embrace.

So yes, I have turned away from my job little by little, and embrace those moments of hearing about their days as they come home from school, playing games in spite of the hour or day it is and I will crawl in their rooms at night, as they sleep and hold them a little while longer.

A God of Second Chances

"and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

2 Corinthians 10:5

 



OK Moms, we have all had one of those mornings.  Those mornings that kids aren't doing as they should, making the same wrong decisions...that they should know by now, a pile of things you wake up to that seem you are the only one that can do it.  You know, one of those mornings. 

I had that morning this morning.  One daughter skipped breakfast, while the other didn't take care of the pet.  A heaping pile of receipts needing to be entered in the registry and a house that just seems get messier and messier.  I admit it ... I took the wrong approach.  I blew.  I yelled.  I heard Duane's apology - again.  I was one step out the door, ready to leave it all.  Yeah, all the wrong approach.  I am tired.  We are all emotionally stressed out.  And we are all exhausted.  And to add to it all ... finals week. 

Well, I wanted to run.  I have thought of a plan of leaving and going to a hotel where I can escape it all and get a lot of sleep.  And be surrounded by quiet.  The romantic thought was very enticing, and when I left for work this morning I wondered of how to make it happen with all of today's events taking place ahead of me. 

I left work early for an appointment Katie had.  And a parent's nightmare was coming true.  I received a text from Katie stating:  "We are in a lock down.  It is the real thing this time." 

Shock.  Disbelief.  Fear.  Panic.  They all took place.

And in the moments that followed I remembered how I greeted them this morning.  I remembered that I didn't hug or kiss them.  I questioned if they knew my love for them.  And I pleaded to God to give me another chance.

The lock down, turned to be a lock out; meaning that the issue was on the outside of the school....where I was headed.  Things turned around.  Katie was the only one who had contact with me, and she knew that their was a gunman running around in our neighborhood.  Now she feared what I was going home to, and if anyone was going to run to our home. 

Our minds have such a way of imagination.  Perhaps that is what God means, when he says to "take every thought captive".  Don't let us imagine, let us pray, let our thoughts be the very thoughts God has, let us be reminded of the God He is and cast out any worse scenarios.  If we know our God we are reminded that it is not in His character and far from His thoughts to go against us.  Bad things happen to good people, but God isn't the One who creates the bad.  It is us that doesn't captivate our thoughts.  There is no reason to imagine the worse.  There is no reason to head down a pathway that is far from the nature of our God.

I don't have to wait until tomorrow for my second chance.  I received it this afternoon.  I have embraced the girls who jumped in my car, and stuck around me a little closer today.  I have loved them with a brand new love.  I'm also thankful to the One who yearns for me to spend time with Him so I can have the opportunity to know Him, and the One who continues to keep our family safe. 

God is Faithful, No Matter What!

If you could see my list of posts, you would see many that have been started, some edited, but none finished.  Thoughts have come and gone, as well as feelings.  I have questioned; "what difference does it make, whether I write or not", and I have had internal pressure of "what in the world do I write about, the stuff we're going through just stinks". 

As Christmas is quickly approaching, so is New Years.  I have grumbled a lot through 2013, yet also in what little wisdom I have I don't want to forget it all either.  Only for the fact, I have to see what God has done through our trials, and what He is going to do to change our "luck". 

It has taken a lot of time, counseling to mourn the loss of a boy we once called our son.  As we have grieved, we have also received a lot of judgment and condemnation.  We have gone through anger as well as hurt, all of which has left us isolated and alone.  As much as we hated being in such quietness, sometimes those places are a great place to be, for God reminds me time and time again that He is the One that is forever faithful and is our Forever Friend.  He never leaves us or forsakes us.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  I would be lying if I told you that these emotions are done and over with, we still walk through them.  A matter of fact, today was a day that tears streamed down my cheeks, as I was expressing my concern for the boy we let go of.

