Promises

Sports.  I don't know about where you live, but here in Colorado there is a sport or two and a team or two for every season.  If I turn on the nightly news, it is sports that cover the hour.  For the past two or so weeks all we have heard about is the Payton and Tebow saga...and it is always top of the news.  I won't even remind you...it's not football season, and we haven't heard one comment about the Rockies. 

I have never been a Bronco's fan, and more likely never will.  I'm not a football fan.  Our family is all about baseball.  Duane and Katie enjoy basketball.  Trading seems to be part of the sports territory, no matter what sport you choose.  As a fan, it is to the point where it makes it hard to get your heart sold out for your "favorite player" before the team sends them on their way for someone new.

Duane and Katie were upset days ago, as their favorite player got traded off the Nuggets.  Duane remained in confussion, as the Nuggets had just paid a hefty price to keep this player for five years ... but now he is gone.  The money is still paid, but the promise of playing on the team is broken.  My baseball team since I was little, traded in a player that won't be able to play because of penalties he has to endure, as part of a consequence to his behavior.  Yet he was brought in a promise to play, and sealed with a salary.  Broncos just took on a favored and well known quarterback for a hefty price of 95,000,000.  The promise is Payton will play and the hope is the Broncos will be in the Superbowl.

It got me thinking about promises.  A team promises to keep a player, and the promises are sealed with a price.  And in spite of the price, promises are broken.   

I thought about God.  Because I play for him.  He has many promises for me, and with me.  I was even sealed with a price ... an ultimate price - His life.  When I break my end of the promise ... his price has still been made.  I also so thankful I won't be traded for someone bigger and better than I will ever be.  God will keep me still.  He sees my worth and my potential.  He sees how much He has invested in me and with His coaching, all the victories we will experience.  I hold onto my promise in Him, and know it will never be broken, for my God will never leave me or forsake me. 

So perhaps we are in an era where promises of jobs are like shifting sand, perhaps our family's promises of get togethers don't stand to be true, perhaps even our promises of friendships come and go ... either way, I will remain confident of this:  "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made".  (Psalm 145:13b)

Let Me Hold You Longer

There have been a couple of events that have taken hold in our home in the last month.  Events some may think, it isn't that big deal...others, can grasp it in their heart.

Last month, Lindsay turned 18 years old!  18 Years old marks adulthood ... yet I still see the baby girl within.

Last month, Lindsay was accepted to two colleges!  Two weeks ago, Lindsay had auditions to get into the performing arts school of music in one of the colleges.  I will save that story for another time, and for now I will focus on this Mama's heart.  The day we have trained and prepared our baby for is closer than ever before ... I don't see my life ever being the same. 

This weeks marks the first week of the last quarter.  The school year is drawing to an end.

I contemplated how to share the tears I have wept, the joy I have danced and the full heart I hold during this time.  I came across a children's book I purchased a few years back, not grasping it then but with a full concept now. Let me read it to you, with my own pictures, and some edits made personally by me.

Let Me Hold You Longer

Written by Karen Kingsbury

Long ago you came to me,

  a miracle of firsts:

First smiles and teeth and baby steps,

  a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away
  and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of
  a lifetime of your lasts...

The last time that I fed

your baby lips.

The last time that I lifted you

and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,

  needing to be walked,

When last you crawled up with your Cookie Monster,

  wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,  still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you'd marry
  Daddy when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and
  bright flashes from you past-
Would I have held on longer if
  I'd known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park,
  your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
  dress and gave a little tap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,

  those last days of first grade,

Your last craft created in Sunday school,

  last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all

  your yesterdays long passed.

So what about tomorrow-

  will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog

  in the window wells.

The last time that I kiss your hurts

  all those time you fell.

Silly,scattered images

  will represent your past.

I keep on taking pictures,

  never quite sure of your lasts...

The last time that I comb your hair

  or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
  and tuck you in a night.
The last time when we cuddle
  with a book, just me and you.
The last time you jump in our bed
  and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,
  the last field trips, especially in 4th grade.

Your last few weeks of middle school,

  and watching you squeal for parades.

I look ahead and dream of days
  that haven't come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
  today's sweet, precious lasts ...






The last time that I help you with

  a math or spelling test.

The last time when I shout that yes,

  your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for
  a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
  and your argument of how "things aren't fair".

My life keeps moving faster,

  stealing precious days that pass.

I want to hold on longer-

  want to recognize your lasts...

The last time that you need my help

  with details of a date.

The last time that you ask me 
if you could be home late.

The last time that you talk to me

about your hopes and dreams.

The last time that you wear your drum major uniform

for your high school team.

I've watched you grow and barely noticed

seasons as they pass.

If I could freeze the hands of time,

I'd hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,
you'll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.
One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you'll be missed.
I'll watch you leave and think how fast our time together passed.

Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.

This is what the Lord says:

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom

or the strong man boast of his strength

or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:

that he understands and knows me,

that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,

justice and righteousness on earth,

for in these I delight,

declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-34

D.R.A.M.A.

I'd be a millionaire for all those people who told me when my girls were little "oh, just you wait for those teenage years".  I'd be a trillonaire for all those people who gave me their warning and now I'm "living the dream!"

Boys.  Clothes.  School.  Who is dating who and who is breaking up with who.  Hurt.  Friendships.  Cunning remarks.  Good days.  Assemblies.  Sports.  These are the highlights of my afternoons when the girls get off the school bus and walk into our lives.  Duane and I have noticed we've become the "fix-it doctor" as we council our girls through their everyday issues.

Now in no way I'm going to share with you my struggles to receive your pity.  I'm not complaining, I have noticed how I have stepped off my path and now getting back on course.   I also want to make it clear:  I love my world, because I love my girls!  However, I do believe with every mile stone in raising our children is another mile stone for me to learn.

Time between a husband and wife seems far and in between.  My personal time with God seems to be limited only when the girls aren't around.  Quietness and the calmness has seemed to have left our home all together.  I noticed I would rather be out of the house than in it, and that is when the alarm bell set off.  I love my girls, and if I love them I should want to be around them...not away from them.

I noticed too I was exhausted.  All this drama was consuming me, and I was now a 24 hour counselor, 7 days a week.  Somewhere the boundary was broken ... and now it was my job to fix all their problems.

God never speaks directly in His word about how to raise teenage daughters in the current day and age we are in, and never speaks directly using the word "drama" but I did see something.

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.  They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.  Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

You, however, did not come to know Christ that way.  Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.  You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  "In your anger do not sin":  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 4:17-5:2

Now I'm not saying that we have it all together at all, but I have found my direction and have taken back my home once again, filling it with calmness and love once again.  I have already lived my teenage years, and choose to take off those old ways and live in the new creation God made in me.  I will love my girls through these challenging years, and help them see all God has for them and is in them.  I will trust God's council in their lives, not mine.  I will have us all check our words, thoughts and deeds at the door and bring only what is good in.  I will continue to forgive and seek forgiveness just the same.  And I will guard what comes off the lips of mine and my girls.  I will no longer let the devil have a foothold and steal the life we have in our home.  Kindness and compassion will fill our home once again ... and it will stay as the drama leaves!