It always amazes me with the world of technology and I admit; that I too like to indulge into a little piece of cyber space. Technology is planning to release the next greatest thing: 5Gs(although that statement could be outdated the moment I post this). And even though they are finalizing and mastering the 5G, it is only the stepping stone of getting to the era of a much bigger world that I can't even fathom; but they do. I just stand amazed as people have the creativity to dream bigger and bigger, and continue to achieve those dreams. I admire them as they celebrate their accomplishments, for they have much reason to celebrate.
I too have lived dreaming bigger and bigger. I have achieved my dreams, have built stepping stones along the way, but I don't think I have celebrated each of them.
As funny as it sounds, we're still adjusting to what has always been our norm. It has been a little over a month since our son has been removed from our home, and we're still adjusting to things as they were before. I still fumble when asked "how many in your party?" as we dine out. And it isn't only because our son is gone, but now with our oldest being partially gone as well.
There isn't a day that doesn't go by, when I'm not wondering about our son. He's always in our heart, and now I see he always will be.
I now look at our family. We are currently adjusting rooms once again, giving everyone their own space decorated in their own personality. As we started this process, I was allowing the practicality rule me. But truth is, seeing the evidence of a room that has stood empty as it waited for a Liberian boy to come, and then what was once filled with a beautiful and broken 10 year old was more than I could stand to see anymore. It was time to reclaim what was ours...and it took having a broken dream to see what was before me. And as we recover, and as we decorate the rooms to fit their own personalities, it is given me a way to recover from a painful loss and actually celebrate the individuals in the family we have.
Last night we were able to go to the drive-in movies with two of our girls, and it was a moment I was able to embrace. I admit that as we drove there, I thought of our son: how he would have enjoyed this night, and the plans we made months ago of seeing this movie together. But as the four of us huddled and cuddled in the back of our SUV as we watched the movie, I realized "this was good".
And that is when I realized I live in a 3G world. And it is ok! Our 3G are our three girls: Lindsay, who is more out of the house than in these days as she is finding strength in spreading her wings. Katie, our strong leader with a compassionate spirit. And Courtney who is our glue of the family that keeps us all in tact.
I was shown last night as we watched the movie how technology is always looking more into the future...3D movies, more G's in our laptops and cell phones, more computer capabilities and the list goes on. I too lived in the mindset of seeing more. But now I see what I have and find contentment in lives worth celebrating. A world that is enough for me. One full of joy, silliness and heart. One I can relate to more than any other and one that was built just for me.
So as the world shows me their new gizmos, the next bigger and better thing. I refuse to fall into that trap and choose to look into the beautiful faces I see looking back at me and be thankful for the world I have to live. It is the biggest and best thing I know.