We have endured family members expressing how they have been against the whole adoption thing from the beginning.  And even though just writing those words sting, it is a reminder of how powerful our words are.  We have the power to bless and curse those around us.  I've tried to watch my words more these days, but I still need to grow in this area.  I definitely want to bless those I love, and even those I don't know.  God calls us to love one another.  Love is more than kindness and that fuzzy feeling.  It is support, understanding and walking with one another.  I have so much more loving to do ... I admit sometimes it is hard, but I want to master this command.

I have dealt with many health issues.  Nothing real serious, but a lot of time and money spent at the doctor's office.  It is amazing what an abundance of stress can do to one's body.  I even made a "splash", shall we say when I ended up on the floor at work, as I fainted.  Thankful not only for caring co-workers, but also an off duty fireman who was eating his breakfast at our store that day.  And that episode gave me the rest of the week off.  I've been learning how to eat, or rather, what to eat all over again.  I'm just starting to get the hang of it.  I've lost some weight, with the new diet, and look forward to loosing more!  God is our healer, and with a change of diet and time with Him, things are way under control.

A few years ago we learned how Courtney was allergic to sugar and honey.  We have managed to stay away from the honey, the sugar was always the battle.  She didn't want to feel "different" when in school.  Well, we finally decided to take it seriously, to Courtney's leading.  So she and I have been sugar-free since August.  The results:  no stomach issues!  She and I feel so much healthier.  God has shown me how I have been so addicted to sugar, and how much I don't need it ... but so need Him.  I haven't desired to go off this sugar-free and gluten-free (just me) diet, because I don't want anything to pull me away from Him.

We have had some challenges in parenting.  Out of respect of my family, the details can remain quiet.  I can just share though, I have never relied on God as much as I have lately.  I have questioned everything I've done.  And see that I'm so little, but also see how much bigger He is!  I am reminded of Proverbs 22:6:  "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."  I wasn't and currently am not the best parent in the world, but I have given it my best...my full heart was in it.  Now I hold onto God's promise in this verse, that He will bring each of my girls back to him and his ways.  Truth is in them, good is in them as well as love...they won't go away from it.  Parenting isn't easy, is it?  I don't think I make things easier on God either.  Not only do I have to learn to parent, but also be a better child to the King of Kings! 

Rumor has it, that Duane will be looking for a new job at the beginning of next year.  I admit that I was so fretful and worried over this.  However, once I remembered how God has gotten through each job change, God has given something bigger and better to us.  And with that I have swallowed hard, and told Duane to go ahead and look for a job - even outside of Colorado.  Ever since I released it, we have had peace ever since.  So much peace that I don't think we will be moving, and I'll even be so bold to say that Duane won't be needing to look for a job.  However, even if I'm wrong, I know God always gives us something better.  It is hard to imagine life better than Colorado, but if He moves us it will be better. 

We have lost some pets this year, and the soothing comfort they once brought, was gone when they left.  However, God has restored our joy and brought us a new kitten in our lives.  We all laugh almost daily for something she has done.  She is a great gift in a year of strife. 

Church has always been our home and family.  We were part of a church plant for a year, that was a hour away - door to door.  God has made it clear to me over and over, with a full burden in my heart to be part of our community.  I have enjoyed getting to know some of my "neighbors" at my workplace, but it still wasn't enough.  We attended another church, but it was too a half hour away...not the community where we live.  So we went back to the drawing board.  We had a frequent guest in our restaurant who was a youth pastor.  One thing led to another, and Katie and Courtney started at the youth group.  Shortly after, we started attending the church finding ... we LOVE it and being part of our community.  We are in the process of having a small group in our home, and Katie is heading to the Bahamas for a mission trip.  Life is opening up as we continue in what we are calling our new home and family.

My work continues to do well.  I'm getting to know our guests more and more each week, and am blessed to have so many friends.  I call everyone my "favorite", and each one encourages me more than they know.  Which is a reminder of how we don't always know how much we influence one another ... those we know, or those we don't.  I want to be a source of encouragement to all I meet each day. 

