Today we wait...

We have finished Elijah's room. The paint is dry, wallpaper hung, decorations up, furniture moved, toys put away, hand-me-down clothes washed and filling the dresser. Yes, it is exciting. However, now it is a reminder that we are ready and he isn't here. I knew waiting was going to be hard, I just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Anyone who knows us also knows what we are in the process of doing. So the first question is "when is he going to come home?" "We don't know" is our response, but it just doesn't make sense to those who are watching. And we remain waiting - and it is getting hard.

You see every holiday, family event or vacation we spend Duane and I have this sense for a long time that our family wasn't complete - someone was missing. Now we know who it is and it just seems wrong to celebrate without him with us. It is so amazing to us to miss someone so much, someone that we have never met.

We went to church last night, after a day I was a bit down because of wanting Elijah with us. I worshipped, but pleaded with God that He would bring Elijah to us soon...I mean lickity split. I even pleaded that God would reveal himself and tell us when Elijah is to come home. My mind was focused souly on Elijah and his homecoming. My heart is already with him, my love grows daily for him, and I yearn to have him in our presence.

And then it hit me. Just as much as I want to love and see Elijah, I'm supposed to want to love and see God that much more.

Perhaps someday I will share with you all how Elijah came to be. But today I will just say that it was definitely God ordained. Yesterday I was running out of hope that Elijah was going to come, there are many hurdles to overcome in Liberia (and we are talking about a country that isn't run like ours, sometimes just makes no sense, and on their own timetable), and days to wait, pray and be patient. I am so thankful God doesn't run out of hope with me as I am so quickly to do in so many areas of my life. After I pondered the story of how Elijah came to be, I was reminded to trust and hope in Christ, not the adoption process and watch and see what great things He is going to do, in His timing. I let Elijah go in God's hands last night - once again, and I ran to my Savior, my God and today am waiting with Him and watching what great things He is going to do.

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith...

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:22a & 23