God Always Shows Up Because He is Always There!

So be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.

For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.

He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (New Living Translation)

This verse was waiting for me in my email today. A verse I know, and a verse that is always on my heart. A verse that reminds me everyday God will never leave me or forsake me. He is there - always! But it wasn't until this evening, I understood why my spirit was "nudged" this morning as I read it.

I have confessed in previous posts how I have battled with our adoption. How I have had to let Elijah go more and more, and not even knowing how I have picked up this battle. I know he is in better hands than I can even offer, but I would lie to you if I say things are hunky doory. In spite of the heartache it brings to not have Elijah home we do have peace. And as we pray each day, may God's will be done!

I am a black and white thinker. If I can't have Elijah home, then let us move on...let us let him go. And I try. I believe it is my weakness and my heartache that tries to let it go so I can move on and try and get over the pain of this wait. I remember a day full of emotions over our Liberian children and I knew I just had to let them go once again. This time instead of just letting them go I wanted to walk away. That particular day we went to a Kari Jobe concert...their outreach ... orphan care, and behind the worship song lyrics up on the screen were Elijah's eyes looking right at me. Coincidence? No! God? Oh, yes!!!

Another time, I was in a state of despair and anguish. I surrendered all this adoption stuff once again to my Heavenly Father, and confessed I just couldn't do this anymore. "I can't...please don't make me" were the words off my lips. My heart was done. I shouldered the weight of disappointment from Duane and the girls, which only made all the emotions of this journey that much more painful. The next day our congressman phoned and emailed to help us out in our plight. Coincidence? No way!!! God? Absolutely!!!

It is these times of surrender God has shown Himself over and over again. And shown us His will and desire to carry this load of ours.

So today our adoption continues to be held by His hands. No others.

Unfortunately, I can't stop the emails. Emails that draw us to stay on top of things. I prayerfully answer them now for I want to remain in obedience to the One who has it all under control. However, I see them and emotions still arise. Some bring hope and excitement, others bring anguish. Today was one of those days.

Our recent fight is with the US government. So I pray. I act on what He tells me. And I remain still until He tells me what to do. Today we received an email from the US embassy stating a document that is needed. A document that was sent in four months ago, still waiting for a response. Without it there is no proof...just one word against another. I found myself overwhelmed - to say the very least. I was discouraged. I was angry. And so, so tired thinking of the road ahead.

I wondered again if God really wanted this adoption to perceed.

So I sat still today as I was knocked off my feet. I remained overwhelmed as to where I even start with this leg of our journey ...what do we do? Which office do we contact? What phone number do we use? Will our congresswoman help us? And may I just add the immigration part of this adoption is as clear as mud for me, only making me that much more confussed and overwhelmed. Once again, I couldn't do it.

I was on the phone with our agency this evening - preparing the first steps to tackle this. At the end of the phone call, Duane came home from work and waved something at me. We received the EXACT paperwork that was needed. This particular battle we were set up to fight, had already been won! God did all the work and I did nothing!

God continues to show Himself to us. He has everything all under control. We truly don't have to lift one finger.

So I look back at Deuteronomy 31:6 and remember. God is always with us...He didn't show up tonight, He's always been. He showed His glory and His poweronce again tonight! His presence is always with us and our circumstances. He remains. And He is so so good!

But I think of you, as I had the need to share with you. I think of you, because I know there is someone who is struggling, overwhelmed, in anguish and full of despair. I want you to know that isn't what God wants for you. I ask you to surrender it all to Him, the One who is able and willing to carry your load for you. His love wipes each tear from your eyes, and wants so desperately for you to crawl up into His lap. Will you? Please don't miss out! He is so so good and has already won the battle for you!