Courtney had another mole removed, which ended up precancerous again.  So she will permanently have dermatology appointments twice a year, instead of the year appointments she worked up to.  I'm thankful God reveals truth - even at the doctor's office and catches everything that needs to go.  As I write this I wonder if there is anything in my life at all that needs to be revealed and needs to go.  He is faithful and will do so if needed. 

I'm home schooling Courtney now...well, part-time.  Three subjects, soon to be four.  I will be thankful when this will be done, but thankful it is an option to be able to let Courtney accomplish all the classes she needs.  But it keeps me busy.  And now with Christmas approaching, finals in high-school and more busyness at the store, we're a bit behind.  But thankfully for a Christmas break that will get us caught up.

So yes, we have been enduring some lengthy and emotional hardships, God has remained faithful in 2013, as well as whatever is ahead.  We're ready for a change of "scenery" and hopeful new things are coming for the Archibald family in 2014. Even if not, we have learned to hold God's hand a little tighter these years.  And thankful for God who sees all.  He sees each tear, each hurt, each challenge we walk through ... he sees the heart behind it all.  And holds us closer than ever.  For Him, I am thankful. 

3Gs!

It always amazes me with the world of technology and I admit; that I too like to indulge into a little piece of cyber space.  Technology is planning to release the next greatest thing: 5Gs(although that statement could be outdated the moment I post this).  And even though they are finalizing and mastering the 5G, it is only the stepping stone of getting to the era of a much bigger world that I can't even fathom; but they do.  I just stand amazed as people have the creativity to dream bigger and bigger, and continue to achieve those dreams.  I admire them as they celebrate their accomplishments, for they have much reason to celebrate.

I too have lived dreaming bigger and bigger.  I have achieved my dreams, have built stepping stones along the way, but I don't think I have celebrated each of them.

As funny as it sounds, we're still adjusting to what has always been our norm.  It has been a little over a month since our son has been removed from our home, and we're still adjusting to things as they were before.  I still fumble when asked "how many in your party?" as we dine out.  And it isn't only because our son is gone, but now with our oldest being partially gone as well. 

There isn't a day that doesn't go by, when I'm not wondering about our son.  He's always in our heart, and now I see he always will be. 

I now look at our family.  We are currently adjusting rooms once again, giving everyone their own space decorated in their own personality.  As we started this process, I was allowing the practicality rule me.  But truth is, seeing the evidence of a room that has stood empty as it waited for a Liberian boy to come, and then what was once filled with a beautiful and broken 10 year old was more than I could stand to see anymore.  It was time to reclaim what was ours...and it took having a broken dream to see what was before me.  And as we recover, and as we decorate the rooms to fit their own personalities, it is given me a way to recover from a painful loss and actually celebrate the individuals in the family we have.  

Last night we were able to go to the drive-in movies with two of our girls, and it was a moment I was able to embrace.  I admit that as we drove there, I thought of our son:  how he would have enjoyed this night, and the plans we made months ago of seeing this movie together.  But as the four of us huddled and cuddled in the back of our SUV as we watched the movie, I realized "this was good". 

And that is when I realized I live in a 3G world. And it is ok!  Our 3G are our three girls:  Lindsay, who is more out of the house than in these days as she is finding strength in spreading her wings.  Katie, our strong leader with a compassionate spirit.  And Courtney who is our glue of the family that keeps us all in tact. 

I was shown last night as we watched the movie how technology is always looking more into the future...3D movies, more G's in our laptops and cell phones, more computer capabilities and the list goes on.  I too lived in the mindset of seeing more.  But now I see what I have and find contentment in lives worth celebrating.  A world that is enough for me.  One full of joy, silliness and heart.  One I can relate to more than any other and one that was built just for me. 

So as the world shows me their new gizmos, the next bigger and better thing.  I refuse to fall into that trap and choose to look into the beautiful faces I see looking back at me and be thankful for the world I have to live.  It is the biggest and best thing I know. 

YES!

