Connection...what are you connected with?

I LOVE Facebook. I love being connected to the world I left almost four years ago, in California. I love getting connected with childhood friends. I love feeling I know what is going on in the world. I love hearing about events at our church. I love knowing when friends had their babies, and even learning about deaths. I love hearing others speak their praise and recognition to God. I just love the connection I have in my Facebook world.

I have left a church because of lack of connection. I almost left our current church for the same reason, until God showed me to pursue what I am looking for in connection.

I live in a corner of the world where our neighbors don't talk to one another. One neighbor thinks we are just plain weird because we don't have cable and have a vegetable garden. Other neighbors are feuding, thus won't talk to anyone on our block. One neighbor doesn't have their kids play with ours because ... well, I don't really quite know why.

I consider myself a friendly person, and feel I am eager to help ... but yet, I just can't find that deep connection with another person, who I can laugh, talk or walk with. I have mentioned in previous posts how I have been lonely...and I think bottom line it is because of the world I live in. However, it was just yesterday I have realized I won't approach others because they have connection...and don't need someone like me in their world. So I know God has shown me something He is about to change in me.

Thus because of the world I live in ... Facebook is my connection, my friend, and what I have called a need in my life.

Through some of my "Facebook friends" I have learned about a 40 day fast our pastor challenged the youth with. What I have gathered through "Facebook status'" is our society is so attached to technology, and we aren't necessarily hearing the clear voice of God, because we are letting that technology distract us. For 40 days they were to give up something, so they may hear the voice of God get louder in their lives. I applauded our youth pastor behind the computer screen. And convinced myself I had nothing to give up. Have I mentioned how much I love Facebook?

My biggest complaint in my spiritual life lately is not clearly hearing the voice of God. Yes, there are times I am prompted and "sense" God's leading...but His voice has been quite muffled these days. I have been missing it so much! Put the emptiness of His voice with my isolated world...it is frankly, lonely.

I looked at my life and it's technology. Not only do I have Facebook, but a new phone that lets me see what is going on on Facebook and see all my emails. I am always connected! I have surrendered to defeat by not pursuing relationships or God's voice and have replaced it all with technology and have called it good.

So I took the challenge and stepped it up. I have been off of Facebook for about a week now. I turn on the computer after noon and make sure it is off when Duane comes home from work. I don't check emails (and of course Facebook) from my phone anymore. I have never been a big texter, but I have taken guard against that too. We don't turn the TV on much anymore, if we do it is for one movie or family show, and then off it goes.

I never knew how addicted I was to my technology world until I have lived without. I remember one day wanting so much to be "connected" and found God's voice telling me "I want to be connected to you!". WOW! Here I thought I was sound in my Lord, and still found things I have chosen over Him.

I am thankful God hasn't chosen the newest gadget, the newest flower or even the newest baby over me. He simply chose me. He has never left me or forsaken me, and has remained forever faithful with me - even though I have been a bit distracted with our technology. I am thankful I have never had to see his back as I approach him, or thought I was weird as we gather in the garden to see what a sunflower seed can produce. I am thankful He came to this earth so we may have connection with Him and He with us. And find when I seek Him the loneliness is gone!

I am thankful I stepped up to this fast. I have seen our marriage flourish because we are communicating face to face instead of Duane talking to me as I talk to the computer. I have seen a deeper connection with my girls because they aren't turning the TV on out of boredom and we are playing games instead. It has only been one week...so I'm still expecting to share in a later post how I have connected to our corner of the world, how our family has even grown closer, and what God has said to me.

I confess it is still hard to be "without". But I'm starting to go to a deeper place and finding being "without" isn't so bad for I am "with" my God where I have longed to be. Yes sometimes it still is hard, but it is so worth it!