The Holy Spirit prompted what Christmas day was to look like in our home. This year we were to bring gifts to Jesus, just as the wise men once did.

In the hussle and bussle of getting ready for Christmas, I remembering wondering "what in the world am I going to bring to the King, who has everything?". I then started creating one gift when the Holy Spirit prompted me to give another.


Our family had a sweet time opening stockings, playing games and just being together centered in love and laughter. It was one of our favorite Christmas'.

Then the time came ... in order to open our gifts, we had to surrender our gift to the Christ child first. Even with the confirmation of knowing we loved one another, and we weren't to judge one another ... the act of giving to our Savior was very hard to do. We had to remove ourselves, and reveal our vulnerability.

Duane removed the family portrait and brought it in. He mentioned how much he valued and loved his family, and has learned that he can't protect it enough, and needs Jesus' to take his family and care for it the way it needs. God does it better, and Duane will follow His leading to be the husband and father he is called to be.

Katie and Courtney shared poems. One a poem of how she sees God and who He is. Another a poem of brokenness and surrender of where she is at in her walk with Him, but a love just the same.


Lindsay brought a necklace that was once her best-friends. After two years of grieving her best-friend (who died from cancer), she has finally giving Jesus what she held most valuable: her best-friend.

When it was my turn I swallowed my embarrassment and gave my gift ... the gift of "YES". I was shown how my words are willing, but my actions aren't following my commitment. In other words, I have been a hypocrite. I told God I would follow through and act out in YES, and not doubt and question. God has given me doors to walk through and I have found comfort in the waiting for those doors to open, that I haven't walked through them as I should. God in return gave me a promise as He extended His hand and showed me TOGETHER we will walk through the coming open doors.

The Christmas gifts are all put away, the tree is taken down and the decorations are stored. However, I still see my gift lying at the manger, and my heart still giving it today. "YES!" I will not be led by how I feel, but trust God fully and TOGETHER we will walk through many open doors in not only this coming year, but the years to come!

"And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

Isiah 6:8.

Merry Christmas from Our Home to Yours!!!!

Christmas 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

Greetings! You need to know you have touched our lives and we are so grateful for you!

As I turned our calendar to November, my mind quickly turned to figuring out what to write about in our annual Christmas letter; panic set in. I didn’t know what to say, but as I cleared and washed the dinner dishes tonight as the family rushed out the door, it was then I knew exactly what to say!

Our lives are full! Extremely Full! Full of Life. Full of Jesus. Full of Love. Full of Fun. Full of Friends. Full of activities. Full of each other. Full of passion. Full of good times. Full of challenges. Full of laughter. Full of emotions. Just plain full! We are experiencing a bounty in fullness….and LOVE it!

Duane remains hard at work, leading our family, being the homework guru and the spiritual head of this family. After 19 years of marriage this year, my admiration and love for him has grown. I can’t speak enough about him. Duane is our stability in our very emotional household! Duane continues at Amgen, in spite of the many lay offs this year. We remain grateful for his job. Duane is a back up leader at his men’s group at church, a leader in the high-school ministry and now helps with security at our church. But mainly…he is the go to man for us. We girls know if we need a problem solved, a listening ear or just a hug where to go … Duane, AKA Daddy. He is the best!

Lindsay. Our lives are filled with anticipation as we watch her finish her senior year and what life holds next for her. But I have to admit seeing her today as she was filling out her college applications brought some sorrow to my heart. I’m not ready to see her go as we enjoy having her around. I enjoy talking and listening with her …especially if shopping is involved! Lindsay continues in piano, bassoon, clarinet and anything else she can get her hands on. She was Drum Major in her school band this year – and as always, did an awesome job in directing, as well as leadership. I stand and look at my daughter, who is now a grown woman, and see her come beside freshmen, encourage, and embrace them; it fills my heart. Lindsay continues working in the church’s nursery and leads worship at the convalescent home. She recently got back from a mission trip to China, bringing back not only many stories but a much bigger heart for the people there. I celebrate her!

Our always active young lady, Katie, is just that…still active! I can’t believe she has started high-school this year, and can believe she loves it, as social as she is! Katie has continued on in band, and is exceptional on the flute…she just got placed in fourth chair (out of 9; beating juniors, sophomores and one other freshman). This is her first year in marching band and seems to bring a lot of life and fun with her. Katie is currently playing basketball, and will be joining the soccer team as well. Katie continues to attract little kids…whether they know her or not, she is mesmerizing to them and a whole lot of fun, and she often takes the time to play and talk with them. The kids love her in the nursery at church, and seem to always look for her! Katie has a gift of life. She embraces it, lives it, and teaches me to enjoy the moments!

Courtney amazes me! I just recently told her how she is my hero. Courtney is back in school, after being home-schooled and LOVING it! The lunch room conversations have been centered on faith, as others have different beliefs. Courtney remains bold and certain as she shares her faith and belief…she stands up when things need to be said – something I would never have done at her age! Astonishing! She is now volunteering twice a week at the Humane Society: one day caring for the cats, the other – the dogs. She loves it. She just recently joined a writing club at school, a place her imagination can run wild, and helps lead Awanas at our church. We are pleased to see the confidence arise in her and just plain astonished!

Me. I am so thankful to be able to still stay at home. I see now, that teenagers need the consistency, stability, and availability now more than ever; and I have the privilege to be able to provide just that. I am now a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate for foster care children; their voice in court). It takes much of my time – and worth every second and mile I have put on the car! I work along side of Duane in the high-school ministry and continue with my bible studies. I am fully blessed!

At the beginning of the year we were able to go to Disneyland and spend some much needed family time. We continue to find magic there, but now found as the girls are older, Duane and I could go and do things we wanted to do as the girls went on more rides. Freedom! Summer seemed so short, as it was filled with volunteering, marching band practices, VBS and our annual summer church retreats. Hiking wasn’t as much as we would have liked to do, but we managed a couple; Duane and Katie hiked a 14er. Katie and I celebrated our birthdays with my mom this year, which made a quick trip to California, and some special time just the two/three of us. We experienced sadness of putting our rabbit of the past 11 years down, but now welcome a new rabbit, Emily – who can’t seem to stay in her cage. Duane and I managed a couple nights away in the mountains that seemed to rejuvenate us for the coming school year, as well as give us the opportunity to have uninterrupted time.

Our home is full of not only the five of us, but it seems that every day there are additional kids calling me “Mom” and sitting around our dinner table or watching a movie with us…or dancing to the wii. It is true…if you feed them, they will come! And we thoroughly enjoy it. A matter-of-fact our family has also finished all the certifications for being a foster home for Denver County. Now we wait to hear what child will be joining our family. So, as you can imagine, our food budget is at its max; yet God continues to provide.

What amazes me the most this year, especially as we celebrate this Christmas, is how the King of the Universe, the same Creator who penned the creation and blew life into it all, the ultimate Healer, the source of love, joy, peace, strength and so much more desires to have personal time with me. Just Him and me, sitting on His lap or laughing as we walk through each activity in life. I have learned to cherish the time I have with Him, and it is that time that I’m able to see life through His eyes and love everything and everyone that comes my way. The Creator of time has time for you too, and as I have found every time I seek Him, He is right there to be found. I pray as we anticipate the coming of a child who is called “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” and reigns on His throne on high that you too will experience that intimate time with Him. He came for me, and He came for you.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas as you celebrate Jesus!

With hearts full of thanksgiving, celebration and much love,

Duane, Karen, Lindsay, Katie and Courtney Archibald

God Is Good!

It is the simple things that bring my life so much joy.  Those simple things are the animals we bring into our family.  Earlier this year we had to put our beloved bunny down.  As you can imagine it was a sad day in the Archibald home.  When we put that bunny down, we remembered all we went through with him and felt as if we were putting all those memories down with our Daisy-Doodle.  Sorrow remained in our hearts, and a yearning in my heart grew more and more for another bunny.

I look through my journal and see conversations I was having with God, laying my heart before him and confessing the reasons I wanted another bunny, but then trusting him in his infinite wisdom to do what was best.  But every corner I was looking to see he was saying yes. 

We went into a new store, Duane wanted to explore.  I came around the corner of the aisle and there was a troft and in it...the last bunny!  It also had the lopped ears I was hoping for!  I looked at Duane ... and he looked at me, knowing he just couldn't say no to me once again.  And now my yearning was filled ... or was it?

This year seems to be a year of hardship for us.  Everything seems to be breaking down around us:  car (a couple of times), appliances, home repairs, yard stuff and the list goes on.  Also I am learning that the older your children become the more expensive are the needs.  So needless to say we have been watching every penny that comes and goes through our home.  So when the summer came with all its repairs, it also opened a door of guilt as I contemplated "Did God give me my hearts desire or did I choose this bunny and the expense that came with it?".

Duane took me away for a much needed retreat for the two of us.  We didn't go far, but just needed that time alone.  The phone rang, and it was clear that our bunny who was only months old was at the vet's office and needing emergency care.  I let it all go, as I knew Duane could take care of it.  But then the next day when the vet called me, it was then I heard this was life or death.  It was asked how much we want to invest in this bunny.  It was then, I had to let our bunny go.  I knew I made a decision on my heart about this bunny, not God's in the first place and knew I had to give her back to him.  But in that knowing I took on shame, and even a deserving of punishment for it. 

We picked up our lifeless bunny on the way home, seeing she wasn't eating, drinking and hearing her gasp for air.  Instead of waking to death the next morning as we expected, we awoke to a bunny that was still with us.  And in the few days that followed, we saw a  HUNGRY and very enthusiastic bunny who couldn't get enough of each of us. 

I then realized that God loves the littlest desires of our hearts.  And I think he loves those desires because it is those desires He can show how GREAT he is.  He takes that shame, dusts it off and restores us with fulfillment and makes it all OK.  He showed me the desire of my heart wasn't a bunny but instead God to fulfill the emptiness I was experiencing.  I see today as we hold our newest member of our family and see how he redeemed what was probably not the best decision we made, and made it good and even brought our family closer to Him through it!

Do you know what my favorite part about Easter was?

Nope, it's not the beautiful dresses!

Nope, it's not the traditional cup of tea in fine china, with homemade cinnamon rolls that follow.

  

Nope, it wasn't watching a bunch of home movies; laughing and remembering and some even being a bit embarrassed.  Fun...but not it.

Nope, it's not coloring eggs!

Well, it could be going to church in full celebration ...but sorry, not it!

Nope, it's not the Easter baskets with all the candy!

Nope, it's not even the delicious food.

Nope, it's not the family bike ride we enjoyed this year, or getting caught in the rain at the end.

Nope, it's not even the puppy enjoying his new finds!

It could have been the girls putting a surprise together; playing and singing a song to one of my favorite Easter movies (Veggie tales Easter Carol)...very close, but still not it!

Nope not watching all the Easter movies...not even the Donut Man's Easter Celebration.

All GREAT guesses, but not it.  Give up?

My favorite part about Easter was the five of us coming together in our annual tradition of reading Benjamin's Box, opening Resurrection Eggs and Reading through the Scriptures and hearing the Easter story all over again, as if it was our first time.  As the years move on, there isn't much of a surprise anymore as to what is in the eggs, there isn't a different ending to the book.  But what I love is that God's word is alive and there is always something new to find.  I also stand on reassurance God's word will not return void.  This is the foundation of what is to come in the lives of these girls and generations to come - Jesus! He was, He is and is to come!

Time for a Get-Away

There is always a time when one needs to get-away. With the adoption journey we have been on, and the emotions of letting go, and the strong desire to reclaim our lives we took some time-out to do just that:   reclaim our family life. And what a better place to do it in, then Disneyland!